ashpur7 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I am aspiring to be a counselor, specifically a school aged counselor but I think my Psychology training to this point can make me intimidating to some people. I am fairly open minded as to theory and practice but I think that some of the time a person might be worried about you psychoanalyzing them. I have noticed with all of relationships that the person has had some kind of issue and that makes them seem more attractive to me. When I realize I can't fix them or change what makes me and sometimes them unhappy it factors into the reasons I have for breaking up with them, besides the obvious cheating which is a no brainer. I think that being aware of the fact that the person I am with now has issues and that other than some small things he is beyond help lol from the get go it makes me feel more secure in the relationship and that I will be more likely to stay with him for the long term. My question is what is it about the need to help a person attracts you to them? And would you be willing to date someone going into the counseling field and why?
Confusedalways Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Oh, lord. I dated a counselor-- NEVER, EVER AGAIN. He was an absolutely wonderful man, but my gosh I felt like I was in a therapy session all the time. I don't think he even realized it half the time. We broke up and he's a wonderful friend who I can go if I need advice on an issue, but beyond that he tended to make mountains out of mole hills. Things most people would tend to ignore he always wanted to ANALYZE. Constantly.. oh my gosh, it was grating. I also felt like I had to be careful of what I would say so he wouldn't go into counselor mode. So, yeah, I would not be willing to date someone in the counseling field ever again.
4givrnt4gtr Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Oh, lord. I dated a counselor-- NEVER, EVER AGAIN. He was an absolutely wonderful man, but my gosh I felt like I was in a therapy session all the time. I don't think he even realized it half the time. We broke up and he's a wonderful friend who I can go if I need advice on an issue, but beyond that he tended to make mountains out of mole hills. Things most people would tend to ignore he always wanted to ANALYZE. Constantly.. oh my gosh, it was grating. I also felt like I had to be careful of what I would say so he wouldn't go into counselor mode. So, yeah, I would not be willing to date someone in the counseling field ever again. Ouch! thats kind of a rash decision given that you dated ONE counselor who wasn't able to keep the boundaries between his professional life and his personal one. Not all of us do that! OP, as a counselor you need to be very very aware of leaving your notepad at the office. Especially at the begining is so easy to slip into that mode because you're just getting used to the feel and seeing things in a different light, But always remember you are a person before you are a counselor and not everyone wants/needs advice or enlightnement NOW....Ive also heard the "ohh are you going to be reading my mind then?" when I tell them Im a therapist, but usually that is easily dealt with a "nah, I only work 9-5", and then BEHAVE accordingly, no advice, none of that. Also, be aware of the type of people you are "attracted" to, is it because you like them or because you think they'd make an interesting patient? Don't date anyone that might look like a project, or if you do decide to date someone who is having issues, refrain from helping him fix them, as an SO you dont have enough objectivity to do so and you'll end up damaging your relationship and/or irritating your partner.
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