Will I be destined to be alone if I don't accept short men?

January 16, 2010

Yeah but it seems like your social value goes up when you go out with friends and you get hit on the most or just as much as they do and get many guys trying to dance with you. If you are the friend that doesn't get as many guys looking or hit on you, you get a stigma and your friends think less of you. Ive been around girls who take a lot of pride in being the type of girl that has a lot of guys vying for their attention; they even think of it as a positive quality.

Ok well based on what you've said so far to this point, I think your problems go more deep than some minor cosmetic surgery. Have you been to Counseling at all?

You're just not in the right frame of mind. Your values are screwed up. This is not a healthy perspective. You are too worried about what "other" people are getting or doing.

Why does that matter? They aren't YOU and never will be. If you continue comparing yourself to other women you are simply going to destroy yourself mentally.

And to be honest, I think you're well on your way, which is why I suggested Counseling. Your trouble finding the right guy has much more to do with your inner self issues -- and that has become very apparent in this thread.

January 16, 2010

Most of the guys on here do have problems with women but it's not because of their height, although they'd like to believe that's the reason since it's something they can't change. It's far easier to blame the problems on external sources, since to accept and want to change the problems within, isn't something they're willing to do. Same goes for the OP.

I'd even go so far as to say 99% of the problems men have complained about on this site could be fixed by building healthy self confidence.

Not changing their physical appearance, not crazy women, not their social status or even income.

Fix yourself inside and the perceived external problems will be minimized.

January 16, 2010

i have not read everyones answers as there are so many - but i felt compelled to say what i thought - personally i feel that by having such a requirement and saying you are just not attracted to short men seems very shallow and implies that your not ready for a serious relationship - yes you have to find someone attractive but surely a persons personality could win your heart regardless of height???

we all have an ideal of what we want in a partner etc but to say its a dealbreaker if your not a certain heights suggests your not in touch with reality - how can you judge against someone for something they have no control over - if your struggling to meet someone perhaps it is because its apparant that your far too judgemental and shallow - why exactly is the height an issue? are you tall and just dont want to "look" taller than your partner? i mean i am confused

ps. we are all the same lying down :-) sorry could not resist the wee joke...lol

January 16, 2010

i have not read everyones answers as there are so many - but i felt compelled to say what i thought - personally i feel that by having such a requirement and saying you are just not attracted to short men seems very shallow and implies that your not ready for a serious relationship - yes you have to find someone attractive but surely a persons personality could win your heart regardless of height???
we all have an ideal of what we want in a partner etc but to say its a dealbreaker if your not a certain heights suggests your not in touch with reality - how can you judge against someone for something they have no control over - if your struggling to meet someone perhaps it is because its apparant that your far too judgemental and shallow - why exactly is the height an issue? are you tall and just dont want to "look" taller than your partner? i mean i am confused
ps. we are all the same lying down :-) sorry could not resist the wee joke...lol

You are one of the very few girls in touch with reality. The OP and most women are not.

January 16, 2010

i have not read everyones answers as there are so many - but i felt compelled to say what i thought - personally i feel that by having such a requirement and saying you are just not attracted to short men seems very shallow and implies that your not ready for a serious relationship - yes you have to find someone attractive but surely a persons personality could win your heart regardless of height???
we all have an ideal of what we want in a partner etc but to say its a dealbreaker if your not a certain heights suggests your not in touch with reality - how can you judge against someone for something they have no control over - if your struggling to meet someone perhaps it is because its apparant that your far too judgemental and shallow - why exactly is the height an issue? are you tall and just dont want to "look" taller than your partner? i mean i am confused
ps. we are all the same lying down :-) sorry could not resist the wee joke...lol

Well, it may be shallow but I cant help that I dont really dig short guys. I just remember dating a short guy and having friends laugh about us behind our back & say mean things. Since that happened it has really encouraged me to avoid them even more. Over the summer, there was a guy who wasn't tall interested in me, I gave him my number but never picked up the phone when he called. Eventually he got the message and stopped calling me completely. He was fine but if he were taller I would have went out with him. I just dont want to go down that road again of being with someone who is short and always longing for a guy who is taller. But then I feel like if I keep doing this I may be alone. I don't know what to do. I can't force myself to like them. But if that is all there is out there I may have to settle and try to be happy

January 16, 2010

I don't think you would be unhappy with a short man, but I do understand where you're coming from. I'm 5'10 and feel very comfortable and attracted to men taller than I am, and it seems that I can't seem to find one.

Would I date a short guy? I have before, and I was extremely uncomfortable. Shallow? No, but I am insecure about being tall, and dating a shorter man only reinforces that insecurity.

Out of curiosity, how tall are you?

Edited January 16, 2010 by OceanTropic

January 16, 2010

Okay, am I totally off-base on this, or are short women more obsessed about height than tall women? I don't think I've ever heard one of the taller girls I've known carry on about a guy's height the way that short girls seem apt to.

That said, I'm half wondering whether the OP is a troll - it just reads too much like a squarely-aimed rhetorical kick to the nuts of all the self-loathing manlets around here.

