broncosfrk83 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 My ex just contacted me today. Its been 2 weeks since we have been split up and have been totally no contact since sunday. The only reason its not longer is because i went and got my things. She just said in a text, "Hey just wondering how you are doing". Then she started to talk about what she is going to do with the dog we had together. (Shes leaving for a trip and i told her it wasnt the best thing for me to watch him). I just really dont know what to do. Is she just trying to settle her guilt? I want her back, but i know if she wanted me back then she would do all she could to get ahold of me. So do i ignore her totally? or do i just wait awhile before i just answer. If i do answer what should i say? ps: I already told her a friendship would not work in between us
gaudi Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 My ex just contacted me today. Its been 2 weeks since we have been split up and have been totally no contact since sunday. The only reason its not longer is because i went and got my things. She just said in a text, "Hey just wondering how you are doing". Then she started to talk about what she is going to do with the dog we had together. (Shes leaving for a trip and i told her it wasnt the best thing for me to watch him). I just really dont know what to do. Is she just trying to settle her guilt? I want her back, but i know if she wanted me back then she would do all she could to get ahold of me. So do i ignore her totally? or do i just wait awhile before i just answer. If i do answer what should i say? ps: I already told her a friendship would not work in between us I am assuming that she dumped you ?? If that is the case then you have done the right thing by being in NC. You are also correct to not want to be in the second class treatment category of being just a "friend". I think you may need to leave it a litte longer before you go responding though mate. Otherwise you send her a clear message of "answering whenever she calls". You say she's going on a trip, this could be a good thing for your NC. My own only started when my EX went on holiday for 10 days in mid december. Prior to that I had done all the begging/pleading/crying, been friends with sent her funny texts, and she was perfectly happy to let me do all that. Then she went away, I didn't contact her again. No texts when she got back saying how was your holiday ?? She eventually text me saying happy christmas.........(yeah whatever). Last week she sent me some pictures of a holiday that we went on together, I e-mailed thanks, but that's it. I would get back with her in a heartbeat, but she would have to ask me, (she probably won't). In the meantime, I have no need to contact her. Even though I really really want to .
fresh-one Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Sounds like she has low self esteem and needs the ego boost of you answering her... pathetic lol
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 She just sent me a text because i didnt answer. She said,...or you can ignore me...thats cool too. Idk what to do now? I want her back so i dont wanna piss her off to bad
Angel1111 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 It sounds like she's just trying to use you to watch the dog while she's gone. Don't even consider that. Hey, don't worry about pissing her off. She ended it, right? She has no reason to expect you to come jumping when the calls. If she wants to talk about what a jerk she's been and wants you back, that's a whole different conversation. Doesn't sound like that's what she's doing, though. Just ignore her.
gaudi Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 ...or you can ignore me...thats cool too. Cool, ignore her then. No seriously do ignore her, she's offering you nothing here. Let her go on her trip without having heard anything from you.
sean1970 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 ps: I already told her a friendship would not work in between us Nuff said... Right?
WiseOne1 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Congratulations, you successfully have gotten her to contact you. Trust me, I know your happy, but there’s plenty more of those text and calls to go, over the next 6 months "if not back together by then" you will have the scenario happen at lest 50-70 more times, so trust me, you have plenty of more times to choose rather to answer back or not. Well your ex did what everyone thought, she missed you, and came back using the main opening that some of us are sooo use to, "Hey i’m just checking on up you" yea that’s crap. She no longer has the right to care if you pick up or not anymore, she terminated that contract, so let her pay the ETF lol. First things first.. 1. No matter how much you piss a ex off by doing NC, that will NEVER be enough, she will always continue to think of new ways to stay in touch. 2. She obviously thinks she has you around her finger, Quote : Or you can just ignore me. HUH???????? is she serious, she acts as if you better be on watch when she calls as if you don't have a life of your own, for all she know you could be busy or even on the phone with someone else....even a new girl. In your case, I recommend wait awhile after contacting her, maybe 3 to 4 hours after each text message, and 6 hours after each call "if too late call the next day"
WiseOne1 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 It's also GREAT advice to ignore her completly, this way she comes to the conclusion of rather she wants you back, and if she does, she knows where to find you, if she doesn't she can keep moving on with life.
gaudi Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 so let her pay the ETF lol. Sorry, me being dumb again, what's the ETF ??
WiseOne1 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Sorry, me being dumb again, what's the ETF ?? Well with cell phone carries such as Verizon or Tmobile and ETC...they sign you to a 2 year contract, if you cancel service before that, your charged a ETF (early termination fee) , in relationship terms, the relationship ended before 1 party was ready, and in this case it the breakup wasn't neutral so he wasn't ready. Meaning let her suffer the consquences of her actions.
gaudi Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Thanks mate. My EX is gonna get billed for an ETF too hopefully !!!
HLP234 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Looks like she wants to just contact you when she wants and see if you will respond to what she wants. I wouldn't take it any further. Like everyone said, if she ended it, you don't really owe her anything including friendship if you are still getting over her. She can have someone else watch the dog. But I suppose this dog is yours too, so I would have her have someone else drop him or her off at your place if you want to take care of it.
CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 What I would do is stay the course. Continue with NC. Don't initiate contact with her. Don't answer her texts or calls. Don't do anything that might get to her believe you want to talk to her. You should behave as if she moved to the other side of the world. Put a clamp on dwelling on the past and focus on your own self-improvement. Trust me, when you get over her you're going to meet someone 1000 times better and wonder what you ever saw in your ex. You just have to discipline yourself to move on because right now, that is all you can do.
Author broncosfrk83 Posted January 15, 2010 Author Posted January 15, 2010 Thank god for all of you guys. I know i defiently need all this help
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