Zeegagge Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 In a few minutes I take her to the airport and she'll be gone, pretty much forever. We've seen each other every day except a very few for the past 4 years. I'll be in this house completely alone, and she'll be completely gone. I'm really freaking out. I know not having her around will be a good platform from which I can heal, but right now I'm losing my mind. This is so tough! I almost don't even know what to say. I just really need some support right now. Holding back tears in front of her is becoming more difficult by the second. I think I've hit the lowest of the low, or at least I will this afternoon. Anything, Im dieing here.
oneheart Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I don't know your full story but please just feel some love from me...yes a complete stranger but my tough time starts today too..... I'm sad too (teary even now - literally typing on this computer for the last time in what was my office which will become an empty room next time I'm here.... I know the feeling... I can't believe it... We'll get through... somehow!
gaudi Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 In terms of a quick fix by way of holding back the tears, I would suggest the breathing technique whereby you take your breaths and make them last 4 times as long as normal. Take your inhalations deep down into your whole body, and your exhalations should be visualised as blowing out all your negative energy. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Sounds like something a crazy person would say. But it really works. Think it's something to do with getting more oxygen into your lungs. Good luck anyway mate.
LovelyDaze Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 In a few minutes I take her to the airport and she'll be gone, pretty much forever. We've seen each other every day except a very few for the past 4 years. I'll be in this house completely alone, and she'll be completely gone. I'm really freaking out. I know not having her around will be a good platform from which I can heal, but right now I'm losing my mind. This is so tough! I almost don't even know what to say. I just really need some support right now. Holding back tears in front of her is becoming more difficult by the second. I think I've hit the lowest of the low, or at least I will this afternoon. Anything, Im dieing here. Know that you can get over the hurdle. When you come home, allow yourself to feel through any emotions you are experiencing right then and there. If you need to cry, do so. If you need to punch something(beside a person obviously) do so. If you need to scream your lungs out in anger, do it. Give yourself the freedom to mourn and after that, take a few moments to reflect on why you must go NC. The answers will become clear in the quiet of the day. You know what is best. Stick to your gut and not your emotions as far as how you react to her in the future.
Author Zeegagge Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 Thanks guys, I made it through the day somehow and went to a party last night. Celebrated freedom. It felt weird. Driving up to a party alone is something I've rarely done. Got there and realized that I can talk to whoever I want and I can just be myself. Also realized this was the first time in a long time that I've been at a party and not had to keep an eye on her the whole time. She had a tendency to drink too much and then misbehave. Hopefully I can feel like I did last night more and more in the coming days, and then eventually on to being happy and ok with everything thats happened. Still down though.
Vampire Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Step by step. Day by day. Let the emotions do what they need to do; laugh/cry and come out the other side stronger. I'm in a similar situation in that my ex is also taking a plane a few hundred miles away and when she goes, that'll be the end of it. I'll be interested to see how you get on over the coming months pal. Stay strong.
Author Zeegagge Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Thanks Vampire, I'll be interested in your situation as well. As for an update, Im actually doing really well. I am relieved that she's gone, and I knew I would be. I just had to get past the initial shock. Now I can carry on with my life, whatever that may be. My main problem now is just loneliness and boredom. Been hanging out with friends more, helps a little. Still have to come back to my big empty fortress prison every night. If anyone on this forum is in a similar situation, bored and lonely, and just wants to chat hit me up on AIM, Hoopiguy42. I promise Im not creepy or anything, lol, and I make a good AIM buddy.
Recommended Posts