Lizzie60 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 My advice... get out.... HE WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE... mark my words... no counselling.. nothing will do.. BECAUSE in his mind.. he's right.. you're wrong... He's a moron... and needs to be kicked to the curb... I have NOOOOOO patience for jerks like him... What a moron!!!!... I just can't get over this... how can he act like she's stupid.. like she's nothing.. what the f* does he think he is... This makes me sick... honestly... Trust me.. if you don't get out NOW.. you will ruin her self-esteem (and maybe her future)... she's not stupid.. she will (and probably is now) see the unfairness of her father, and later she will question why her mother didn't stand up for her.. why she was standing for her behind her 'father's' back... why did her mother wasn't strong enough to 'protect' her.. I've been in your position.. My first ex moved with me when my daughter was 2 1/2 yrs old.. he treated her well... I would have NEVER EVER tolerated any man who would have treated her like she was dumb... because she was an extremely intelligent little girl.... This really strike a nerve when I see adults (who are supposedly intelligent) treat young children like that... nothing pisses me off more.. You don't owe this idiot anything.. BUT you owe your children happiness and a fair and safe environment... You will sooooo regret it in 10 years from now.. if you don't make your move now...
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Lizzie is right. He won't change. Sadly he doesn't 'see' your daughter as his own flesh and blood. Nothing you can do or say is going to change that. Only you can change, for the sake of your daughter and her own wellness/mental health. Make a decision and stick to it, STOP threatening divorce because 1)he stops listening to you and since you haven't followed through on it, he has less respect for you too..Sorry to say that but he is tuning you out as soon as the topic comes up, that's why he gets pissy and leaves the room. HE KNOWS exactly what is going on and how wrong it is but he can't get over the fact she isn't his flesh and blood. It's wrong and diguisting of him, but he won't admit to it. Put your kids first and get him OUT of the house. The effect this has not only on YOUR daughter, but BOTH kids is emotionally scarring, stuff that brings out insecurities later in life, forming relationships, trust issues, self worth etc.. Please, I know you love your H, but he is a real piece of sh.it.
Author foxyroxy_msu83 Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 you guys are right, he is a moron, and no i do not want to continue to make my daughter suffer. im scared, but im going to do what i have to do for her sake.
Lizzie60 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 Good... I agree with WWIU... it's not only for the oldest.. it's for the other one as well... he is NOT a good father.. period.. Men like him should NEVER have children.. because they make more harm than good... and this is worst since they are girls.. and girls need to feel adored by their father... this is primordial... I always say to men (and my MM): 'Love your daughter.. show her how much she's special... you have nooooo idea how her life will be a lot easier because she will feel confident about herself".. Daughters (from ages) have suffered from this 'lack' of emotional support from fathers... new fathers are much better in that 'department'...and it's about time... but there are still macho-morons that will not 'show' their love to their daughters.. for 'I-don't-know-why'... shheeeesh
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 it's not only for the oldest.. it's for the other one as well... he is NOT a good father.. period.. Exactly. This can actually pin the daughters against eachother later in life, in their teens. One will be allowed to do X, Y or Z and the other one won't. Please really hear what Lizzie and everyone else is saying. I know you are hurting and it's so hard, this guy IS your husband, but you came in as a package deal, with a daughter already.. He can't love one and not the other. Just isn't right.
mem11363 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Lizzie, You did a good thing today. Your post said this the best. My advice... get out.... HE WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE... mark my words... no counselling.. nothing will do.. BECAUSE in his mind.. he's right.. you're wrong... He's a moron... and needs to be kicked to the curb... I have NOOOOOO patience for jerks like him... What a moron!!!!... I just can't get over this... how can he act like she's stupid.. like she's nothing.. what the f* does he think he is... This makes me sick... honestly... Trust me.. if you don't get out NOW.. you will ruin her self-esteem (and maybe her future)... she's not stupid.. she will (and probably is now) see the unfairness of her father, and later she will question why her mother didn't stand up for her.. why she was standing for her behind her 'father's' back... why did her mother wasn't strong enough to 'protect' her.. I've been in your position.. My first ex moved with me when my daughter was 2 1/2 yrs old.. he treated her well... I would have NEVER EVER tolerated any man who would have treated her like she was dumb... because she was an extremely intelligent little girl.... This really strike a nerve when I see adults (who are supposedly intelligent) treat young children like that... nothing pisses me off more.. You don't owe this idiot anything.. BUT you owe your children happiness and a fair and safe environment... You will sooooo regret it in 10 years from now.. if you don't make your move now...
Lizzie60 Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 Lizzie, You did a good thing today. Your post said this the best. Huh? I'm not sure I understand this ...
mem11363 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Lizzie, I just think you spoke on this child's behalf in a very convincing manner. And in a way her mother needed to hear. Huh? I'm not sure I understand this ...
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