My dating options

January 16, 2010

My dating options currently consist of:

the guy who brought another girl on our 2nd date
a guy from hs who I never talk to, but pops up everyone once in awhile (he's had a crush on me since 8th grade)...last time I saw him was at a wedding 6 months ago; he sent me a FB message the other day and read into the fact that I asked how his gf (date from the wedding) was.
the guy I met at the grocery store when we were both awkwardly waiting for a manager to come unlock a case so we could buy condoms
a friend of a friend who sent me a friend request on FB and messages me every once in awhile for the last year, trying to either go on a date with me or photograph me (he lives 2 hours away and I haven't been interested enough to make the effort)
a state trooper who gave me his card and asked me to call him; he was very nice but I didn't like the fact that I led the entire conversation...he was a great listener though

Sigh. I need to meet more people.

January 16, 2010

Boo hoo. Some girls would kill to be in your shoes. Seems to be your not willing to take a leap of faith and are waiting on a fairy tale.

January 16, 2010

None of them... the fact you've made a list should make you realise you don't actually care for any of them that much!

Go look for someone who will give you stars in your eyes every time you think about him.

I think I'm making the mistake of closing myself off in some key situations.

For example, there's a teacher at the school I volunteer at that I have a huge crush on. I am only there about once a week to volunteer at an extracurricular activity, where I usually see this guy. I know that he's single, because he once had a long discussion about this with someone else in front of me.

But when I have the opportunity to talk to him I feel uncomfortable and a little insecure (he has the home field advantage kind of thing, plus half the time I haven't done my hair or makeup and I'm uncomfortable with what I'm wearing), so I miss all kinds of opportunities to talk to him.

I'm usually so confident!

January 16, 2010

Boo hoo. Some girls would kill to be in your shoes. Seems to be your not willing to take a leap of faith and are waiting on a fairy tale.

I don't believe in fairy tales. I'm just waiting for a guy who meets my very basic, minimum requirements.

January 16, 2010

I don't believe in fairy tales. I'm just waiting for a guy who meets my very basic, minimum requirements.

I mean guys using the buddy system on dates, that is pretty lame. That is not an unreasonable demand. Your other scenarios aren't very clear why you nexted them. Like buying condoms...this is 2010, right?

January 16, 2010

Let's just break this down:

the guy who brought another girl on our 2nd date

Like him, but I'm clearly way more interested in him than he is in me. Would you go out with a girl who brought another guy on a date with you? Somehow, I doubt it. I'd have to be dumb to put all my eggs in that basket.

a guy from hs who I never talk to, but pops up every once in awhile (he's had a crush on me since 8th grade)...last time I saw him was at a wedding 6 months ago; he sent me a FB message the other day and read into the fact that I asked how his gf (date from the wedding) was.

I think after nearly 15 years of knowing someone I know him well enough to know if I'm interested in dating him or not. He's also divorced, and at my age I don't think I need to deal with that baggage, as I can have my pick of guys who haven't already failed at such a huge commitment. That last comment is made with inside knowledge from both parties about why and how the marriage failed.

the guy I met at the grocery store when we were both awkwardly waiting for a manager to come unlock a case so we could buy condoms

Sure I'm going to give him a chance, but so far I'm just "eh" over him.

a friend of a friend who sent me a friend request on FB and messages me every once in awhile for the last year, trying to either go on a date with me or photograph me (he lives 2 hours away and I haven't been interested enough to make the effort)

Long distance relationships take a lot of work. If after a year he hasn't wowed me into wanting to meet him, I'm wary about any kind of attraction, chemistry or relationship with him. Just look at all the people who talk to someone online they haven't met for only two weeks and how head over heels they are! Plus, after a year of talking to me, he's made it clear that he wants to meet me because of how I look...by now there should be more to it than that.

a state trooper who gave me his card and asked me to call him; he was very nice but I didn't like the fact that I led the entire conversation...he was a great listener though

Met him in person twice, and talked to him at length both times. He struck me as immature and insecure. I also wasn't physically attracted to him.

Why should I settle? I'm not desperate.

January 16, 2010

Let's just break this down:

the guy who brought another girl on our 2nd date
Like him, but I'm clearly way more interested in him than he is in me. Would you go out with a girl who brought another guy on a date with you? Somehow, I doubt it. I'd have to be dumb to put all my eggs in that basket.

a guy from hs who I never talk to, but pops up every once in awhile (he's had a crush on me since 8th grade)...last time I saw him was at a wedding 6 months ago; he sent me a FB message the other day and read into the fact that I asked how his gf (date from the wedding) was.
I think after nearly 15 years of knowing someone I know him well enough to know if I'm interested in dating him or not. He's also divorced, and at my age I don't think I need to deal with that baggage, as I can have my pick of guys who haven't already failed at such a huge commitment. That last comment is made with inside knowledge from both parties about why and how the marriage failed.

the guy I met at the grocery store when we were both awkwardly waiting for a manager to come unlock a case so we could buy condoms
Sure I'm going to give him a chance, but so far I'm just "eh" over him.

