mickeymouse Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I am looking for someone with an unbiased opinion on how i should cope with this. My spouse of 12 years in September, 2009 told he no longer is "feeling it" and is not in love me anymore. I begged and pleaded my side with him and agreed to give a try for our sons sake. So I tried for a month and then again he was still not feeling it and stated that he was not trying so I asked him to leave. He was devasted and came to the house every evening to see our son crying and upset. After a few nights he came back and we had a nice christmas and then on January 12, he come home from work all upset and concerned and crying he is not dealing with this well and does not know what to do, he knows he is hurting me and it is killing him and he loves his son and does not want to leave him again i suggest he move in with his mother. He did , he picks up our little guy and is taking him tonight to his freinds house to watch a game and then back to his moms. I miss him i love him but i need to move on. he is showing no signs of missing me or that he is any longer upset, i am not showing how i feel trying to be happy and understanding. Please help i do not know what to do.
hopesndreams Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Sorry mickey. Is there a third party? Not implying there is, just asking the question.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 no as i far as i know there is not, he does not show any signs of having an affair or an emotional affair. but maybe he is , i have asked him and asked him to honest with me as i deserve it, but no is the anwer.
Gunny376 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Ahhhh! Hell that one is plain and simple! (Well maybe not ~ it only took me TWENTY FREAKING YEARS TO BEAT IT INTO MY EVER LOVING HEAD!) 1. Love thyself as no other with ever love you! 2. To thy ownself? Be true! 3. Lie to others? But always be honest with yourself! NEVER lie to yourself! 4. Live your Life for yourself! 5. Never live your life for nor through "others" 6. Don't live your life for others! 7. Wake up each day and the first thought in your mind should either be ""F**K it! I'm still ALIVE" or " Thank God I'm still ALIVE!" 8. Once your parents are gone? You're prettty much on your on! 9. Get your silly happy @zz busy living? Or get your @zz busy dying! 10. You've got your freedom, your strength, your health? Your way ahead of the game. 11. If you can't tell me the difference between the way it is and the way it should be? Your just bitchin' 12. Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem! 13. Be part of the answers! Not part of the questions?
Alpha Centauri Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I feel your pain - oddly enough my wife of 5yrs also told me in Sept 2009 that she no longer has any feelings for me. The first 4 weeks after that were a living nightmare but since then I've slowly picked myself up. You have to. Its YOUR life. And one thing I will say: dont beg or plead. Keep your dignity and honour. I have been tempted to do this but an inner voice tells me "STOP". You have made your case, now step away and get on with your life. Beleive me when I say this as I am in the process of doing this as you read this. Be strong.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 thank you for your replies. i am trying to get on, however it is hard when he comes to pick up our little guy. i have decided that i would no longer bring up the subject of you sitution and just be happy and light hearted even though i am dieing inside.
Alpha Centauri Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Hang in there mickey. I know this is just an electronic forum but theres real people on here going through similar pain. Just want you to know you are not alone and well...all of us are here for ya. Like i said Im in a bit of a mess as well. Shes gone of on a 9 week holiday leaving me alone in the house surrounded by memories...and deafening silence. Its IMPORTANT you find things to occupy yourself with. Dont wallow. Friends are an excellent resource....hang out with them as much as you can. Watch movies, order pizza, go for a walk....keep music playing in the house...just use a program like Winamp and stream whatever music you like. You...we....all of us on here going through pain will get through this one day. Nothing lasts forever...not even this. Strength & honour.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 i hope it all works out for you also, and thank you so much for responding. I.i am just going to give him space, he knows how much i love him and the life we built together now i just need to be the bigger person and suck it up for our sons sake, we need to make it as easy adjustment as we can.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 sorry mickey. Is there a third party? Not implying there is, just asking the question. thanks for responding i am very interested in my theory to leave him alone and just be nice cheeery and pleasant when he picks up our little fellow, trying to also work it out that we do not see each other, just to give space and maybe he will miss me and not take my love for granted. Just a hopeful idea anyway
hopesndreams Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 As long as there is not an OW in the picture then being civil, only discussing your child and following the 180 as best you can, might have a chance of working, and if it doesn't than you will be on your way to living life without him. If there is an OW, and she is not brought out into the open and stays well hidden, your M stands a snowballs chance in h*ll.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 As long as there is not an OW in the picture then being civil, only discussing your child and following the 180 as best you can, might have a chance of working, and if it doesn't than you will be on your way to living life without him. If there is an OW, and she is not brought out into the open and stays well hidden, your M stands a snowballs chance in h*ll. I have thought of the other woman, but i checked his cell phone and his fb which by the way there is nothing. I have asked him if there was and the other day i told i deserve the right to no, he still denies that there is but how do i no. he did not disapear for any amount of time so i am assuming there is not . I am tired of crying and feeling sad, i need to suck it up. HOw can anyone after 12 years and a son they both adore and a life they both loved, house, family neighbours friends just not "feeling it anymore" what exactly are you suppose to feel after 12 years?
hopesndreams Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 After 12 years? A deep, mature love. Something he just wasn't capable of.
Author mickeymouse Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 After 12 years? A deep, mature love. Something he just wasn't capable of. how do i know if there is another woman now that he is gone.
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