confuzed25 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 So I went on my second date with this guy today....we went snowboarding. I didnt have very high hopes for this because after the first date he didnt seem all that into me. I asked him for this second date and he agreed, which kind of surprised me. But he was really sweet today...he waited for me and didnt laugh at all when I fell. He kept saying I was doing really well and that he was really impressed. He didnt go off and do his own thing, he always helped me and stayed close by. He made conversation with me the whole time, and was asking me about myself like he genuinely wanted to get to know me. When we were done he walked me to my car and said he had a really good time but took me completely off guard when he said he was thinking about kissing me. Then I did the most unsmooth thing in the world....I said "I dunno about all that.....I have a runny nose. Thats not real attractive." He just said "ok, have a safe trip home" and he walked away. I felt like such an idiot! It bothered me the whole way home, so when I got home I texted him saying "hey im really sorry i got really shy there for a minute, im not usually like that." he texted me back immediately saying "no its fine." Thats all he said....nothing since then. So now I feel like I blew it....what do you think? Am I blowing things out of proportion, or did I do a really stupid thing? I think I could really like this guy and definitely want to get to know him better, but Im afraid he thinks Im weird or something and wont want to see me again. Give me some input please...and what should I do? Give him a few days to contact me? Ask him out if he doesnt get ahold of me in a few days?
OceanTropic Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 He thinks you rejected him. I dont know how you said it, but if you weren't laughing and flirting while saying it, he might have gotten the wrong idea. Even though you apologized, he might think you are only doing so cuz you feel bad. Maybe thats why he wasn't that open on the first date, cuz he was afraid of rejection. You haven't ruined everything, give him a few days, then if he doesn't contact you first, ask to see him again. If he says no, tell him "That's too bad, I was looking forward to that kiss."
Pizzaman81 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 ...I blew it..../QUOTE] Yes blow your nose! Don't worry, schedule another date with him, he will forget. Next time, if you want to have the kiss, you kiss him.
Author confuzed25 Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 ok now im really bummed....i texted him yesterday and he has not texted me back. I said "wow you definitely werent kidding about me being sore today!" I was going to ask him if he wanted to get together again soon but I have not heard back from him. Ive been beating myself up over this...how could we have such a great time and he was obviously interested in me if he said he wanted to kiss me, and then just because of one silly awkward moment he has decided not to talk to me anymore? Ugh Im so irritated at myself....im so picky and I finally found a guy I really like and I blow it by saying something really stupid and awkward. So frustrating. Any idea what I do now? Should I try one more time and just come out and ask him out and see what happens?
OnlyJake Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 ok now im really bummed....i texted him yesterday and he has not texted me back. I said "wow you definitely werent kidding about me being sore today!" I was going to ask him if he wanted to get together again soon but I have not heard back from him. Ive been beating myself up over this...how could we have such a great time and he was obviously interested in me if he said he wanted to kiss me, and then just because of one silly awkward moment he has decided not to talk to me anymore? Ugh Im so irritated at myself....im so picky and I finally found a guy I really like and I blow it by saying something really stupid and awkward. So frustrating. Any idea what I do now? Should I try one more time and just come out and ask him out and see what happens? OceanTropic gave you really good advice. That's what you've should've done, rather than just trying to start a conversation via text with him. I still like OceanTropic's advice.
Author confuzed25 Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 thats what i was trying to do but i didnt think it had to be the very first thing i said...
OnlyJake Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 thats what i was trying to do but i didnt think it had to be the very first thing i said... Well if you called him, it didn't have to be; if you were talking to him on the phone, that would've been a good conversation starter that would allow you to segue into asking him out. Since you texted him, it did have to be the first (and only) thing you said. What you did was try to start a conversation with a statement that didn't require a response. So, he didn't respond. I think with texting you need to be as direct as possible, and generally I don't recommend texting as a good way to ask someone out (or gauge interest), since you have no way of knowing if/when they received your message, nor are they obligated to ever acknowledge it. Don't make it easy to ignore you or blow you off! Texting like that also doesn't really give anyone a clear indicator of your interest, and feeling blown off or shut down is likely what this guy's problem is/was, so you didn't really acknowledge or fix that by texting what you did.
Author confuzed25 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Posted January 17, 2010 disappointed....very very disappointed. I tried texting him again today...i said "hey! i am off work weds and friday. are you interested in getting together again?" NO ANSWER. this is so frustrating...i cant believe he wont talk to me anymore. right after we left the date the other day i texted him apologizing for not kissing him, and he texted me right back, like within 30 seconds and said "no its fine." Why would he even bother texting me back then if he was so turned off and was just going to ignore me from then on? he obviously liked me enough to tell me that he had alot of fun and that he was impressed with how good i did, and he said he wanted to kiss me. But because of one awkward moment he changed his mind? I guess I need to move on...so badly i want to text him saying "listen i know we both had fun the other day, and you obviously liked me enough that you wanted to kiss me. im sorry that i made it awkward at the end, believe me when i say that i am no prude or anything, and that i really wanted to kiss you. I just wanted it to be good, instead of with cold dry lips, and a runny nose from the snow. Ok just wanted you to know how I felt about it and if you dont contact me I'll leave you alone, I can take a hint."
OnlyJake Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 You seriously need to stop texting him and just suck it up and call him. Since you've already reached out to him several times now with no response, I don't recommend doing this now. But for future reference; pick up the damn phone and CALL him. If the guy doesn't answer, leave a vmail. DON'T TEXT. Reread what I said about giving them the incredibly easy option of ignoring you. They can still ignore phone calls, but at least if you leave a vmail to call you back and they don't you know where you stand, instead of all this wondering.
OnlyJake Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I guess I need to move on...so badly i want to text him saying "listen i know we both had fun the other day, and you obviously liked me enough that you wanted to kiss me. im sorry that i made it awkward at the end, believe me when i say that i am no prude or anything, and that i really wanted to kiss you. I just wanted it to be good, instead of with cold dry lips, and a runny nose from the snow. Ok just wanted you to know how I felt about it and if you dont contact me I'll leave you alone, I can take a hint." If he didn't respond to any of your other messages, what makes you think this is going to be the magic one that makes him respond to you? If you do end up sending this, pleasepleaseplease leave out the part about leaving him alone and being able to take a hint, because all your actions say otherwise, and it just screams self-pity. Don't portray yourself that way! You're better than that!
Author confuzed25 Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 whats the big deal that i texted instead of calling?? you can ignore a call just as easily as a text. if i leave a voicemail he can choose not to get back to me just as easily as a text. i didnt call because you can tell someone's nervousness in their voice and voicemails tend to be more awkward then a text. im not going to try to contact him again...im not desperate or anything. just frustrated at myself, and just wish i knew what his thinking was. like if he met someone else or if hes not talking to me because he thinks im weird for not kissing him.
OnlyJake Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 whats the big deal that i texted instead of calling?? you can ignore a call just as easily as a text. I already acknowledged that. Of course, texting is terrible for all kinds of reasons, some large (like there's no "tone" and they can easily be taken out of context, versus a person's voice; it's passive; people are much more likely to feel like they have to return a phone message, especially if you leave the right kind of message), and some small, like: not receiving a text(s) (yeah, it happens), texts are expensive and/or not included on his phone plan, etc. Anyways, sucks man, better luck next time.
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