CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 At what age does one have to be for it to be socially unacceptable to have a crush?!
xpaperxcutx Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Caliguy, you're never too old to have a crush
DustySaltus Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Never. My brother is a p.i. and just hooked a 70 year old man back with his old high school crush and they actually live together now. I don't know if they go out dancing anymore but at least he has someone to watch "The Price is Right" with.
whichwayisup Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Enjoy the crush for what it is. Just don't tell that whomever you're crushing on about it.
TaraMaiden Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 At what age does one have to be for it to be socially unacceptable to have a crush?! any age, at all... providing you remember that no matter how much you earn, what car/motorbike you drive/ride, no matter what clothes you wear, or house you live in, or job you have....guys never make it past 9-and-a-half..... CaliGuy... wanna share? (You know I don't mean it.... where you're concerned.....)
Author CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 I ask because it's always been this way with me. If I have a "crush" on someone I get tunnel vision and have a hard time remembering that there are other women out there. I think -- at least to some degree -- this is a problem for me because I know that other women have shown interest when I have a crush on someone else but I tune them completely out. Consequently if the crush doesn't have the same level of interest I do, I lose out on the crush and everyone else who was interested in me in the interim. I think that's been "Good ol' Caliguy's" problem from the get-go. I need to stop with the tunnel vision.
Author CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 any age, at all... providing you remember that no matter how much you earn, what car/motorbike you drive/ride, no matter what clothes you wear, or house you live in, or job you have....guys never make it past 9-and-a-half..... Ok, I'm clueless what you mean here!! I live in California so earnings, your car, your clothes, your house and your "social" status are the primary factors for women here -- at least in my experience. And other guys in this area will back me up on that statement. It's all about keeping up with the "Jones" which is why I don't fit here. Money, material things, social status -- none of that means jack to me. Never has. Those things can disappear in a day and all you're left with is the core of who you are! CaliGuy... wanna share? (You know I don't mean it.... where you're concerned.....) Did you ever see "Pearl Harbor", the 2001 movie? There's a girl that I know that looks just like Kate Beckinsale in that movie and damn if I am not smitten.....
TaraMaiden Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I don't call it tunnel vision. I just think you're the rare breed that is honourbale to the prenmise that you're not a player. You focus on one lady at a time, and you don't expand your horizons to play the field. Yes, though, there is a disadvantage.... so i think if you decide to change your 'modus operandum' you have to be upfront and honest with the ladies and admit that you're considering dating freely, and just relaxing with no objective to anything serious - unless the 'Serious' Fairy comes up behind you and whangs you with a 6lb cast-iron love-skillet.....
Stung Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Ok, I'm clueless what you mean here!! I live in California so earnings, your car, your clothes, your house and your "social" status are the primary factors for women here -- at least in my experience. And other guys in this area will back me up on that statement. It's all about keeping up with the "Jones" which is why I don't fit here. Money, material things, social status -- none of that means jack to me. Never has. Those things can disappear in a day and all you're left with is the core of who you are! . Surely you mean SoCal?
Stockalone Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I ask because it's always been this way with me. If I have a "crush" on someone I get tunnel vision and have a hard time remembering that there are other women out there. I think -- at least to some degree -- this is a problem for me because I know that other women have shown interest when I have a crush on someone else but I tune them completely out. Consequently if the crush doesn't have the same level of interest I do, I lose out on the crush and everyone else who was interested in me in the interim. I think that's been "Good ol' Caliguy's" problem from the get-go. I need to stop with the tunnel vision. Ignoring or not even perceiving other prospects in the first place during that time is a price I gladly pay for having that tunnel vision/oneitis/crush or whatever we want to call it. I have never tried to change that or even questioned it. I pursue the women I pursue because I think they are special. I don't crush on just any woman, and my crushes are rarely based on looks alone. I don't see anything wrong with that. Why do you want to stop with the tunnel vision?
Stung Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I agree that it's preferable to have romantic focus, and probably helpful in the long run, as women want to feel special. Presumably the problem only arises if it is unrequited, and you can't shake it? Or do you not pursue these crushes, deeming them somehow inappropriate?
New Again Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I ask because it's always been this way with me. If I have a "crush" on someone I get tunnel vision and have a hard time remembering that there are other women out there. I think -- at least to some degree -- this is a problem for me because I know that other women have shown interest when I have a crush on someone else but I tune them completely out. Consequently if the crush doesn't have the same level of interest I do, I lose out on the crush and everyone else who was interested in me in the interim. I think that's been "Good ol' Caliguy's" problem from the get-go. I need to stop with the tunnel vision. I've always been the same way, and I've never seen it as a bad thing or as something that holds me back! I think it's something that sets us apart from the majority of people out there - the "sluts" and "teases" and "fickle" girls, the players, etc. for men...
