Maybeitsjustme Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I think my GF is having a fling/affair. I need closure on this can I ask opinions as to the best way to gather the "final piece of the jigsaw??" I can let this go and its really gotten hold of me whilst she has denied everything so far and I do want to believe he she has lied about some stuff and something is still not right Like I say I really need closure on and for all. I think the only route left is a PI.
Jeff1962 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Dude. You did not provide any exact information over your concerns. You could be insecure. You could be right. You could have trust issues. Too vague to give opinion.
jnd2009 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 you think? or you know? I agree with above ^^^
Space Ritual Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 OP posted on another thread a few minutes ago that his GF was being shifty on her work computer and he discovered she joined a dating site recently an d has gotten some 30 favorites. So OP, I'll tell you right now she is looking for your replacement... you don't need a PI, you need the guts to stand up to a cheater...make the decision for her...Dump her.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Why even waste your money? I'm sure you love her..but it isn't worth your money, why pay for her infidelities? confront her! get the truth yourself.
LakesideDream Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I think my GF is having a fling/affair. I need closure on this can I ask opinions as to the best way to gather the "final piece of the jigsaw??" I can let this go and its really gotten hold of me whilst she has denied everything so far and I do want to believe he she has lied about some stuff and something is still not right Like I say I really need closure on and for all. I think the only route left is a PI. Sir, you don't need "closure". That's the good news because there is no such thing. "Closure" was made up by Oprah and Dr. Phil over a decade ago to pander to their audiance. You need the courage to move on and find someone more worthy of your respect and love. Leave closure to the afternoon Diva's.
bittersweet memories Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I think my GF is having a fling/affair. I need closure on this can I ask opinions as to the best way to gather the "final piece of the jigsaw??" I can let this go and its really gotten hold of me whilst she has denied everything so far and I do want to believe he she has lied about some stuff and something is still not right Like I say I really need closure on and for all. I think the only route left is a PI. I read a little bit of your past posts... I say go with your gut feeling most of the time it is always right. If you want to hang on because you don't have enough proof then do it. Expect that it will not be a healthy relationship because you have these doubts and trust issues.
Brandy228 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I think my GF is having a fling/affair. I need closure on this can I ask opinions as to the best way to gather the "final piece of the jigsaw??" I can let this go and its really gotten hold of me whilst she has denied everything so far and I do want to believe he she has lied about some stuff and something is still not right Like I say I really need closure on and for all. I think the only route left is a PI. Not nearly enough details to give an educated guess, dude. Why do you feel she is having a fling? I'll tell you how I proved my fiance was having a fling, but I want to know more first, kay?
Dexter Morgan Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I think my GF is having a fling/affair. I need closure on this can I ask opinions as to the best way to gather the "final piece of the jigsaw??" I can let this go and its really gotten hold of me whilst she has denied everything so far and I do want to believe he she has lied about some stuff and something is still not right Like I say I really need closure on and for all. I think the only route left is a PI. you dont need proof if she is exhibiting suspicious behavior. If you think she is having a fling, then obviously she is spending time away from you and being shady about it. If that is the case, its all the info you need.
Dexter Morgan Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 OP posted on another thread a few minutes ago that his GF was being shifty on her work computer and he discovered she joined a dating site recently boom! there you go, all the "proof" he needs to get rid of her.
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Summary we had a bad couple of years was selling our house but fell through in sept and we diceided to give it a go. Even when we were going to live seperately we were going to stay bf/gf the dating site stuff msn addy etc all go back to beging 2008!. and the laptop thing is still happening in that she wont use it infront of me. and as recently as the xmas holiday she had an extra days vacation (i didnt know this until 3 or 4 days before) so i m guessing she could contact him on her work laptop and meet him after being away for 2 weeks, she went out in the pm "too she her girlfriend" nothing on cell phone thats clean so i can only assume laptop is when at home at least the chosen method of contact (why would you take a works laptop home over the xmas vacation ???? and then not use it???? (well not in front of me)
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Im sorry to all but I do need that final piecee of confirmation like i say during some of that 2 year period we could have both had flings and i think i would have understood! it really wasnt good. But i just want to know the truth, she told me to "stop looking you wount find any thing i have done nothing!" I've made the common mistake let emotion take over and have lost the element of surprise!, i know she'll go to ground and has started doing so i guess with the lack of use of the work Laptop Where can I go from here to seal the deal? I would like to track her phone (cars no could they could go in his car) she keeps that with her like all of us 99% of the time, or the PI route. I really am sorry guys but I want to know the truth
Brandy228 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 It sounds like you may not be able to get your hands on her laptop for any length of time. If you can, there's a keylogger you can use absolutely free for 1 week, after that it's $70, and it's well worth the investment. Google this exact phrase: "All In One Keylogger" It takes awhile to set up, and you have to make sure her anti-virus software doesn't detect it. You have to make an "exception" for it, and if you're not comfortable navigating through the anti-virus program, you may be looking at 30 minutes at least to get it set up. The beautiful thing about it though, is once it's set up it emails you the log at regular intervals, how ever often you tell it to, so you'd never have to hassle with getting your hands on her laptop again. But there's another speed bump there, you can't email it to your regular account, you have to set up a POP account, which they give you all the information you need. Plan your time carefully, make up an excuse to use her laptop (your computer died or something) and get her to go out with the girls. Good luck. I know first hand how important it is to have peace of mind.
