BTLC23 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 My ex gf broke up with me last June. We had been together for three years, lived together 1.5, and been long distance for about one year. Even though we were long distance we saw each other every weekend. There are many reasons why I believe we broke up, but mainly I believe it was I became extremely weak and needy because I could not handle the distance. She claimed it was because I didn't treat her right, which is true but things were much worse in the past, but our love was strong because I felt she was strongly attracted to me. At the end she wouldn't even kiss me on the lips. The last time we had sex she said no kissing and turn music on. We used to wake up in the middle of the night and have passionate sex, many times a week. Also, I stopped trying to please her sexually as well, I just became very selfish. She saw pics of my hanging out with other girls two days after she tried to break up with me the first time. She exploded and would not talk to me on the phone. We were broken up, but I thought we would reconcile. I never gave her time to think, even when she asked forcing her decision. She broke up with me finally through text, and would refuse to talk to me. I know thats very cold, but I think it was because it was to hard to do, but still wrong. She contacted me for a few days and I did too, then I went NC, I occasionally contacted her basically begging her to come back. Then After two months of very limited contact I went full NC. She wished me a happy birthday in September. Since then I decided I was strong enough to want to talk to her and get some closure, but now she is ignoring me. She won't answer me at all. I don't know if she is mad that I didn't chase her or what. Recently, I saw that she was dating someone else. Later, I found out that she had been seeing this guy since September maybe before. I guess thats her rebound relationship, maybe thats why she wont talk to me. I sent her a letter in late november, and it was still in her inbox 2 months later read. I need some opinions, obviously I gotta move on but why won't she talk to me.
paleblue Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 you want an opinion? move on. she has, and that is why she is not talking to you. she is with someone else. there is no need for you to get any further "closure" you have all the closure you need already. the shows over.
HLP234 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 I'm not sure what you did to treat her bad...that depends. But she broke up with you through a text and doesn't want anything to do with you which is why she won't talk to you. You are making yourself seem needy by just begging her to talk to you or take you back. My ex left me without even breaking up, she just moved on, never said anything..there is no closure, just don't talk to her and forget it. There is nothing else to do but move on by trying to get over it as hard as you can.
dazzle22 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Long distance relationships are torture. Because the person is not with you in real time, so many things happen, and you can't read them properly because so much happens over the phone, by email and text where the nuances of what is really going on is missed. Who can know given this? Distance probably made her seek out someone near, and she drifted away from you. I think the main lesson here is avoid LDR's like the PLAGUE.
Author BTLC23 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I agree that LDR are hard. But, we were two hours away and would rotate traveling to each others house every weekend. So we would see each other fri sat sun every weekend. Weird thing is she would talk to me for the first two months after we broke up, only when I initiated it. At the end I actually smothered her I went from calling her twice a week to three times a day. She said that I never gave her the chance for her to miss me. I think she might be mad that I never tried to get her back. I went from begging her to stay with me right after we broke up to NC, definitely a mistake. If there was a problem with communication then No Contact doesn't help.
dazzle22 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Your story is not that simple. Given her coldness, not wanting to kiss you, etc would lead me to believe the other guy was in the wings long before you broke up..
HLP234 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Long distance relationships are really tough. My relationship with my ex started out as a long distance one then only continued about a week once she moved to where I live. I think it made us miss each other so much, we would visit on weekends and talk on the phone or online every single day. But I guess it had something to do with beginning Long distance and then once she moved here, it wasn't the same. Once she was here, something changed I dunno what that made her become really selfish, then she left. I would not do a LDR again, its too much to stress over, especially if the other person is insecure and worries that you may be doing things behind their back.
Author BTLC23 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 Yea, it may seem like that and thats totally possible that he was in the picture before we broke up. But, like everyone on here says "not my gf" I doubt that he was because she is a nut and even though people can justify anthing, I feel that she would have a hard time doing that. She comes from a divorced family like myself, so shes nuts about cheating and stuff like that, so I couldn't see her doing that. I think that when we broke up last year her grandparents wanted her to go out with this guy and they may have went out once or twice, before we got back together. Its possible she was thinking of him as a possible suitor when she was thinking of breaking up with me or maybe she met him again after we broke up who knows, not me. If that was the truth I would never ever want her back. I think she was so cold and didn't want to kiss me because I was acting so needy and had told her some things that lost her trust in me.
Author BTLC23 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 As ****ed up it sounds yes. A week ago tonight, I answered her secret questions and changed her password. Then I went into her FB because I sent her a message that I wanted to delete. I forget that she had an iPhone and got all her emails on there. I know all you are gonna crucify me for this, but put yourself in my shoes. There was a an email for September 1st that asked her grandpa if he wanted her to bring (guys name) over. She must have been comfortable enough with him to bring him there but her grandparents already knew him. This is getting really bad I'm starting to think she might have been. I didn't see any emails before that about him, maybe they met one day at the restaurant after we broke up because her grandparents go their a lot. This is why you can't do things like this because you find out things you don't wanna know.
HLP234 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 You should of not have hacked her email. My ex probably still knows my passwords and such and I know some of hers too but I don't care about looking into her stuff because that is just wrong. Besides, she would not put anything on there if she knows I know her stuff. I would not worry about the messages you sent, just ignore it..she is not likely to care about it anyway.
adamt Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 LDR are very tough and both people have to be 100% commited. if one person is having doubts it becomes a chore to put the effort in. you have to be very trusting with each other. your social life can suffer and you have to plan things in advance all the time. very easy to be distracted by someone else nearby. dont blame yourself too much sometimes a LDR just runs it's natural course and both people are going in different directions. easier for things to happen without the other person realising or noticing. easier to grow apart in LDR.
seibert253 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Dude, you are a borderline stalker. MOVE ON!!!!! She has, it's time for you to do the same.
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