mammax3 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Should a friend not talk about her successes if the other friend is having a hard time?
tahoebuffy Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Tricky situation. First off, be proud of your successes. Dont be afraid to share with your friend your successes because that is the nature of friendship. If she is truly your friend and not vying to beat you at the game of life, she will be happy for you. That said, be respectful of her situation and judge the situation on a per event basis. For example, if she just got fired, and you just scored a sweet job, skip the end zone boogie in her presence. Even the finest friends might find it hard to be happy for you if you are waving your successes around like a flag twirler in a parade. She might get it into her head that you are bragging BECAUSE you know she doesnt have what you have, interpret it as an open attack, and do god knows what. Women can be strange at times.
Boundary Problem Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Depends if you are close friends or not. If one friend is struggling it can be uplifting to both to hear about the success of the other. I know when I hit rock bottom, my friends actually stepped in to help fix my problems, e.g send clients my way, help me fix my place for sale. truly helpful. And I never begrudged their successes. In fact they gave me hope that I would succeed, and slowly that has happened - with their help. But there is nothing more annoying than someone who only can talk about themselves. Make sure to include them in the conversation. Chances are if they are struggling in one area (e.g. finding a job) they are likely doing well in another (spending lots of time with their children and taking their children to lessons, playdates etc). So just draw those other 'successes' out of them and don't let them define themselves by the struggle to find a new job etc.
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