abe1927 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Hello all, I'm a new member. But I'm impressed with how everyone seems to pitch in and help each other on this site. Anyway . . . Like many folks here, I'm in a bad marriage. It should probably end. I would like to meet a soulmate, but there are 2 things in my situation that worry me: 1. I've been divorced twice already. 2. I'm 54 yrs old. Financially I'm OK - not rich - but I wonder if the above things are such a turnoff that I wouldn't have hope of ever meeting someone else. And maybe I should stay put. Any input? Thanks all.
Gunny376 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 OK? I'm a little lost, dazed and confussed by your post? Maybe even running around with my hands in the air, screaming and shouting in a circle? "OMG! OMG! I've been married and divorced TWICE ! And now I'm in another failed marriage! And OMG! I'm 52! I guess I didn't get the memo from the home office that life begin and ended at 52? That if you've been married and divorced twice, and your third marriage is on the rocks? Its over! Nope, back checked the e-files, and there's definitely not any memo there? WTF? I check my back e-mails and there's nothing there? WTF? Checked the FAX, and still there's nothing there about you've got to suck it up! Your happy @zz is fifty-two, you've been married twice, your on your third one ~ and By God! Your just going to have to suck it up and deal with it! There's no divorce for you! Your just going to have to suck it up and deal with it, or fill out DD-245-A form in triplicate to request a new life! And it has to be typewritten and not in script. One word misspelled, and its going to get sent back to you for corrections? Life is for living! Get busy living! Or get your happy @zz busy dying! Hundreds of thousands of American boys and girls are putting their happy @zz on the line every single day so that you can do so! Watch the Discovery Channel about what it takes to become a basic Marine, a Green Beret, (just what it takes to qualifies to go through the training to begin the training to become) a Green Beret or Navy Seal or a Army Ranger. Mountain warfare, winter warfare, jungle warfare, desert warfare. a Marine/Air Force/ Navy fighter pilot. My point to the original poster? I didn't do my 20 in the Corps for you to be un-happy! I'll help you the best I can with your situation! I know a lot of stuff about well,..................a lot of stuff. Yes I can fix toasters!
marlena Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Gunny, That was a hilarious! Allow me to translate as the poster is new and may not be accustomed to your style which is inimitable and often deliciously to the point. OP, what Gunny is saying is that it is never too late to start over again. Better that than to trash your life by staying in an unhappy situation. Am I right, Gunny? Anyway, I do agree with Gunny but just wanted to add that if you go for it, know that you may never again find someone to love and be happy with together. However, happiness (transient emotion) or a sense of well-being (more permanent) as I'd rather call it can come from various sources and not just through connecting romantically with another individual. If you think that you can live well if you live alone, then, I say go for it. If, however, your happiness depends on others, then, I would tell you to rethink this. Personally, I know that I am better off alone than in a bad relationship/marriage. Much better. But then again, I don't heavily rely on others to provide me with a good and rewarding life. That I do on my own. Can you?
Gunny376 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 WTF! Did twenyty years in the Corps "brain warp" me that much? And yes, my co-workers look at me as such! Being married is like playing five card stud poker, when the dealer says everything is "wild" and totally screws up the entire game? Its Aces wild! I've always been crazy ~ but its kept me from going insane! Actually I'm in a good place right now ~ not quite there? But I'm at peace with myself and with life! Its taken a long time getting here! And its a good place to be! I caught the bus to Mexico, (Shawshank Redeimition) and I'm living in Marguartiaville. Damn! I screwed up and didn't something right!
Gunny376 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Gunny, That was a hilarious! Allow me to translate as the poster is new and may not be accustomed to your style which is inimitable and often deliciously to the point. OP, what Gunny is saying is that it is never too late to start over again. Better that than to trash your life by staying in an unhappy situation. Am I right, Gunny? Anyway, I do agree with Gunny but just wanted to add that if you go for it, know that you may never again find someone to love and be happy with together. However, happiness (transient emotion) or a sense of well-being (more permanent) as I'd rather call it can come from various sources and not just through connecting romantically with another individual. If you think that you can live well if you live alone, then, I say go for it. If, however, your happiness depends on others, then, I would tell you to rethink this. Personally, I know that I am better off alone than in a bad relationship/marriage. Much better. But then again, I don't heavily rely on others to provide me with a good and rewarding life. That I do on my own. Can you? LOL! Yea! Marlena! I always need explpaining to the la~la civilian groups! Break it down to them!
LisaUk Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Hello all, I'm a new member. But I'm impressed with how everyone seems to pitch in and help each other on this site. Anyway . . . Like many folks here, I'm in a bad marriage. It should probably end. I would like to meet a soulmate,There is no such thing, a relationship is what you make it, no on eis 100% perfect, this is the reason for a lot of divorces IMO, Hollywood perception. but there are 2 things in my situation that worry me: 1. I've been divorced twice already.This will sound harsh, but what did you learn from your first two divorces? Did you learn that there is no one perfect, that realtionships take work? It doesn't sound like it from the soulmate quote above. 2. I'm 54 yrs old. Financially I'm OK - not rich - but I wonder if the above things are such a turnoff that I wouldn't have hope of ever meeting someone else. And maybe I should stay put.Is it really a decision based on whether you will find someone better? Seriously ? Do you not remember why you married this women in the first place? My advice, seek MC, seek IC and do all you can to work this out before you quit. Any input? Thanks all. ..........
HappyAgain Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Hell no, you're never too old to start again. I divorced at 40, reinvented myself by becoming the person I truly wanted to be and not the person my xH wanted me to be. Guess what, I have an awesome job now that I truly love because I didn't take the job my ex would have wanted me to take, I'm with someone who respects me - my looks and my brain - and he's years younger, I'm traveling the world after having spent my whole life in two cities, I'm financially okay, I bought my own car after getting my license at 40. Looking back, would I ever wish to have stayed where I was with my xH? Never!
hopesndreams Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Lisa, you nailed it. How can anyone give the advice of yes, throw away a "bad" marriage without hearing any of the details? Where is OP? hmmmm
hopesndreams Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Gunny, That was a hilarious! Allow me to translate as the poster is new and may not be accustomed to your style which is inimitable and often deliciously to the point. OP, what Gunny is saying is that it is never too late to start over again. Better that than to trash your life by staying in an unhappy situation. Am I right, Gunny? Anyway, I do agree with Gunny but just wanted to add that if you go for it, know that you may never again find someone to love and be happy with together. However, happiness (transient emotion) or a sense of well-being (more permanent) as I'd rather call it can come from various sources and not just through connecting romantically with another individual. If you think that you can live well if you live alone, then, I say go for it. If, however, your happiness depends on others, then, I would tell you to rethink this. Personally, I know that I am better off alone than in a bad relationship/marriage. Much better. But then again, I don't heavily rely on others to provide me with a good and rewarding life. That I do on my own. Can you? OP is looking for the greener grass.
Gunny376 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Personally, I know that I am better off alone than in a bad relationship/marriage. Much better. But then again, I don't heavily rely on others to provide me with a good and rewarding life. That I do on my own. Can you? THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! ALL DAY STRONG!
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