January 16, 2010

op... can i assume that one of the main factors in your decision to not be attracted to short men ( and it is a decision and a conscious one at that) related directly to you being teased by friends and embarrassed about it - do you often feel a need to "fit" a certain idea of something or a certain image that you think is admirable/enviable. do you feel insecure and not good enough in other ways?

also to take someones number and not answer them or have the decency to explain why you dont want to see them again is cruel and immature - be very careful how you treat people as your mr tall man may come sweep you off your feet and end up treating you with the same content that you have shown others.. KArma

January 16, 2010

Well, it may be shallow but I cant help that I dont really dig short guys. I just remember dating a short guy and having friends laugh about us behind our back & say mean things.

a. Those aren't REAL friends.

b. If you really liked the guy, who cares what OTHER people think? You don't need their approval.

Since that happened it has really encouraged me to avoid them even more.

That's because you want other people to admire/like/be impressed by, etc the people you are dating. This is one of the reasons why you fail at relationships.

Over the summer, there was a guy who wasn't tall interested in me, I gave him my number but never picked up the phone when he called. Eventually he got the message and stopped calling me completely. He was fine but if he were taller I would have went out with him. I just dont want to go down that road again of being with someone who is short and always longing for a guy who is taller. But then I feel like if I keep doing this I may be alone.

Because your focus is on the WRONG things, because you care what other people think about who you date, because your focus is on impressing/pleasing your family/friends, you will always fail at finding the right guy. You will never be satisfied unless he's perfect in every way and well, there is nobody on this planet who is perfect.

I don't know what to do. I can't force myself to like them. But if that is all there is out there I may have to settle and try to be happy

I told you what you need to do. Fix yourself internally first. The rest will come easy.

January 17, 2010

1: Yeah but it seems like your social value goes up when you go out with friends and you get hit on the most or just as much as they do and get many guys trying to dance with you.

2: If you are the friend that doesn't get as many guys looking or hit on you, you get a stigma and your friends think less of you.

3: Ive been around girls who take a lot of pride in being the type of girl that has a lot of guys vying for their attention; they even think of it as a positive quality.

4:...I just remember dating a short guy and having friends laugh about us behind our back & say mean things. Since that happened it has really encouraged me to avoid them even more.

Ah ha! It has all become clear now. This is nothing to do with you not being attracted to short guys at all. This is to do with your friends dictating who they think you should be with, which will not make them as a group look bad.

1: You are so insecure and hanging out with a gang of 'mean girls' who are each trying to compete for male attention, like that is the most important thing in the world. There are probably one if not more in this group who will subtly and constantly put you down to raise their own value within the group (but in the nicest way of course...trying to 'help' you while simultaneously making sure that you don't do anything outside of their rules).

If you want a decent guy who YOU like and not the kind of guy your friends think you should be into, ditch your friends, not the guy.

I repeat ditch your bitchy, controlling, bunch of moronic friends instead of dumping a guy only because your friends decided to embarrass you over him.

Your friends are not doing you any favours, are not helping you, are further diminishing your self-esteem and have made dating into a competitive sport.

2: You said: 'your friends think less of you'. F**k them, it's your life, so you are allowing your friends to dictate who you should date? Be attracted to? Who you are allowed to be seen with?

How old are you? Please say you're still in high-school, otherwise you are in some weird, freaky, forever bitchy high-school Groundhog Day scenario and you need to get out of it.

Ask yourself this. Who would you go out with, who would you like, who would you give a chance to if your 'friends' didn't have any say in it, if they didn't exist? Those are the men to gravitate towards now and to hell with what your friends think. They have far too much influence over you.

3: Because they are so insecure they need constant male validation that they are 'hot'. No quiet confidence going on here. That level of attention-seeking insecurity is not a positive quality and believe me, these girls will screw you over to be the girl with the most attention from guys. These girls will ruin your dating life so long as you allow them to.

4: Again, you are not anti-shorter men...you only are because your friends won't allow you.

This is total sheep mentality, following the herd even when it's to your own detriment. Snap out of it.

Could it be that they were jealous you were with a guy full stop? That labelling him as short and embarrassing you about him was a way of destroying a budding relationship because that's what girls like this do, because they're b***hes and they can?

And if that's not the reason...who you date, who you are attracted to is none of their damn business.

What happens when you meet the next guy? Say he's tall, he's athletic, he's perfect in every way, you really, really like him....but he's got a slightly high-pitched voice. What do you do when your friends constantly tease you about his voice, make your life a misery because of his voice, embarrass you because of his voice...are you going to keep dumping every guy that you like because you're emotionally blackmailed into doing so by your friends?

My point is, these girls will always find something wrong with whatever guy you like due to female bitchiness, female competitiveness and because you're obviously much lower down the pecking order and they like the fact that they can prevent you from having free will and it makes them feel better - and God forbid that you get male attention and they don't, so they'll pick a flaw, even if it doesn't exist until you crumble under the pressure and do what they want.

