BlueLou Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years now. In the last year, we slowly became absolutely best friends, and recently we're barely ever apart. My problem is, should I tell him I've been in love with him for the last 2 years? I recently went away on a month long holiday to Africa, and it's safe to say i missed him more than anything. When i got back, it was apparent he had missed me nearly as much. I get asked regularly what's going on between us, if we're dating, etc. He treats me like a queen, opening and closing gates and doors for me, making me lunch and dinner, turning up on my doorstep at 7:30 am in the morning just so i don't have to walk down to my bus stop on my own. He knows me inside out, he can all but read my mind! He makes me laugh 24/7, tells me I'm beautiful, helps me out with anything i need. Everyone who knows us both thinks he's in love with me, too, but i just can't tell. And i don't want to risk the friendship we have. But i know i cannot live without him. And i don't want anyone but him, either. Other men aren't attractive to me anymore, i mean, maybe in a physical sense, but I can't feel anything for them. I love this guy more than anything else on the planet. help?
Author BlueLou Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 No, he isn't His last girlfriend got jealous, and told him to pick me, as his best friend, or her, as his girlfriend. He picked me!
Sweetcheripie Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Well...I think you should tell him how you feel. Hopefully he feels the same and all would be great. Just be prepared...if he doesn't feel the same way it will be incredibly awkward and may ruin your friendship. Not to be negative but I really think he would have said something by now if he had the same feelings for you....but if he is really young or insecure maybe not. Has he ever been flirtatious? Has he ever made any kind of joking remarks about you and he being together?
Author BlueLou Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 yes, that's what I'm afraid of. I actually could not stand losing him. and yes, he does, frequently. He's pretty determined that we're going to buy a house together in the future, and jokes about marriage, etc. I just worry that I'm taking it the wrong way, and that I'll start feeling like 'Oh, he likes me?' and then mention it and he'll then tell me it was all a total joke.
Sweetcheripie Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 yes, that's what I'm afraid of. I actually could not stand losing him. and yes, he does, frequently. He's pretty determined that we're going to buy a house together in the future, and jokes about marriage, etc. I just worry that I'm taking it the wrong way, and that I'll start feeling like 'Oh, he likes me?' and then mention it and he'll then tell me it was all a total joke. Ok I think you really need to tell him because a "friend" does not talk about marriage in your future. If he is only interested as "a friend" then he is leading you on. How old are you two? This may be very shallow and indelicate of me - but are you two compatible in the looks dept? Like is he not so good looking and you are gorgeous or vice versa?
Author BlueLou Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 20 and 21, he's a year and a bit younger than me. I think we're pretty evenly matched? neither of us are insanely good-looking, yet neither of us are bad looking.
Boundary Problem Posted January 24, 2010 Posted January 24, 2010 Simple. Get him drunk. And rent a DVD. If he isn't attracted to you - it is game over. Don't buy a house with him until you sort that out. Because down the road he WILL find someone he is attracted to and then you'll have to sell the house. The friendship is great but you need to sort out the attraction thing. Without being obvious about it. And brace yourself for him not being attracted to you - ie keep it light and fun. But get the answer you need, so you don't waste years thinking he's 'the one' when in fact he's gay, or in love with his friend's girlfriend - or whatever his hang up is.
fiatflux Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 How about starting to show more physical affection...touching him whenever the opportunity comes up? It probably won't take much of that before he starts reciprocating and the mutual feelings will become clear.
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