gaudi Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 OK so I'm now well over a month into my NC with my EX who dumped me. I'm not doing too bad to be honest, but as I've said before, some days are better than others. I haven't had the urge to break my NC recently, as I know it just won't help. I haven't been checking her FB, nor have I been in touch with friends who know her. But today poses a problem, it's the first time since well before I began my NC I head back to a part time job (after a christmas break) where she works too. Me and her bumping into each other is absolutely unavoidable. Any advice about how I could handle this, and I would be most grateful......
thepulse27 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 this is gonna be tough, sorry mate i really feel for you. I'd say be polite but don't make an effort to smile - it'll be hard to hide the pain behind that. Only thing I'd tell myself is do NOT let yourself get into a conversation with her, I find keeping control so hard when there's contact. If it's possible to be as social with everyone else as you normally would without much contact with her then that would be ideal, but I realise how hard that could be. Again I'm sorry mate. Sort something out for tonight, see some mates and go for a drink or something. And spend the day looking forward to that whenever it gets hard. Good luck!
DenverBachelor Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Any advice about how I could handle this, and I would be most grateful...... Do you really need this part-time job? Otherwise, I would just try to go about your day without making any real contact with her. If you pass her in the hallway and make eye-contact, just give her a firm business smile, nod your head slightly and keep on walking. Don't initiate any idle conversation with her. Hopefully this is a big office and you guys aren't stuck in a 15x15 room together. If that's the case, I would just give a respectful greeting and go about your work and only interact with her if it is absolutely necessary for business.
hero112 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I would act like myself but act strictly professional at work, speak with her if it's only relevant to work. If she initiates contact just tell her that you don't want to discuss anything at work. Do not feed her ego by asking her how she's doing and any small. Remember she chose to end it, so you are the one to choose how you want to deal with her! Goodluck mate
twinklecat Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Hey guadi This is something I have quite a bit of experience on, as I work at the same place as my ex, so I feel for what you're going through. What I tend to do is pretty much ignore him, unless it's work related. There have been occasions where we have spoken, but again I made sure it was work related and made no small talk. While sometimes I feel like I am being childish, it's the best way for me to deal with it. Good luck!
anne1707 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Gaudi Just keep it polite yet professional. Only talk work if you need to speak to her and also ignore any attempt of her trying to catch your eye. It's tough but you need to act as if you are not bothered one way or another by her being there. Make plans for what you will do during lunch and any breaks so that you are occupied in some way that means she cannot communicate with you - e.g. meet friends, go shopping and treat yourself. When you get home, just come on here and have a rant if you need to get it out of your system
DenverBachelor Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 .. and keep the stapler gun fully loaded in case things get ugly. Shoot a rubber-band at the back of her head if she gives you lip. If she has to use the copier a lot, set the machine to reduce by 90%. Glue her pen caps to the top of her pen.
anne1707 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 .. and keep the stapler gun fully loaded in case things get ugly. Shoot a rubber-band at the back of her head if she gives you lip. If she has to use the copier a lot, set the machine to reduce by 90%. Glue her pen caps to the top of her pen. Set up the odd trip hazard here and there, virus on her PC, loosen a screw on her chair,.......
Vampire Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Start a vicious rumour that she's stolen money from petty cash. Get her fired. Make sure you look confident. Don't let her spot any sign of weakness in your armour. Be cool fella.
CaliGuy Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Pretty solid advice here. To recap: Be polite, but don't initiate any contact unless it's work related. You don't have to say hello to her if you don't want to. Just mind your business, do you job and keep on trucking.
nobmagnet Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I would stick to the whole vindictive stuff!!!! hahahah soz some of the advice has been helarious! i would just accidently stick a foot out as she walks past........................who ever falls with grace????? muhahahah xx Nobby x
Author gaudi Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 OMG, you are all f***ing NUTS !!! haha
twinklecat Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Haha! This made me smile, while I could never be that vindictive, it's funny to have thoughts like that!
CaliGuy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Those of you wanting revenge on a former mate who is a coworker: "The best revenge is a life well-lived" (without them!)
Author gaudi Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 See? You see ?? Caliguy gives profound and sensible advice. I'm just gonna listen to him in the future. Although I did try firing elastic bands at her but most of them missed !!
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