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Thank Brandy buts its a work laptop and i never get the chance to get near it for any length of time but it seems obvious to me that is how its happening. And shes probably got a seperate cell phone at work that she keeps there as there is no traffic on here personal cell Its when you ask someone some thing and their answers are inconsistant or very strange and of course finding that they had a profile on a dating website (albeit during a time when we were going to live seperately) you know don't you ? i just want to know that im not going made and that all the little things that ive seen, smelt (yes smelt) and heard are just a jumble of "coincidences" but are what i think the sum total of the affair. Individually some of the evidence is almost meaningless but together at the very least its i'd 98% certain that something has gone on Thank you once again for your advice
on1wheel Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 You can do this 2 ways. You can get a keylogger & get the proof or just leave her now. You know she's cheating; that's why you're here. "Advice is what you ask for when you already know the truth, but wish you didn't". I got a computer wiz to find out the info for me & now I wish I hadn't. The things I know haunt me day & night. I knew in my heart she was cheating; just like you do. Save yourself the pain. You can never un-know something & knowledge can be a birden that is difficult to bear. She doesn't care about how you feel & her actions show it. Even if she weren't cheating (she is) the way she treats your concerns/fears are enough to dump her for. Don't waste your money & don't live through the pain that I do...just cut your losses & leave now.
road Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Hide a digital voice activated recorder in the house and one in her car.
imagine Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Hide a digital voice activated recorder in the house and one in her car. I agree with Road. If you can quietly get a pair of her panties use the "Checkmate" test to see if the sperm is yours. Google Checkmate to check for details.
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Cody thanks for your comments but im in real trouble its not just about growing a pair i need, for ends, to find cast iron proof I cant rest until I do my pair may have to wait till they grow!
Space Ritual Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Actually I think you already know the answer. Listen, man, I know this is tough for you...I really do. We are just trying to get you to understand that the likelihood that you will have your "concrete 1 million percent proof, combined with your version of closure" is not going to happen. You want to hang on to something....ANYTHING in your mind to really disprove what is slapping you in the face. We have all been there at one point in time. And you are looking for something that just is not going to arrive. We arent trying to be mean, We are being realistic. It is not going to get any better. My quote at the bottom of my posts is really what it boils down to for you. Stop giving this chick the knife and stabbing you in the back....Dude, I know you think we are just a bunch of bitter fools, but if you really thought that then you would not still be hanging around now would you?
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Yeap just gonna sit back be a goood B/F but not trust her an inch!, will keep a diary and note ANY suspicious things you name it , like I said my biggest mistake was letting some of it out but in truth a it led to otherstuff and b I didn't really expect/want to find anything
GorillaTheater Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Yeap just gonna sit back be a goood B/F but not trust her an inch!, will keep a diary and note ANY suspicious things you name it , like I said my biggest mistake was letting some of it out but in truth a it led to otherstuff and b I didn't really expect/want to find anything I agree with most of the advice you're getting: based on what you say she's done, you should end this relationship; it's obviously doing you far more harm than good, and you can do better. But I also understand that, mentally and emotionally, you're in no shape to call it quits. So, while you wait for the AD meds to kick in, look after yourself. Work out (a GREAT way to deal with depression if nothing else), eat right, avoid the adult recreational substances, and most importantly, detach emotionally from her. Get to where you need to be in order to get your life back in order. Once your head is clear, do what you need to do.
dazzle22 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Most dating sites indicate if the person has 'recent activity'. What sites is she on?
Author Maybeitsjustme Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 Thanks dazzle but shes closed the account down after i told her i had found it!. also when looking for it first time round i swear i can remeber seeing a profile with a ssilmilar style of pic to the one on her msn account. we spoke about stuff again last nite and i cannot believe her lies, she has that when we were in the proccess of splitting up of at going to live seperately she was only looking to plan for the future and that she didnt contact these people, now thow in the flicking/changing screens every time you walk in the room and it does help does it. she also has this habit of having an extra days vacation i go back to work on the monday she has that day off and in the case of the last vacation went out for 4 hours in the afternoon (with her girlfriend)
Recommended Posts