cognac Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 It just so happens that a strong willpower is one of the things I find most impressive in people of any gender. I would have no respect for a man who smokes and doesn't quit because he can't. And don't bash me for saying this because I was a smoker and I quit - cold turkey. So, I wouldn't even consider a man who smokes no matter what other qualities he has if he isn't willing to quit AND succeeds in doing so. Aside from that, I am really appreciative of outgoing men with communication skills who can hold a conversation, even if it's about a difficult topic, gracefully and efficiently. Arabella Why are women such control freaks? Every non-smoking woman I know has wanted (more like demanded) me to quit. What if a guy just likes to smoke? It shows nothing to do with will -power, plenty of people smoke because they find it relaxing and a treat, much like a candy bar or a piece of cake. It's not the same as being strung out on dope or an alcoholic where it affects your daily life. Yeah I know all the long term health detriments of it, but even modern industrial food is radioactive. If you live in a big city you're inhaling a pack of cigarettes worth of carbon monoxide anyway. Almost all the people I've known who got serious cancer (lung, liver, etc) never smoked and drank moderately. Those girly magazines like Cosmo, People, etc offend my eye sight and intelligence very deeply, yet I don't demand a girl I date quit "those" because I have no right to tell them what to do simply because it personally offends me.
DiscoChick Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I have found that most women like humor. Make a girl laugh and you have an inside track to their heart. True. A funny and smart guy automatically grabs my attention. I love to laugh.
DiscoChick Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Why are women such control freaks? Every non-smoking woman I know has wanted (more like demanded) me to quit. What if a guy just likes to smoke? Those girly magazines like Cosmo, People, etc offend my eye sight and intelligence very deeply, yet I don't demand a girl I date quit "those" because I have no right to tell them what to do simply because it personally offends me. You just have to find the right type of woman. I don't smoke, but I never pressured my ex into stopping (he smoked cigarettes and weed). When he decided he would stop smoking, I supported him, but I never once told him to stop smoking. Why would I have? I accepted him the way he was. I'd be annoyed if someone wanted to me to stop me from doing something I enjoyed. I treat people the way I want to be treated. We're going to die anyway. Die happy! Buy those two hundred dollar shoes. Smoke that cigarette! Adopt that puppy! You live only once.
Payden Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Well I see from what they want..I'm undesirable lol. I'm a pretty good cook though.
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Buy those two hundred dollar shoes. Smoke that cigarette! Adopt that puppy! You live only once. You left one thing out: Kill The Ex-Girlfriend/Wife - You know you want to! You only live once! And what about the $200 prostitute? Should I go for that too? Maybe I will pull out all the stops and by the ribbed for her condoms... then beat her up. I am SHAMWoW, after all.
DiscoChick Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 You left one thing out: Kill The Ex-Girlfriend/Wife - You know you want to! You only live once! And what about the $200 prostitute? Should I go for that too? Maybe I will pull out all the stops and by the ribbed for her condoms too. I am SHAMWoW, after all. By all means, do whatever makes you happy. I condone violence, though. Sorry.
DiscoChick Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 By all means, do whatever makes you happy. I condone violence, though. Sorry. I don't condone violence. That made me laugh until my head hurt.
mem11363 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Most of the people I know who smoke weed daily end up with unpleasant brain chemistry changes: - Loss of motivation - Loss of memory/typically short term memory and concentration - Gradual paranoia - Etc It is not a moral judgement, just an observation. If your own business continues to grown in revenue and profit then clearly it is not effecting you very much (perhaps you would be even more successful drug free?) and that is fine. I think it is great that you are up front about this when you meet people. My guess is that if you become truly wealthy this will become a non factor for most women as they will simply infer from your wealth that it does not effect you in a seriously adverse manner. So what if the guy doesn't want to quit, does that mean he has no willpower. I have plenty of willpower for things I really want. IMHO, I believe someone that judges someone for smoking herb or cigs is even worse than the offense itself. For myself, I will always smoke weed. I am upfront about it, and I am even smoking as I type this. I don't sit around on my couch all day, either. I get stuff done. I just brought it up because I've seen so many fickle girls judge me for it, but yet they'll date a total druggie who hides it until their "invested". I don't see how smoking herb is any indication of how I treat others and my convictions.