a friend of a friend who sent me a friend request on FB and messages me every once in awhile for the last year, trying to either go on a date with me or photograph me (he lives 2 hours away and I haven't been interested enough to make the effort)
Long distance relationships take a lot of work. If after a year he hasn't wowed me into wanting to meet him, I'm wary about any kind of attraction, chemistry or relationship with him. Just look at all the people who talk to someone online they haven't met for only two weeks and how head over heels they are! Plus, after a year of talking to me, he's made it clear that he wants to meet me because of how I look...by now there should be more to it than that.

a state trooper who gave me his card and asked me to call him; he was very nice but I didn't like the fact that I led the entire conversation...he was a great listener though
Met him in person twice, and talked to him at length both times. He struck me as immature and insecure. I also wasn't physically attracted to him.

Why should I settle? I'm not desperate.

See I thought this was just your first assessment and that's what it sounded like to me. Like you didn't even go out on one with them. But it sounds like you did your due diligence.

I think you have a good mentality though of not settling. I know a lot of women who are in constant panic mode when they are single and settles for the first OK guy who shows them a bit of attention.

My suggestion: Don't dwell on it. Embrace the power and freedom of being single.

January 16, 2010

Or get more agressive in creating conversation with the teacher...volunteer more than 1 day a week

I second this idea.

January 16, 2010

I usually feel so self-conscious and insecure around the teacher; I think my plan of action needs to be

1. To make an effort with hair/makeup, for my own comfort

2. Keep the convo going when he asks me a personal question

and take it from there. Probably also try to get in from the periphary, ie chat up the other teachers more. It's difficult busting in on a group like that, but they're all nice and there's no reason a confident me couldn't do it.

The other thing that makes me hesitant is that there's another girl who's substitute teaching AND volunteering there that has her sights on him. I hate competition!

January 16, 2010

^ All the more reason to do this quickly!

True!

January 16, 2010

[*]a state trooper who gave me his card and asked me to call him; he was very nice but I didn't like the fact that I led the entire conversation...he was a great listener though

Sigh. I need to meet more people.

Go with the trooper..

You can't go wrong with a guy that has his own pair of handcuffs

January 16, 2010

Go with the trooper..

You can't go wrong with a guy that has his own pair of handcuffs

There is something about a man in uniform...he's such a weenie though! Doesn't go with the uniform at all

January 16, 2010

All of the guys you've listed so far I would say next to.

Go out and meet more guys that actually peaks your interest, rather than because they're available therefore they're there.

And sometimes au natural is sexy. If you're confident enough ( and by the sounds of it you're very confident), you shouldn't worry about hair or makeup.

You probably still look hot with bed hair.

January 16, 2010

All of the guys you've listed so far I would say next to.

Go out and meet more guys that actually peaks your interest, rather than because they're available therefore they're there.

And sometimes au natural is sexy. If you're confident enough ( and by the sounds of it you're very confident), you shouldn't worry about hair or makeup.

You probably still look hot with bed hair.

LoL thanks papercut!

I think everyone's right.

And I definitely need to make some moves with the teacher!

I can't tell if he's interested in the other girl or just being friendly; she's definitely making more of an effort to talk to him.

She's prettier than I am and (IMO) has a more attractive body type (I am very, very thin), but she also comes across as a little needy/desperate.

I heard a conversation between the two of them, and she was just going on and on about how hard it is for her to meet people who want to go out and have fun; she hates just sitting around at a house party and blah blah blah. She was definitely strongly hinting that he should ask her to hang out and/or party. He didn't take the bait, at least not then. That could be because it's a bit of a professional setting.

He is a guy though, so he may interpret things differently than I do.

January 16, 2010

LoL thanks papercut!

I think everyone's right.

And I definitely need to make some moves with the teacher!

I can't tell if he's interested in the other girl or just being friendly; she's definitely making more of an effort to talk to him.

She's prettier than I am and (IMO) has a more attractive body type (I am very, very thin), but she also comes across as a little needy/desperate.

I heard a conversation between the two of them, and she was just going on and on about how hard it is for her to meet people who want to go out and have fun; she hates just sitting around at a house party and blah blah blah. She was definitely strongly hinting that he should ask her to hang out and/or party. He didn't take the bait, at least not then. That could be because it's a bit of a professional setting.

He is a guy though, so he may interpret things differently than I do.

Don't worry about competition. Go with the flow.

As you've said, don't place all your eggs in one basket.

If the teacher is attracted to you, then he will ask you out on his accord.

And you make guys sound so complicated. You should understand by now after hanging on LS, guys are sexual creatures. When they want something, they'll do anything to get it.

January 16, 2010

Don't worry about competition. Go with the flow.

As you've said, don't place all your eggs in one basket.

If the teacher is attracted to you, then he will ask you out on his accord.

And you make guys sound so complicated. You should understand by now after hanging on LS, guys are sexual creatures. When they want something, they'll do anything to get it.

Touche.

