Choboto Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 it seems everytime i go to a bar or something and find a lady there, afterwards the girl gets clingy and wants to see you the next day or weekend. I thought it was understood if you meet at a bar and your both tipsy or drunk, its just a fling. i thought that was why people went there to hook up? or am i just unlucky and find the ones who think they can find relationships at a party/bar?
sagetalk Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 A girl wants to be in a relationship with you because you slept with her. Yeah there must be something wrong with her .
Author Choboto Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 A girl wants to be in a relationship with you because you slept with her. Yeah there must be something wrong with her . didnt say there was something wrong with her. I guess i need to be more careful. Just figured people knew what hook ups at bars/parties meant...one night stands. and your funny.Good thing im not a pothead, or i would be offended.
Payden Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 it seems everytime i go to a bar or something and find a lady there, afterwards the girl gets clingy and wants to see you the next day or weekend. Must be nice.
squeaky Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 idk i've met guys in bars who ultimately wanted to pursue relationships. doesn't it really depend on the individuals involved?
Author Choboto Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 idk i've met guys in bars who ultimately wanted to pursue relationships. doesn't it really depend on the individuals involved? i guess. may just be unlucky and choose the wrong ones. Wasnt sure if i was missing some unwritten social rule where you had to text em afterwards or something.
Kamille Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 You seem pretty stringent in your expectation that a bar hookup is nothing more than a fling. Could it not be something more? Is that absolutely out of the question? Why? You obviously dug this person enough to want to spend a night with them? Aren't you curious about what another date could bring? What's the harm in trying to get to know the person a bit more? Are you looking for a relationship? If so, how else and where else do you meet ladies?
and.then.some Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I... don't know any women who go to bars and clubs just to get laid. Most of us don't really need to go through that much trouble just for sex. This doesn't mean that women might not "hook up" with a guy and want nothing more do with him. But you've gotten it all wrong if you seriously believe that's what all of these women are after.
Boundary Problem Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I... don't know any women who go to bars and clubs just to get laid. Most of us don't really need to go through that much trouble just for sex. This doesn't mean that women might not "hook up" with a guy and want nothing more do with him. But you've gotten it all wrong if you seriously believe that's what all of these women are after. sounds like the swinging single lifestyle.
and.then.some Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 sounds like the swinging single lifestyle. LOL, that's not what I mean at all. My point was simply that if a woman really just wants sex with no strings attached there's probably at least one number already in her phone that she could call. The women I know who are into clubs and bars go to meet guys and socialize. They don't go to the clubs just to sleep with a stranger. When I was into the club scene, I wasn't even there looking for a man. While I dated a few guys who I met at clubs (and will never do that again), women don't always go just for the chance to meet someone in some capacity. Sometimes we just want to dance, and maybe flirt. Considering this, if something did happen between the two the first time meeting, I can see very well why many girls wouldn't automatically assume that it was just sex and nothing else. For the most part, it seems that men and women go to clubs and bars for very different reasons.
boogieboy Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 If you just want a drunk fling, then you have to tell the women that you just want a fling when you meet them. They will come to their own expectations if you dont give the expectation to them...you know this, women dont go to bars or flings.
Awesome Username Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Good to know that some people think that this is the standard thought for talking to someone at a bar. Lord, I hope to never find myself in a situation like that.
temple Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 ^ Yeah.. and then other men get mad at us why we're giving them the cold shoulder..lol
tigereyes1428 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 so every woman who meets a guy at a bar is up for it then - grow up you deluded fool - before you fall into bed do you make it clear they mean nothing to you and you have no intention of ever seeing or speaking to them again NO - doubt it cos then they'd see you for the shallow man you are - dont take advantage of people cos one day when you fall for someone the tables will turn - be warned ...karma
OceanTropic Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 How do you know they want a relationship? Maybe the sex was f*cking awesome and they can't wait to do it again.
New_Life08 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 The bar scene doesn't automatically mean a one night stand or short fling. You need to let the ladies know that you are only after a fling....not a relationship. It may blow your action...but at least you'll be honest.