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) Most of the people I know who smoke weed daily end up with unpleasant brain chemistry changes: - Loss of motivation - Loss of memory/typically short term memory and concentration - Gradual paranoia - Etc It is not a moral judgement, just an observation. If your own business continues to grown in revenue and profit then clearly it is not effecting you very much (perhaps you would be even more successful drug free?) and that is fine. I think it is great that you are up front about this when you meet people. My guess is that if you become truly wealthy this will become a non factor for most women as they will simply infer from your wealth that it does not effect you in a seriously adverse manner. Let me set the record straight... WEED is the reason my business is half as successful as it is. Kicking back for 5 minutes, and smoking a joint does wonders for looking at that difficult problem from a new perspective, and often solving it. Half of the money-making ideas I have had came to me while I was burnin. Hell, back when I worked for the man, I was stoned constantly at work. I got my **** done, and my boss and I are still friends to this day. He doesn't even smoke. As for all of those short-memoried, hip-gangsta wannabes - yes there are those of the group that give a bad name to all within it. Even potheads. Brain chemistry? Do you realize how many people alter their brain chemistry "legally" daily with toxic substances created by people in lab coats? Everyone has their fix. Mine is WEED. I love Mary Jane. She never let me down. She alters my chemistry in awesome ways. "Some of my finest hours have been spent on the back of my veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as the eye can see." -Thomas Jefferson, 1781 Edited January 15, 2010 by ShamWoW
Confusedalways Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 For me a guy could have all the most impressive traits in the world... but yes, weed is a deal breaker. I don't have a problem with friends smoking it, but it's not something I would ever want to be around in a situation where I would live with, marry and raise children with a guy who smoked it. I'm glad you're able to be productive, etc, whilst smoking but it is not something I want a in a man. Surely there are certain things you find as deal breakers in a girl, and all the debate in the world wouldn't change your mind about it. It's basically the same thing here-- there are certain things some of us just don't like, and for a lot of us it's illegal and/or legal (cigarette) substances.
OndaChin Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Now that's what I am saying. More men need to grow a pair... Amen Brother!! .. and once that man finally does grow a "pair" he should know best where to put them, too!
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) For me a guy could have all the most impressive traits in the world... but yes, weed is a deal breaker. I don't have a problem with friends smoking it, but it's not something I would ever want to be around in a situation where I would live with, marry and raise children with a guy who smoked it. I'm glad you're able to be productive, etc, whilst smoking but it is not something I want a in a man. Surely there are certain things you find as deal breakers in a girl, and all the debate in the world wouldn't change your mind about it. It's basically the same thing here-- there are certain things some of us just don't like, and for a lot of us it's illegal and/or legal (cigarette) substances. Actually, I am not self centered enough to have PETTY "dealbreakers" like this. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, just as I have every right to deem it absurd and unrealistic. No, I wouldn't give up an otherwise good mate because she smoked cigarettes or weed, enjoyed to drink from time to time, or chewed her gum too loudly. You see, I don't like to control people, especially women I date. I look inside and see the person they are, and allow my mind to paint the big picture. This is something you will never get to realize, because you will shut many men out over something as petty as pot smoking. Your children are going to find out about smoking weed and dangerous drugs from a stranger. Let me know how that works out for you. Believe me, I would much rather my children smoke pot as young adults than do the stuff that most of them do. I'd rather teach my children about it myself, at the right age. And no one said I am going to be smoking weed around my young children.... that's another stereotype people with your one sided mind create. I am also realistic enough to know that EVERYONE has their poison. What's yours? A bad temper? Drink too much? Use food for comfort? Your straight and narrow ways sound boring and unappealing to me. You might as well get in line with the rest of the sheep. One word could sum up your entire post - PETTY Edited January 15, 2010 by ShamWoW
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 For me a guy could have all the most impressive traits in the world... but yes, weed is a deal breaker. I don't have a problem with friends smoking it, but it's not something I would ever want to be around in a situation where I would live with, marry and raise children with a guy who smoked it. I'm glad you're able to be productive, etc, whilst smoking but it is not something I want a in a man. Surely there are certain things you find as deal breakers in a girl, and all the debate in the world wouldn't change your mind about it. It's basically the same thing here-- there are certain things some of us just don't like, and for a lot of us it's illegal and/or legal (cigarette) substances. Do you like music? Do you like the Beatles? Pink Floyd? Metallica? Led Zeppelin? Dave Matthews? If you have any of those CDs, you better get up and through them away immediately, you hypocrite!
