sweetbaby23 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 We were together for 4 years before breaking up. It ended when I felt lke he didn't love me anymore. i always felt like i was always last priority. especially after i tried so hard to make everything work and to be a good girlfriend. then one day when i saw that he didnt care anymore, i realized i deserved better. and we ended everything. i loved him so much. he was my first love and my first real boyfriend. i completely opened up to him and we spent 4 years of our lives together. even living together at some point. i loved him like there was no end, i really let myself go with him only to have my heart broken. 1 1/2 years after we broke up he tells me he realizes hes messed up. remind you that this is the first time hes ever apologized in 4 years. it always seemed like id get upset over everything and he would just make it seem like i was overreacting and i would end up apologizing to him. ... so he said he's sorry. and that he thinks about it every night why i dont call him. and is it because our relationship was so bad that i was able to just move on. i told him maybe its just right now he misses me. he probably just misses having someone. not me. and he said he thinks about it every night and knows that he misses me. and says people dont know him like i do. he says he realizes how lazy he was when he never offered to help while i made dinner. and how i made dinner every night for him and he only made me dinner once in the 4 years we were together. he said he should have done more. and says now he has more time because hes finished with college now. i loved him so much. and this is everything i wish he would have said to my a long time ago. i needed to know that he loved me and he never proved it to me. then he finally said all of this and its been what ive been waiting to hear for so long. but im scared... i feel like i was so strong. and i burried it so deep. just layer and layers. and im afraid. i loved him so much. i know how much i can love him and i know how much he can break my heart because iknow how much i would/could/want to give to him. but im so afraid. i dont want things to go back to how they were. i dont want him to pay attention to me for 8 dates and then go back to the way he was. unappreciating me and not loving me. but i know what we had was different and that i had never loved someone so much. i saw my whole life and future with him. should i give it another chance? or do u think i should spare myself and not bother?
CaliGuy Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 should i give it another chance? or do u think i should spare myself and not bother? What makes you think it will work this time? Has anything really changed? Has he changed and matured? These are questions you won't be able to answer without spending time together WITHOUT being a couple so you can gauge his behavior. Side note: ALL men are on their best behavior the first 6 months of a relationship. After that, they pretty much settle down into who they are. If he stays on course after 6 months, odds are good that it will last. BUT, if the red flag start showing up, pay attention. Relationships don't improve after marriage, by the way. So if it's bad now, it will get much worse after you get married. Not saying you are going to get married but you need to pay attention to red flags (such as bad things he did while you were together). Got me?
t0ri Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Side note: ALL men are on their best behavior the first 6 months of a relationship. After that, they pretty much settle down into who they are. If he stays on course after 6 months, odds are good that it will last. Got me? Seriously? My ex did not show his true colors till after a year of dating, and my current boyfriend? Not on his best behavior although I'm his "first serious relationship" after 2 months of dating, 3 months of hooking up/knowing each other.
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