AkashaRose Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Hello all, I am new but am seeking some advice... My current situation is far from easy. I dated a guy for over a year. We made it past the first break-up. Then this last month, the fighting was worse than before. He kept on pressing this idea of a "break" that I didn't want. WELL, I had been hanging out with one of my best friends and we bumped into one of my brother's old friends. The three of us hung out more and more often...and I began crushing on this guy, but I shook it off. The day I went back to school, my boyfriend was being incredibly distant...no surprise... so I hung out with my friends and we all sat and talked about it. The guy I had been crushing on was doing all he could to make me smile and helping me. I felt a lonely, longing inside of me and it was aching for this guy. I texted my boyfriend and told him that maybe a break was a good idea. I was tired of the heartbreak...so we ended it. I am dating that friend of mine now...and my ex was being mean to me. Soon, my ex began to talk to me, sweet talking me...and I felt like I missed him again. He reached for my hand at the auditorium at school...I let him but it didn't feel right... I broke it to my ex that I COULD NOT break my new boyfriend's heart, because he has done all he could to be kind to me. He says I led him on but I was CONFUSED. But I do not desire to be with him. My ex said I played him all along and he was so upset...I felt bad but I can't cry anymore. Am I doing the right thing...or is this another rebound that is doomed?
HLP234 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Well since he wanted the break, he should of expected this. I would sit and tell him exactly how you feel about it and everything that led to your decision. It looks like a rebound but it doesn't have to be as long as you let your ex know that it was his decision and there wasn't anything you could do. When he said he wanted a break, were you doing anything to make it seem like you still wanted to be with him? Has he came and talked to you after the break about what he thinks? He should have, its not right to just move on without letting the other person know I think. I would have taken some time to myself and figured out exactly what you want. You didn't seem to do anything wrong..he wanted a break and in that case you can't sit and wait for him nor can you make it look like you are needy.
Author AkashaRose Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 Well since he wanted the break, he should of expected this. I would sit and tell him exactly how you feel about it and everything that led to your decision. It looks like a rebound but it doesn't have to be as long as you let your ex know that it was his decision and there wasn't anything you could do. I warned them if he left me, this could happen. When he said he wanted a break, were you doing anything to make it seem like you still wanted to be with him? Has he came and talked to you after the break about what he thinks? He should have, its not right to just move on without letting the other person know I think. When he first wanted the break, I didn't want it at all. He didn't talk to me until a week later because he was being a jerk and was refusing to talk to me before then. I would have taken some time to myself and figured out exactly what you want. You didn't seem to do anything wrong..he wanted a break and in that case you can't sit and wait for him nor can you make it look like you are needy. I want the guy I am with now, but when my ex begs and pleads, it confuses me. I didn't want to cry over him anymore, but my new boyfriend isn't a mask for that. I am with him because I really like him! I enjoy being around him.
HLP234 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I understand what you mean. My ex also was the one who wanted the break and I didn't. It was for no reason too..after she moved closer to me to go to school and all. I wanted to talk about it a few weeks later but she never wanted to talk about the relationship. Yet at the same time, she would accuse me of not wanting her and not talking to her when she was the one who said she wanted space to herself. So I understand where you are coming from. Well I am not the type to push people and force others. I gave her the time she wanted and she never even had the decency to tell me it was over..just left me for her friend, and did it by showing me through posting pics with him on facebook. When he contacts you and begs, go No contact. Do not respond to any of his texts/emails/whatever. It was his choice, and now you have found someone else that hopefully will treat you the way you deserve. I am waiting for the same thing to happen, hopefully I can meet someone else to get my mind/memories off my ex. I have accepted it as over but its still depressing. From now, all you can do is take care of yourself and use what you now know in the future.
Author AkashaRose Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I understand what you mean. My ex also was the one who wanted the break and I didn't. It was for no reason too..after she moved closer to me to go to school and all. I wanted to talk about it a few weeks later but she never wanted to talk about the relationship. Yet at the same time, she would accuse me of not wanting her and not talking to her when she was the one who said she wanted space to herself. So I understand where you are coming from. Well I am not the type to push people and force others. I gave her the time she wanted and she never even had the decency to tell me it was over..just left me for her friend, and did it by showing me through posting pics with him on facebook. When he contacts you and begs, go No contact. Do not respond to any of his texts/emails/whatever. It was his choice, and now you have found someone else that hopefully will treat you the way you deserve. I am waiting for the same thing to happen, hopefully I can meet someone else to get my mind/memories off my ex. I have accepted it as over but its still depressing. From now, all you can do is take care of yourself and use what you now know in the future. Thank you so much for the advice. I hope it works out well for you. I feel like I am blessed and I hope you find it too!
HLP234 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Your very welcome! Remember anytime you feel the need to contact him or something, just come on here and post on other people's topics. This place really helps keep your mind off because it lets you get your feelings out. Rather than writing it down or keeping it inside, at least on LS, people respond and you get some feedback. One day is all I can say for me, until then I'll still have the pain and memories but for each one, I can find something to keep myself busy every now and then.
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