myhearthurtsbadly Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Some of you have read my other friend regarding my relationship and basically my ex came back and said she wanted to be together in the summer, but not now. No getting with other people, still seeing each other but without the pressure of being in a relationship. Im at university and she is at home but last night she went out with a friend. I realised that i really dont trust her. She loves attention from people so much. She also said she would phone me when she got back- that didnt materialise. Woke up today and looked on her friends wall and she had written "im still drunk....". Bearing in mind she has a heart problem and has been told many times that drinking is bad for her, im struggling to understand her actions. Every time she goes out she almost changes as a person and i dont seem to matter anymore, yet when shes at home doing nothing she is all lovey and i miss you etc. Can anyone she any light on the situation, many thanks
carnegie Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) Some of you have read my other friend regarding my relationship and basically my ex came back and said she wanted to be together in the summer, but not now. No getting with other people, still seeing each other but without the pressure of being in a relationship. Im at university and she is at home but last night she went out with a friend. I realised that i really dont trust her. She loves attention from people so much. She also said she would phone me when she got back- that didnt materialise. Woke up today and looked on her friends wall and she had written "im still drunk....". Bearing in mind she has a heart problem and has been told many times that drinking is bad for her, im struggling to understand her actions. Every time she goes out she almost changes as a person and i dont seem to matter anymore, yet when shes at home doing nothing she is all lovey and i miss you etc. Can anyone she any light on the situation, many thanks We're on the same boat, buddy. My ex GF broke up with me 4 months ago and we was come back together, when she showed that she is really want it. I believed her but when we came back, everything wasn't the same. She seems to be busy and didnt care for me, at least, like a friend. And we break up again when she went to Australia to study oversea and I think that's enough. I decided never trust her anymore. Now is time for me! Not for her anymore! I believe when someone loves you, nothing can stop them to stare at you, to find way to make you smile and happy. In this situation, I dont think she still loves you. Sorry about that but you must take time for YOURSELF more, pay attention to YOU first buddy. Regards. Edited January 15, 2010 by carnegie
Author myhearthurtsbadly Posted January 15, 2010 Author Posted January 15, 2010 Im being taken for a ride, she wants me in the picture so she feels safe and secure and can click her fingers when she wants me. She keeps me close by saying all this bull**** about love and future. She's nasty, emotionally manipulative and i cant stand it. What shall i do?
carnegie Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Im being taken for a ride, she wants me in the picture so she feels safe and secure and can click her fingers when she wants me. She keeps me close by saying all this bull**** about love and future. She's nasty, emotionally manipulative and i cant stand it. What shall i do? myhearthurtsbadly, do you love her? what do you wanna do?
Tymme Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I'm in a similar situation, but with my wife. You need to tell her exactly how you feel. I'm not talking about telling her how much you love her and want to be with her. I'm talking about telling her what you are comfortable with. When you (do action) it makes me (feel emotion). Her love for you may be unquestionable to herself. But if you aren't going to be comfortable with her actions, then she needs to know. If she loves you, she will understand. If she loves you and wants to stay with you, she will make the necessary adjustments. But keep in mind, people aren't always as willing to change as they may first appear when faced with a choice of Change Actions vs End Relationship. And it isn't always the healthiest thing to try to get a person to change for you. A lot of times they will only makes changes temporarily to appease you, but deep down that may not be who they really are. And keep in mind, (and this is only my opinion) she's only responsible for half the work. You have to be willing to change as well. It's rough. Good luck.
Author myhearthurtsbadly Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 I love her very much and would go to the end of the earth for her but her behaviour is causing that feeling to fade. One moment she wants to wait for eachother and she loves me, the next she will "get with someone if she wants to" and we are not waiting for eachother. My idea of love is that when you love someone you only want them and her emotions keep changing. One day shel talk to me like im her boyfriend the next she sounds distant. The other day i told her it was over and i wasnt going to be a doormat, she called me back an hour later apologising etc. I can't tell what she really wants and everytime i ask she gets angry and blames me for trying to control her...
carnegie Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Sound like she's playing game, omg! If someone loves you, they cannot help caring for you, and trying to make you happy, as I said. In this forum, you can find many people loved the one who doesnt love them. I think you and your GF need to talk seriously about your relationship, about what you want and what you need. If you dont feel comfortable with her action, tell her. If she need you and love you, she'll think carefully about your feeling. If not, something would be clear: she loves herself more than love you. People want things they cannot hold in their hands.
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