Since I don't see him very often I have all kinds of time to wonder about him and overanalyze everything. (Guys & girls: hint, hint! )

I'll try to go with the flow!

January 16, 2010

i vote for condom guy

January 16, 2010

i vote for condom guy

Condom guy is very cute. I haven't interacted with him enough yet to know if there's potential. He's supposed to call me to set up a date though, so we'll see.

I'm also pretty sure that he was only buying condoms because I was. We were in the same aisle, kind of following each around the store for a couple minutes. There was some eye contact and smiling and "excuse mes". I also noticed him checking me out out of the corner of my eye.

Then I went to go get condoms, pushed the button that makes an announcement over the sound system for a manger to assist a customer with birth control or whatever it says, and was standing waiting for a minute. Condom Guy comes over and starts chatting with me, we were joking about the state's attempt at birth control by embarrassing young people into not wanting to buy condoms.

We waited for a manager for nearly 10 minutes; I told the manager what ones I wanted, and Condom Guy asked for the same ones...then we saw each other on our way out of the store and he asked me for my number...

January 16, 2010

I told the manager what ones I wanted, and Condom Guy asked for the same ones......

were they extra large ribbed? if so you should definitely go out w/ him

January 16, 2010

Condom guy is very cute. I haven't interacted with him enough yet to know if there's potential. He's supposed to call me to set up a date though, so we'll see.

I'm also pretty sure that he was only buying condoms because I was. We were in the same aisle, kind of following each around the store for a couple minutes. There was some eye contact and smiling and "excuse mes". I also noticed him checking me out out of the corner of my eye.

Then I went to go get condoms, pushed the button that makes an announcement over the sound system for a manger to assist a customer with birth control or whatever it says, and was standing waiting for a minute. Condom Guy comes over and starts chatting with me, we were joking about the state's attempt at birth control by embarrassing young people into not wanting to buy condoms.

We waited for a manager for nearly 10 minutes; I told the manager what ones I wanted, and Condom Guy asked for the same ones...then we saw each other on our way out of the store and he asked me for my number...

why were you buying condoms? You are not in a relationship

January 16, 2010

Do you have at least a 4-year college degree? If you want to set your sights on a teacher, you need at least that. Teachers value education. I am a teacher and they are all with women who are educated, also.

Also, yes, you do need to look your best if you're walking around the school.

Next, if he's also noticed you and you've intrigued him, he will make a move. If he is asking you questions about yourself, that is a good sign. Follow up with a question showing interest in him and be sure to build him up a little bit about what he does.

I usually feel so self-conscious and insecure around the teacher; I think my plan of action needs to be

1. To make an effort with hair/makeup, for my own comfort
2. Keep the convo going when he asks me a personal question

and take it from there. Probably also try to get in from the periphary, ie chat up the other teachers more. It's difficult busting in on a group like that, but they're all nice and there's no reason a confident me couldn't do it.

The other thing that makes me hesitant is that there's another girl who's substitute teaching AND volunteering there that has her sights on him. I hate competition!

January 16, 2010

were they extra large ribbed? if so you should definitely go out w/ him

why were you buying condoms? You are not in a relationship

LoL yeah, so? I consider having condoms in the house similar to the idea of keeping a fire extinguisher in the house. Even though you may not use it, it's probably a good idea to have one around. Just in case.

I'm like a boy scout, always prepared. Minus the boy part.

Edited January 16, 2010 by OnlyJake

January 16, 2010

LoL yeah, so? I consider having condoms in the house similar to the idea of keeping a fire extinguisher in the house. Even though you may not use it, it's probably a good idea to have one around. Just in case.

I'm like a boy scout, always prepared. Minus the boy part.

Okay, unless I have an actual sex partner I dont bother with condoms or birth control. and besides most men carry them so I really don't have any need to keep any of my own

January 16, 2010

Do you have at least a 4-year college degree? If you want to set your sights on a teacher, you need at least that. Teachers value education. I am a teacher and they are all with women who are educated, also.
Also, yes, you do need to look your best if you're walking around the school.
Next, if he's also noticed you and you've intrigued him, he will make a move. If he is asking you questions about yourself, that is a good sign. Follow up with a question showing interest in him and be sure to build him up a little bit about what he does.

Got the education covered, I have a BA and an MAT

Part of my problem with my appearance at school actually does come down to finding the line between looking good and appropriate, but not "hot." Do you have any tips about that for me?

Good advice Pink Cupcakes!

January 16, 2010

Okay, unless I have an actual sex partner I dont bother with condoms or birth control. and besides most men carry them so I really don't have any need to keep any of my own

As long as that works for you

I'd rather have them, just in case, and I'd also rather not count on the guy having and/or bringing them. He would get lots of points if he did though.

I'd been seeing my last bf for several months before sleeping with him. One night he came over for dinner/drinks and a Guitar Hero party my roommates and I were hosting. When I invited him I didn't know that was the night I was going to sleep with him, but it ended up working out that way. I didn't have any condoms, but he was like oh hey, I got it covered. It was unbelievably sexy. I realize how weird that sounds.

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