Confusedalways Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Do you like music? Do you like the Beatles? Pink Floyd? Metallica? Led Zeppelin? Dave Matthews? If you have any of those CDs, you better get up and through them away immediately, you hypocrite! Well, I'm not dating any of the beatles, pink floyd, metallica, led zeppelin, or dave matthews, so I fail to see how that is hypocritical. You're over reacting. Obviously people who deem pot a deal breaker aren't the kind of people you'd want to date anyway, since we're petty. So what's the problem? Find people who don't mind it and surely you will be happy.
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Well, I'm not dating any of the beatles, pink floyd, metallica, led zeppelin, or dave matthews, so I fail to see how that is hypocritical. You're over reacting. Obviously people who deem pot a deal breaker aren't the kind of people you'd want to date anything, since we're petty. So what's the problem? Find people who don't mind it and surely you will be happy. That's the problem - there is no one with a "like mind". When you start judging people and picking people apart over every little thing, you are suddenly left with no options. Yes, you are a big hypocrite. All of that good music was created by potheads - go throw it all away, and you better not let your kids listen to Dave Matthews, because pot is evil and they will be scarred for life. You can't have it both ways. The only problem that I have is narrow-minded people, but that's not really MY problem... it just frustrates me and makes me want to educate you. Marijuana was outlawed in 30 states by 1930. There were two primary reasons for the laws. In the southwestern states, marijuana was outlawed because of racial prejudice against the Mexicans who used it. As one Texas legislator said, "All Mexicans are crazy and this stuff (marijuana) is what makes them crazy." In the other states, it was outlawed because of fears that heroin addiction would lead to the use of marijuana - exactly the opposite of the modern "gateway" myth.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 So what if a man has all of the qualities listed here, but there's one thing you don't like - such as he smokes cigs or weed. Funny how all of those qualities that really define a person suddenly become less important, huh? True, so very very true.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I love how this thread has turned into a ShamWow for Weed campaign. Dude, my guy is dropping off some Grade A cush this evening. Come on over. We'll have a music listening party and then hotbox till dawn. ShamWow, my ex was a guitar-playing hottie stoner, and his marijuana use concerned me a little, but that was mainly because he clearly used many different kinds of chemicals to "fix" whatever was amiss with his head, from caffeine to alcohol to nicotine to mary jane. The cigarette smoking was a deal-breaker, because I couldn't stand the smell of it in his hair, clothes, and on his breath. Who wants to kiss someone that tastes like an ash tray? Gross. The MJ was not a deal-breaker, and I indulged with him occasionally (fun and hot), but I know he cut back some when we were together. Now, back to the thread topic... What impresses me in a man is knowing what he wants and having the passion and drive to go after it.