Author CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 Surely you mean SoCal? Indeed. Ignoring or not even perceiving other prospects in the first place during that time is a price I gladly pay for having that tunnel vision/oneitis/crush or whatever we want to call it. I have never tried to change that or even questioned it. I pursue the women I pursue because I think they are special. I don't crush on just any woman, and my crushes are rarely based on looks alone. I don't see anything wrong with that. Why do you want to stop with the tunnel vision? Because I think that it often causes me to miss the right one because I crush hard on the wrong one?! Granted, I think she's special or I wouldn't be crushing on her -- but still -- I have the same problem everyone else has: "We want what the ones that do not want us and do not want the ones that do want us." Make sense? I agree that it's preferable to have romantic focus, and probably helpful in the long run, as women want to feel special. Presumably the problem only arises if it is unrequited, and you can't shake it? Or do you not pursue these crushes, deeming them somehow inappropriate? Oh I can shake it, it's just so often when I focus in on someone (crush) that someone else (or two) walks in and I'm oblivious to them -- no matter how attractive they are as a whole. Once I get that tunnel vision, it's game over until there's a resolution one way or another (dating or go our own way). I've always been the same way, and I've never seen it as a bad thing or as something that holds me back! I think it's something that sets us apart from the majority of people out there - the "sluts" and "teases" and "fickle" girls, the players, etc. for men... Yeah, I'd never be confused for a player but I can be stubborn when I like someone until I get a definite answer. It's not that I stalk or otherwise come off needy/clingy. It's just that I identify the one that I want and I simply go for it. It makes it hard for me to entertain other prospects when I've been "smitten" ya know?
Stockalone Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Because I think that it often causes me to miss the right one because I crush hard on the wrong one?! Granted, I think she's special or I wouldn't be crushing on her -- but still -- I have the same problem everyone else has: "We want what the ones that do not want us and do not want the ones that do want us." Make sense? The story of my life. Honestly, I am not concerned about missing the right one because I crush on the wrong one. I could be missing the right one because I post a reply on LS this very minute instead of being out with friends, etc. The list would be endless. Thinking about too many what if's would drive me crazy. Oh I can shake it, it's just so often when I focus in on someone (crush) that someone else (or two) walks in and I'm oblivious to them -- no matter how attractive they are as a whole. Once I get that tunnel vision, it's game over until there's a resolution one way or another (dating or go our own way). I am the same way. Yeah, I'd never be confused for a player but I can be stubborn when I like someone until I get a definite answer. It's not that I stalk or otherwise come off needy/clingy. It's just that I identify the one that I want and I simply go for it. It makes it hard for me to entertain other prospects when I've been "smitten" ya know? As I said, I am like that too. But I don't see it as a problem.
PinkToes Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Absolutely been there, done that! Crushes are fun and a nice alternative to looking for love among random strangers. If you met someone else that you were truly interested in, I'll bet the crush would fade on its own -- the way a broken heart can seem to suddenly disappear when you meet someone new who really grabs your attention. Also I've had two relationships that began as crushes and the men didn't have a clue until we started dating.
skydiveaddict Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 "We want what the ones that do not want us and do not want the ones that do want us." Make sense? Perfect sense.
Rainman760 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Psychologists and sociologists believe that the biological reason for that "tunnel vision" is that way, way back in the day in order for the infant to survive, there needed to be an exclusive pair bonding that would keep the male around to provide food, shelter, protection from critters etc. Of course in this day and age, women can fend for themselves quite nicely but millions of years of imprinting can be a tough habit to break, not that we'd want to anyway
samspade Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 At what age does one have to be for it to be socially unacceptable to have a crush?! I hope I have crushes for the rest of my life. I want to know that there's blood pumping through my veins!
Author CaliGuy Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 Psychologists and sociologists believe that the biological reason for that "tunnel vision" is that way, way back in the day in order for the infant to survive, there needed to be an exclusive pair bonding that would keep the male around to provide food, shelter, protection from critters etc. Of course in this day and age, women can fend for themselves quite nicely but millions of years of imprinting can be a tough habit to break, not that we'd want to anyway I have 100% total tunnel vision when I am attracted to/in love with someone. It's as if no one else exists but them. I can understand when being in love having tunnel vision but crushes is where I am confused. I hope I have crushes for the rest of my life. I want to know that there's blood pumping through my veins! Ohhh that's no problem with me. I need a bucket of water thrown on me on a daily basis
MyNameIsJonas Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) I think it's perfectly fine to have a crush at any age, just so long as it doesn't interfere with a pre-existing relationship (like with your girlfriend or wife). I actually had/have a crush on a young woman. I constantly find myself comparing other women and associated interactions to her and how I act around her, and I'm in my mid 20s... side note: post 100. woooo. Edited January 15, 2010 by MyNameIsJonas 100th post!
D-Lish Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I have a crush on a gay guy I work with- and I tell him everyday:love:
Hot Carl Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 (edited) At what age does one have to be for it to be socially unacceptable to have a crush?! What a silly question. You can have a crush at any age. You nut! Edited January 15, 2010 by Hot Carl
Author CaliGuy Posted January 15, 2010 Author Posted January 15, 2010 I think it's perfectly fine to have a crush at any age, just so long as it doesn't interfere with a pre-existing relationship (like with your girlfriend or wife). Agreed. I have a crush on a gay guy I work with- and I tell him everyday:love: So I am curious, does it creep gay men out when women hit on them?! haha. What a silly question. You can have a crush at any age. You nut! Maybe I didn't make myself clear. I was wondering if you ever grow OUT of the "crush" phase. Had them all my life but I was thinking I was different or something from other people because I never hear that term used by any of the people my age that I hang out with. The younger crowd, sure, but not the people my age. I was thinking that it was just something kids did, not full grown men
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