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Posted

I am 40 and I divorced my husband after 18 years of marriage. About a year after the divorce was final I began seeing my now bf.

I have been in this relationship for 2 years now. When we met (as it usually is) things were good. He moved in with me a little over a year ago. Our "love life" has come to almost a complete halt. He has no interest, (my interest is through the roof). He says it is the medication he is on that kills his sex drive. He has been taking this medicine for about 5 years now and a year ago we didn't have this problem.

That being said, he does look at the women in the adult section of craigslist and I have found some soft porn on the computer (not much just visited a couple of sites I think). When he sees a nice looking girl he likes to mention how "hot" he thinks they are when he sees them.

Does it sound like he's just not interested in sex in general or just with me??

Posted

this is a hard question. I'm more or less on the same boat except my husband is not into surfing porn or others.

 

In my case, we've been together for 11 years and married for 7. So I think the newness of sex wears off after 11 years and we get too comfortable with each other. We are working on it though, we wine & dine more often, we try to be closer again just like in the early days.

 

I used to think that it was me but I know now that it's not me (physically I'm not an eye sore and I think I still have pretty good personality, more or less the same things that make him attracted to me).

 

I am a bit alarmed that he surf porn though, in this case, I think the desire is still there. Perhaps, a male perspective will help here.

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Posted

I guess my real question is this. . . do men just want to look at other women to just look or when they do this is it because they have a sexual desire for other women?

Posted
I guess my real question is this. . . do men just want to look at other women to just look or when they do this is it because they have a sexual desire for other women?

 

The answer is that it depends but I don't think that should be your "real question." Your real question to him should be why he's blaming the medication that he's been on for five years for his disinterest in sex with you.

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