Rooster_DAR Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I don't smoke weed myself, but I have a few friends that do. Personally, my friends that do smoke weed seem to be down to earth, more human to me. On the other side of the coin, I have noticed people who frown on smokers (Weed or Cigs) seem to have a plastic surface around them, but not all of them. I know both pot smokers and straight folk that are very good people. I think ShamWow is pretty much right on in much of his observation, but again everyone has the right to decide what they like or dislike in a partner. Cheers!
Arabella Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) I couldn't care less if a man chooses to smoke, pot or cigarettes and I wouldn't ask them to change. I just wouldn't date them to begin with, and I would tell them the reason. That doesn't make me a control freak, that makes me a woman with standards. I'm certainly not the only person in the world who feels smoking is a disgusting habit. Many men feel this way too. Everyone has specific sets of criteria by which they determine who they want to date or not. For instance, other people choose not to date fat or unemployed people. You call me narrow-minded and attack me, taking personally my opinion when I was simply answering a question. If you ask, expect that you might get an answer you don't like and learn to accept it. Otherwise, it's just the pot calling the kettle black, as you are demonstrating to be just as narrow-minded by refusing accept someone else's points of view. Arabella Edited January 15, 2010 by Arabella spelling
GAchasen Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Confidence, passionate, authentic, giving, goal oriented, and spontaneous helps.
sumdude Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I'm certainly not the only person in the world who feels smoking is a disgusting habit. Many men feel this way too. You have absolutely every right to choose a potential mate using whatever standards you want. But I find it interesting how ex-smokers have the worst attitudes towards those who still smoke. Even worse than those who have never smoked. Then again to be in a relationship with a smoker now might make you worry about slipping back into it again. It is hard core addiction. So in a way it makes sense.
CaliGuy Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 All these years I've been saying that CONFIDENCE is the single most important factor when trying to attract and KEEP a mate. Not fake confidence or arrogance (ala: David DeAngelo) but pure, unadulterated CONFIDENCE in one's self. This thread and the replies from most females confirms that. So you guys who are shorter than average, slightly overweight or think you're not as attractive as the average guy: TAKE NOTE! Stop worrying about what you lack physically and work on yourself MENTALLY. Because if you are not confident in yourself, you can't expect others to be confident in you. If you don't like/love yourself, you can't expect others to like/love you either. Get it?!
callingyouuu Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 But I find it interesting how ex-smokers have the worst attitudes towards those who still smoke. Even worse than those who have never smoked. Yeah, I've noticed the same thing. I think it has something to do with wanting to validate decisions that we've already made. We always like to think that our actions are right, and lots of times when we encounter people with the opposite lifestyle, it puts our decisions in doubt. As a result, sometimes we get really defensive about it, more to prove to ourselves that we're doing the right thing than to prove to other people. I think that's what's happening in their case, and in Shamwow's case in this thread. It's just important to make sure that your decisions are right for you and to let other people decide what's right for them. In reality, I don't think any standards you have for a potential mate are ever really "petty". You just have to accept the consequences that come with being somewhat picky, and be mindful of the fact that to be able to get a guy like Brad Pitt, you're going to have to be as good as Angelina Jolie.
doushenka Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Hmmm. Weed is a drug, but alcohol abuse is excessive drinking. Interesting. Alcohol's another kind of drug, it's true, but when you hit twenty-one, at least you can't get arrested for possession. So are you gonna divorce your future husband when he starts tokin up with the boys? a) Your assumption that I'm getting married amuses me, and b) Yes, because we would have discussed our mutual values regarding substance abuse early in the relationship. Should one of us change without discussing it with the other, that would be grounds for a breakup. I would expect to be left if I did the same.
doushenka Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Your children are going to find out about smoking weed and dangerous drugs from a stranger. Let me know how that works out for you. Believe me, I would much rather my children smoke pot as young adults than do the stuff that most of them do. That would be another erroneous assumption. If I ever bother with children, they will learn about drugs from their granddad, because he's got more experience. Better they do drugs at home, where it's safe, than out on the streets. Works for the Germans and booze (and I know this firsthand).
Recommended Posts