Next time how about saying 'I don't care what you guys think, I like him anyway' repeat as necessary, no further discussion. Stick to your guns. Will you lose your friends over that? Will the be embarrassed to be seen by you? Will they dump you as a friend? Not really my definition of friendship if they are holding that as a threat above your head.

If you quietly and confidently stick to your guns about whatever guy you like, but they don't want you to be with, they will eventually move onto a new target and in fact you might gain some respect from them for not following the herd. If they throw a hissy fit and no longer talk to you, consider that they have done you a massive favour. No young woman needs female 'friends' like this in their life.

January 17, 2010

Caliguy I don't think you realize how f-ed up women are these days. My threads are coming more to light every single day I log into LS.

You won't be able to save her. That what american women are like these days. I've already accepted that 90% of women are like MJ and my dating market is extremely small.

January 17, 2010

Caliguy I don't think you realize how f-ed up women are these days. My threads are coming more to light every single day I log into LS.

You won't be able to save her. That what american women are like these days. I've already accepted that 90% of women are like MJ and my dating market is extremely small.

Oh I think I do. However, I'm hoping that she reads my posts objectively so that it helps open her eyes a tad.

People always stress trying to attain something when they are not quite fit/ready.

What she's saying is "I'm not perfect inside or out, but I'll fix the outside and get a perfect guy anyway..."

Not gonna happen.

Yes, women are screwed up these days but so are men. We have our issues as well and hey, if that means I am single for the rest of the my life so be it.

Better to be single and lonely than married and miserable....

January 17, 2010

No, it's just that I meet a hell of a lot more women like "Miss Jones" in the real world than I do women who really don't care how tall a guy is. Even the ones I know in real life who claim they dont care how tall a guy is, when you bump into their boyfriend it's always a tall guy anyway

Do I need to tell you how women are constantly lying to themselves and tricking themselves into believing stuff...they don't actually act on. I will never get it myself.

Why are you speaking from a first person perspective when thebrokenmuse directed her question to "OpenGL"...?

Same person, hmm???

January 17, 2010

Why are you speaking from a first person perspective when thebrokenmuse directed her question to "OpenGL"...?

Same person, hmm???

Not at all, you can see my posting history dates back quite awhile.

January 17, 2010

Anyway, back on topic.

OP: I'm 5'9 as well and neverrrrr thought I would date someone shorter than me...until it happened. We met at a party, he persisted that night and the rest is history. We dated for a while and are still excellent friends to this day (he's 5'7" btw).

Moral of the story: Never say never! Have your preferences but keep an open mind .There are awesome people out there of all shapes and sizes.

January 17, 2010

Not at all, you can see my posting history dates back quite awhile.

So does Cognac's - 2 months before yours to be exact. Interesting...Cognac posts about how women suck and short men are hopeless, finds little to no support for his theories among LSers and so creates OpenGl to be his forum sidekick...hmmmmm Verrry interesting

January 17, 2010

It's not that 100% of women don't want to date a guy whose 5'7, it's that the women who are willing to do it are either obese, very ugly, or have some other huge flaw like a bad drug problem.

Or they're pathological liars, don't forget that one. All of the women on this forum (myself included) that have dated men 5'7" or less are just liars. Unless the 5'6" guy I was involved with for a year was lying about his height. I hadn't thought about that. Do you think he was actually 6 feet tall and I just didn't notice? Damn.

January 17, 2010

So does Cognac's - 2 months before yours to be exact. Interesting...Cognac posts about how women suck and short men are hopeless, finds little to no support for his theories among LSers and so creates OpenGl to be his forum sidekick...hmmmmm Verrry interesting

Well look at our posting history, ours is nothing alike.

January 17, 2010

Most of the guys on here do have problems with women but it's not because of their height, although they'd like to believe that's the reason since it's something they can't change. It's far easier to blame the problems on external sources, since to accept and want to change the problems within, isn't something they're willing to do. Same goes for the OP.

I agree with this 100%.

In addition, I find it very irritating that women who say they don't care about height are being called liars

I know that while I definitely have specific standards height isn't one of them.

January 17, 2010

I just don't get those butterflies in my stomach like when a tall, well built man enters the room or asks me out.

If this happens, why is there a question of you ending up alone in the first place?

Either you just stuck your foot in your mouth, or these guys can't stand you once they get to know you and drop you like a bad habit.

January 17, 2010

I agree with some of the posts here. You do have to sort some inner issues regarding yourself first. These insecurities will hinder you in dating and even if you land the guy you want, you'll lose him later on due to your deeper issues.

January 18, 2010

Bumping to show how pathetic women really are.

January 18, 2010

Short men suck.

January 18, 2010

Isn't it an amazing coincidence that the only honest woman on all of loveshack just happens offer the opinion that validates your own. It couldn't be confirmation bias or anything, oh no, it's that everyone in the entire world MUST SHARE YOUR VIEWS or they are liars. Do I need to even tell you how arrogant and utterly stupid that sounds?

Dead. On. :lmao:

January 18, 2010

I'd like to note that James Dean was 5'7". Arguably one of the coolest guys ever.

Too bad he died so young.

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