MyNameIsJonas Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 (edited) ^ Yeah.. and then other men get mad at us why we're giving them the cold shoulder..lol Quoted for pure truth. OP, guys like you are the reason that women have problems trusting any man. Has it occurred to you that maybe these women are expecting a relationship is because you probably say anything/everything to get them to come home with you? Normally I would say it would be a shame if you had "real problems," but to be honest, you have one; you just don't know it yet. I have friends who had your same mentality when they were younger, and loved it at the time. However, as the years passed them by and their friends were dating real women and pairing off, they became envious and ended up being miserable. Just consider yourself lucky you haven't crossed the wrong woman and left with a "lifer STD." That happened to a former friend of mine and he INSTANTLY regretted ever adapting your mentality. Think about all of the women who have gotten hurt because they think you are serious and it turns out you aren't. Karma can be pretty rough man. Edited January 17, 2010 by MyNameIsJonas
Author Choboto Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 Quoted for pure truth. OP, guys like you are the reason that women have problems trusting any man. Has it occurred to you that maybe these women are expecting a relationship is because you probably say anything/everything to get them to come home with you? Normally I would say it would be a shame if you had "real problems," but to be honest, you have one; you just don't know it yet. I have friends who had your same mentality when they were younger, and loved it at the time. However, as the years passed them by and their friends were dating real women and pairing off, they became envious and ended up being miserable. Just consider yourself lucky you haven't crossed the wrong woman and left with a "lifer STD." That happened to a former friend of mine and he INSTANTLY regretted ever adapting your mentality. Think about all of the women who have gotten hurt because they think you are serious and it turns out you aren't. Karma can be pretty rough man. i only do the ONS becuase all i ever got from trying to have a legitimate dating experience with a girl was being used. Ive yet to run into a girl that hasnt used me, then dumped me after feelin better. So you can spare the this is why women have trust issues. its a cycle. Its a dog eat dog world. Im not gonna get hurt anymore than i have to until i find a decent girl. And i havnt yet. And most of these girls approach me...i dont say **** to em.
Author Choboto Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 How do you know they want a relationship? Maybe the sex was f*cking awesome and they can't wait to do it again. i thought that until they started wanting to hang out outside of the bedroom after a while.SO now i usually keep it to a one time max.
Author Choboto Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 so every woman who meets a guy at a bar is up for it then - grow up you deluded fool - before you fall into bed do you make it clear they mean nothing to you and you have no intention of ever seeing or speaking to them again NO - doubt it cos then they'd see you for the shallow man you are - dont take advantage of people cos one day when you fall for someone the tables will turn - be warned ...karma if only karma was true...world doesnt always fall back on someones head sweetie
Woggle Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Just ignore them once they want more. Don't take their calls and they should get the hint. Also don't listen to these people telling you that you are wrong for being a player. They are the same women who dump the nice guy who did want something more than just a fling because there was no passion. If women have such a problem with your approach they should stop rewarding it. It's better to be you than some of these other lovesick puppies you see on here. Go ahead and enjoy the fact that you have women wrapped around your finger rather than the other way around.
Johnny M Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 so every woman who meets a guy at a bar is up for it then - grow up you deluded fool - before you fall into bed do you make it clear they mean nothing to you and you have no intention of ever seeing or speaking to them again I think it's pretty unreasonable for a woman to expect a relationship with a guy simply because she has slept with him. Seriously - you had a good time, he had a good time, what's the problem? If something more comes out of it, it's just an extra.
tigereyes1428 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I am not saying that a woman expects a relationship the OP says everytime he picks someone up for sex they never get the hint that that is all he is after - my point is if your open and upfront about what you want BEFORE the deed - surely the woman would then have no reason to "bother" you again????? perhaps i am wrong but i get the impression that the reason the OP is finding it easy to "pick women" up is because he is misleading them for his own pleasure - his post reeks of selfishness to me and i find it hard to believe that any self respecting woman who knows the score BEFORE the deed would still contact him after wards - how does she even have your number?? if it is a sex only deal - why you dishing number out? your giving wrong signals which is unnecessarily cruel and selfish.. you may be good but no one is that good...
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