HLP234 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Sometimes when they don't know what they want or are unsure about the situation, they will get mad. It will make them wonder why you aren't saying anything and acting like you are ignoring them. When I was on our break, I would not contact her and she would text me all upset or concerned, telling me I was acting like she doesn't exist. Well, she should know that her choice/situation affected you by this. Sometimes they don't see that because they are too busy thinking about themselves. But hey, there is no point in keeping it up if it is just getting nowhere. No one wants to feel like something is working out and then get something else in return.
Author DeadHead Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Yea thanks for the great info! So far she's not tried to contact me yet, but the night is still young.. This Girl has a Blog that I came across and I was reading some of the Posts... She seems really torn apart about her last break up.Talking about how he misses him and is still inlove with him. But then the day I met her, 3 weeks ago, Her update was "I've never been so happy in a looongg time". I'm still trying to grasp the whole concept, but if she was happy with me why does she want a break and be lonely again?
HLP234 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 She must be young and probably has never actually taken the time to be single and just live life that way for a bit. When my ex left me, she got with someone else right away. She never told me or even spoke to me after she did that, and I kind of had to find out myself. A week after I found out, still no message from her saying she made her decision whatever, nothing. Then I see a status from her Aim saying that she is with the "best boyfriend ever." Yeh ok, thats what she thinks right now while this is all new. Its really just 12 year old behavior. She won't think that when they have a problem and or this guy does something she won't like and they are done.
Author DeadHead Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Yea man, straight up. All this is her fault.. I was playing a Coffee House with my band, that's where I met her. We talked for a long time. She was real cool, all her friends told me that she was really into me. She kepted Flirting but not the overly slutty kind. Just playing with and stuff, we hung out for a week, I really got to know her reallly well, she wanted me to ask her out, I knew it. So I did and she was really happy, even said that she has never smiled so much in a loongg time. All her friends were thanking me cause they said she was in a sorta "Depression" from the last break up and she hasn't been like this in a long time. If it was me, I would have waited a little longer to ask her out. But I knew she wanted to. Then a week later, after not seeining her the whole week because of time schedules, midterms, and other stupid things. She tells me that she isn't ready..
Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 Hi Deadhead, As someone who have rebounded many times, I hate to tell you this but she is keeping you around just to make sure she has someone there for her when she gets lonely. She texted you that she likes you but she's not ready and then proceeds to say she wants to hang out means that she doesn't want to be alone while she is recovering but can't commit to you either. I don't know if that's an ideal situation for you, but I think being a rebound guy is not what you deserve to be. Good Luck!
Author DeadHead Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Yea guys I've been thinking about.. And I've come to the conclusion that I'm just gonna give up on trying to go back with her, maybe in the future but right now I think she needs a friend, She is really depressed.. I came across this on her Blog. "I cannot do this. I thought it would be fun but it turns out my heart is not ready to take a leap…Yes, I like you but I prefer you not to be of much more. Yes, I have committed a stupid action. I cannot call you a lover. Oh I do not know! I do not want to be close to anyone right now. All I do is cry now. You have to let me be free. I am the bird but you pin my wings down. Let me fly. You have done what you want now I need to go. I shall never forget those eyes, and when that day I melted into them. Nor the dreams…….أفتقدك…..Μου λείπεις….Tu me manques…If this is what you choose, then please do not ever come back. You have chosen your path and now I have to follow my destiny. You have shown me..God has shown me…that you do not love me, nor care for me. When I dissolve from this East Coast air, maybe then you will realize. And if still you are not aware, I will be saddened by the thought." The beginning is about me, but I'm not sure where it changes to her ex.. It seems as if she can't make her mind up. But I'm done trying to find out. I'm just gonna go with the flow, I just hope she stays strong and doesn't do something stupid.
HLP234 Posted January 20, 2010 Posted January 20, 2010 The bottom part I think refers to her ex I think. I'm not sure if you are ready to be her friend after she just said she wasn't ready..when all along she seemed really happy. I can say the same for my ex, her past problems were the ones that ruined it for me. I was ready to wait until she was over it but then she complained that I never asked her out. We did nothing wrong, you don't want to have a chance with something and then wait and loose it. Which is why you asked her out as well. She shouldn't do anything stupid. She should go to her friends for comfort, but at the same time she also wants you to be there. I would just go NC and lay low for a bit. As long as you know everything and don't stay in a limbo, it should be alright. I still hate the fact that mine just left from the break without one word to me, when while on our break she was still acting like we were somewhat together. That's the hardest part, but keeping yourself busy helps to not think of her and what she is up to.
Author DeadHead Posted January 20, 2010 Author Posted January 20, 2010 Yea man, our stories relate.. Well last night I turned my phone off at 10 thinking "she hasn't texted all night I must be in the clear" So this morning I turn my phone on and I have a 1 missed message, Just a "Hey". I didn't reply. But later in first period I got another text, Saying how "ugh.. I need a hug.." I wasn't planning on replying but I did anyway. I just asked "What's wrong" She just said she's having a bad day. I told her to stay strong and cheer up and the conversation ended there..
HLP234 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Messages like "Hey" and "I need a hug" just means she is looking for attention. She doesn't understand that its also hard for you to let this go, whereas she doesn't seem to mind that, but is sad that she is alone now. I would not have replied, but as long as you stopped where it was, and not say anything it should be alright. Just don't contact her, when you get a messages saying she wants to work stuff out or something, asking for you back, then you can think of something more constructive to say. I wish my ex would send me something even though I know not to reply. She probably deleted every form of contact with me when she decided not to say anything about what she had plans to do. I feel like I am getting over it but at the same time I really miss the way she made me feel. Even now that I think about it, I don't know if I would take her back and just think it would work, I am too hurt to even consider and trust her intentions now.
