Guys, why do girls need to cruelly tell you to go away before you'll back off?

[confusedmuch]

How on earth do you figure that these actions are appropriate?

 

And what makes you any better than those you are trying to evade?

 

Oh come on SincereOnlineGuy, you can't honestly say you haven't simply ignored girl's calls and texts when you lost interest?

[You'reasian]

Lately it seems like I've been running into some reverse troubles with guys. They won't leave me alone! And some that left me alone a while ago are now suddenly contacting me again wanting to pick up where they left off...

 

I've tried doing what it seems a lot of guys like to do (or should I say boys?) which is ignore calls, IMs and emails and hope that they get the hint and move on to someone else. That only spurred their interest when I did it.

 

I've tried nicely telling some that it just couldn't be. To which they would try and convince me that it somehow CAN be.

 

Finally, today I tried another method and told this guy (who I've used both of the above methods with already over the last month) to LEAVE ME ALONE! And finally he got the point.

 

Is it really that necessary to be such a bitch though?

 

What kinds of signals do you put out?

 

If you put out friendly, flirty signals - guys are going to pick up on it and swoop in.

 

Sometimes guys think that persistency pays off. Be upfront from the start. No BS - be decisive and shoot straight; tell the guy that you think he's cool but you're not interested in him at all.

[counterman]

Yep, I agree. No bull**** at all. Just be straight with it then when it's done put what you said out of your mind and breathe a sigh of relief. Some guys would continue if they picked up on what potentially could be a slight bit of interest.

[confusedmuch]

Yep, I agree. No bull**** at all. Just be straight with it then when it's done put what you said out of your mind and breathe a sigh of relief. Some guys would continue if they picked up on what potentially could be a slight bit of interest.

 

Yeah, I guess I had been being a little timid in that area. Like if they would text me and ask me questions and I'd just go ahead and answer and ask how they were and so on.

[Quickill]

I cannot resist:

 

Men don't speak hint and also, don't hear too well!

 

 

Why yes, I did just get my hair cut. Thanks for noticing!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

How on earth do you figure that these actions are appropriate?

 

And what makes you any better than those you are trying to evade?

 

 

 

Nuf said

 

 

(just adding more characters)

[deux ex machina]

Lately it seems like I've been running into some reverse troubles with guys. They won't leave me alone! And some that left me alone a while ago are now suddenly contacting me again wanting to pick up where they left off...

 

I've tried doing what it seems a lot of guys like to do (or should I say boys?) which is ignore calls, IMs and emails and hope that they get the hint and move on to someone else. That only spurred their interest when I did it.

 

I've tried nicely telling some that it just couldn't be. To which they would try and convince me that it somehow CAN be.

 

Finally, today I tried another method and told this guy (who I've used both of the above methods with already over the last month) to LEAVE ME ALONE! And finally he got the point.

 

Is it really that necessary to be such a bitch though?

 

I know what you mean. It's never fun. You just have to be assertive and clear.

 

If he doesn't understand for one reason or another, turn into a broken record, "I am not interested...I am not interested..."

 

Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

You owe him absolutely no explanation. If he keeps it up after many attempts at being polite but firm - realize he's being disrespectful, and respond in kind. Pretty rare it gets to that point, though.

[TheBigQuestion]

I think determining whether or not this type of behavior is wrong has a lot to do with the context of what your relationship with the guy is. In my case (the one that had me seething for a very long time), a girl was seeing me consistently for about a month and a half straight and then started getting extremely flaky, was completely vague and non-confrontational, and it was a complete mind**** until I had to literally drag the words out of her mouth. This type of behavior is completely cowardly. If, on the other hand, there's a guy who is chasing you around who you haven't been involved with and he doesn't get the hint, I could see that as more understandable. But either way, you should be as straightforward as possible. No lies, no BS, the complete truth, delivered in a timely manner. It's how I've always dealt with women who liked me but whom I wasn't into, and they always appreciated my honesty even if they were upset about it. If I can do it, so can you. Don't be a coward, don't lead anyone on (whether purposely or accidentally), and if you do somehow end up doing that, say something before you do more damage.

[O'Malley]

 

Girls like you are too chicken to tell guys that youre not interested, for your own guilt, trying to let guys down gently, and you make your words sound like youre leaving the door open. Its your own fault.

 

You cant worry about seeming like a bitch to a guy that you will never see again.

 

Brief rejections should be applied in circumstances involving dense or confused, but normal minded men. However it is not the best response in some encounters that women have found themselves in.

 

An overly aggressive, intoxicated, or otherwise physically intimidating male, who is setting off a woman's 'danger' vibes, is not someone to be placated with, "I'm not interested in you.". Seeming like a bitch to such an individual may result in far worse than the woman being called names and in those circumstances she should say/do what she feels will protect her. Pulling out an imaginary boyfriend or accepting the guy's number (and tossing it in the trash) are far preferable to a potential attack/assault.

Edited January 18, 2010 by O'Malley