Simon Attwood Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Shadow, Are you going to come on here and post about every little doubt, insecurity, quarrel, or disagreement? Looking for other's opinions to guide you? What about your own guidance? These things are resolved by discussing them with your partner, not by running to the computer when ever you have a doubt or uncertainty. I'm with Threebyfate on this one. You seem to be looking for a flaw in the fabric of your relationship so that you can unpick it to the point that all you've got left is a pile of thread in a heap in front of you.
hoping2heal Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Shadow, Are you going to come on here and post about every little doubt, insecurity, quarrel, or disagreement? Looking for other's opinions to guide you? What about your own guidance? These things are resolved by discussing them with your partner, not by running to the computer when ever you have a doubt or uncertainty. I'm with Threebyfate on this one. You seem to be looking for a flaw in the fabric of your relationship so that you can unpick it to the point that all you've got left is a pile of thread in a heap in front of you. I agree and disagree. I think she just deep down, doesn't believe this is real love. Not that she is looking for a reason to get out of the Rs. I think she keeps sensing something is amiss and isn't sure wether it's her intuition or her fear that is telling her this. I agree that she needs to be talking about these doubts though; with her boyfriend. OP, If you start talking about these feelings and concerns you have with your bf and not just us you will be surprised at the level you open up for your Rs. This will deepen your bond and build something legitimate on your Rs. If he's as amazing as you say he is and want to be with this man; you should take every opportunity to build that Rs and make it strong; communicating your fears/doubts/insecurities with your partner opens you up to them, and offers security to you when you are able to work things out and get affirmations directly from the source.
Author shadowplay Posted January 25, 2010 Author Posted January 25, 2010 (edited) shadow, it's like you're deliberately trying to sabotage this relationship. Why? I'm not trying to sabotage it, at least not consciously. I just still feel some unease about the pace. He's feels more right than any other guy I've been with by a country mile. I have absolutely no intention of leaving him. I feel very strongly about him, and I really want to make this work. That we click so well may partly explain the fast pace. I can understand why he'd want to rush on ahead, because what we have is pretty rare (imo). But alarm bells keep ringing in my head whenever we take a step forward in terms of commitment. I think we should wait a few months before talking about settling down together in the future. I don't feel ready to even think about that. I'm worried that moving too fast will actually ruin what we have, and I really like what we have. I have addressed these concerns to him, but they were never properly resolved because he doesn't seem to be taking things any slower. Edited January 25, 2010 by shadowplay
Author shadowplay Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 (edited) I realized in the last few days that I really, truly love him. I can finally say it and mean it 100%. The more I learn about him, the more my respect for him grows. He has an amazing amount of integrity. He's not driven by what others think, or by material gain, or by image, or by any other superficial BS. He knows what he wants in life and he goes for it, regardless of what others do. He sees through the bullsht around him and finds his own path. He doesn't compromise his own values like others do. And at the same time, I know that he values me more than anything else in the world, and he would do anything for me. He's also honest to a fault, with me and with others. I'm still shocked that I was lucky enough to find somebody so rare and so close to me, simply by following a superficial impression I had. I should follow my gut more often! Everything I'm about or strive to be about he's about too. I love him. Edited January 28, 2010 by shadowplay
Simon Attwood Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 reference to the finance market; stock bubble = burst = Love that bursts like a stock bubble
Author shadowplay Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Good luck, Shadow thanks! -----------
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