Author DeadHead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 Yea man, I feel for you! But another thing that's getting at me is it seems, everytime we start a conversation when I reply it's almost likes she's annoyed. Yet she's the one starting the conversation.. Yea She's sending messages now.. I'm doing everything not to reply..
HLP234 Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 That is how it is. The same way with me, she would start the conversation and when I would say something she would either not act interested at all or get upset and tell me I'm acting different. Its just the way that it will be. All you can do is act indifferent and fine about her decision. If you make it seem like you are trying too hard you will get pulled along and this will just make her feel less guilty.
Surfer Girl Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 Not over the ex.... you need to realize this may take time.... In love with the ex.... takes time to get over... Not over yet.... need to move on...
Author DeadHead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 Yea I caved last night, She said "hiiiii" and I just said "Whats up" and the small talk that goes along with that. Then she decides to ask me "What qualities do you look for in a girl?" I named some stupid things, she said.. "ok"... Then I decided to ask her, because that's usually what happens when we are talking I ask her question she'll ask the same thing and vice versa. She said "I don't think you want me to answer that.." So I said "Alright fine with me".. Then she said. I am interested in my Ex boyfriend, The man I am still inlove with"... I just said "Fair enough" and she didn't say anything. I don't really care that she said that, but she's being immature.. You start a conversation with me, don't be the moody one.. I can tell she's getting really lonely, last week you wouldn't have recognized her from the way she is this week. And last week is when we were still together too.
KATEYES Posted January 21, 2010 Posted January 21, 2010 (edited) Another thing when you get texts like "uggghh i need a hug" dont go replying "cheeer up" and that sort of thing!! NO no no no no no no!! Let her deal w her stuff on her own...cause thats what she wanted right?? Dont be a shoulder for her to cry on!!! Especially when shes making little comments like "im still in love with my ex" You are there for her cheering her on when shes down and this is how she repays you with comments like that???!! Hell no!!! listen to me...pay attention...i was her not too long ago... until my guy put his foot down!! Edited January 21, 2010 by KATEYES
Author DeadHead Posted January 21, 2010 Author Posted January 21, 2010 Yea she apologized later on, Saying Goodnight, Im sorry if I ruined you day with my mood swings.. But yea I didn't reply after that, I kinda made it known that I didn't wanna hear that. Thanks alot guys and girls your help has been great!
Author DeadHead Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Guys Major Update! Bear with me I have alot to say and I suck at putting things into words : P. Okay So it's been a while since last I posted. But alot has happened. I'll pick up where I left off and bring it to this point. So yea I know I tried to not start conversations with her but it was too hard so I just talked to her,but there is always this pattern it seems. We start out talking about everyday things, then it gets to where she says shes unattractive or that no one likes her, and I say that's not true and she says yes, we would go back like 20 times, until she gave up (. She would then say something about how great I am and stuff like that. But I also noticed the mood change. But also her mood has been really good, She's forgetting about her Ex now I can tell. I saw her the other day she was shy but I put my hand around her, just a friendly thing. We talked for a while then I had to go, gave me a hug. Then 3 minutes later after I left, She texts me how she misses me already. On her Blog I found this (that she does not know I know of) "Hey guys! I’m doing much better. I have so many things to look forward to and I have someone in particular to keep me distracted. If anyone is reading this, thank you to the ones who helped me get through everything. I guess, I’m thanking you. : ) Lol. But really…thanks for everything : )" I know I am the Particular someone.. but is that a good thing, or was her word choice just bad? So yea!
Davey McG Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 You are merely a distraction to this girl. She feels nothing for you and nothing good will come out of this. You will end up more hurt than if you had just maintained No Contact. RUN while you still can or...learn from this experience when it goes wrong (which it will).
Author DeadHead Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 I am not sure, I think it was a bad choice of words. She feels something for me I know that for sure.
McGrupp Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 oh man. ok about 2 months after i got dumped i found a girl (nov 09) so im happy shes happy. turns out she is still getting over her ex. so i am. what i became and what she became for me was like a FWB situation in the beginning but then we were texting just like you and she eventually went back to her ex and i was left alone. anyway it really didnt hurt because i was still on my ex, but um yeah, i received a lot of simialir communication and responded sometimes. we had like 1 week of fun. but your ****ed buddy. i would move on. the only way your not a rebound is if you give her lots and lots of time.
dyzfunctioned Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 The majority of people will say move on, you're a rebound, etc. etc. because in the majority of cases you are simply a rebound. But that's not always true... Honestly, I had virtually the exact same thing happen to me, she left me because she wasn't over her ex but she still wanted to be friends. After a few days I found out she was trying to get back with her ex and while I was still her friend I gave up on the idea of trying to get back with her, started to move on with my life. Then a few days later they get into a huge fight, she's pretty devastated by it so I was there as a friend and tried to help her through it, not that it was easy for me. I guess this finally made her realize what an ******* her ex is and she started trying to get back with me. I wasn't having any of it after the whole ex thing but after a few days of sincere talking we're back together and while I'm still not 100% convinced that I'm not getting used, some of the things she's said to me and some of the things her friends have told me have been pretty significant... my one friend even told me that I was an idiot if I couldn't tell she was being sincere and wasn't just using me. So while there's no guarantees I'm not just a rebound as I thought I was, things have never been better with us... maybe she just needed some closure. So just see how it goes man, don't expect anything, but I don't see the point of not being her friend unless doing so hurts too much. You can still be there for someone without being their bitch.
Art_Critic Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 You are merely a distraction to this girl. She feels nothing for you and nothing good will come out of this. You will end up more hurt than if you had just maintained No Contact. RUN while you still can or...learn from this experience when it goes wrong (which it will). I agree.. and another thing.. She knows you visit her blog.. ...
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