Elizabrary Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 So last night I'm walking my dogs and I see the neighbor that he's sleeping w/pull in and my STBXH is in the car. I go ahead walking and check my mail and he is sitting in the car on his cell and she checks her mail. His frickin' W-2 shows up in my mailbox, so I tell her to give it to him. She just stares at me, then walks away. He starts to get out of the car so I throw it at him and say, "here, you fu*%in' sociopath." And I walk away. I was doing so good- N/C and focusing on myself. Then I flipped out and blew it when I saw that. She litereally lives 2 apts. down from me. I don't know how to deal with this. Plus I'm humiliated all the other neighbors are seeing this. I need any words of support/advice you can give. My lease is up in 3 months and I am moving then, but how do I cope now?
tnttim Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 We all stumble and fall, and we all break NC at some point. Don't dwell on it or it will eat you from the inside out. You are staying vigilant in a very tough time, for me it was worse than any death. You will be a better stronger person when this is over. Keep fighting the good fight.
phineas Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 My wife brought OM to my house. The neighbors saw & it got back to my friend's wife. The same when she moved out. I really don't care anymore. You shouldn't either. The only reason I was embaraced was when I momentarily took her back after I caught her. now that we are divorcing I really can hold my head high. It's tough but so can you.
Author Elizabrary Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 Thank you both for your replies. Just to have support helps. I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I'm not the one that did anything wrong but I still feel embarrassed. I hardly slept last night and I'm in a terrible state today- barely able to work. I shouldn't be surprised at anything this man does, but it still hurts.
tnttim Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Thank you both for your replies. Just to have support helps. I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I'm not the one that did anything wrong but I still feel embarrassed. I hardly slept last night and I'm in a terrible state today- barely able to work. I shouldn't be surprised at anything this man does, but it still hurts. I would get him so back by bringing a guy over to your apt. Nothing has to happen, but I bet the sight of you w/ another man would drive him crazy. Do you have any guy friends he doesn't know about? Ask them to come over and fix your TV. I would love to see his face when he or OW sees that. Usually the taste of your own medicine is bitter and nasty, give em a taste.
LisaUk Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Thank you both for your replies. Just to have support helps. I know I shouldn't feel bad, but I do. I'm not the one that did anything wrong but I still feel embarrassed. I hardly slept last night and I'm in a terrible state today- barely able to work. I shouldn't be surprised at anything this man does, but it still hurts. Of course it hurts sweetie, you love the piece of s**t! I can assure you if you were my neighbour I would not be thinking badly of you. On the contray, I would be thinking badly of him and the OW and thinking how much the nieghbourhood had dropped in tone! I would also be concerned for you. You have nothing to feel embaressed about, you didn't have an affair, you didn't betray anyone and you didn't break your wedding vows. YOU DESERVE BETTER, MUCH BETTER. Hold your head up, you have nothing to feel bad about.
gaudi Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 So last night I'm walking my dogs and I see the neighbor that he's sleeping w/pull in and my STBXH is in the car. I go ahead walking and check my mail and he is sitting in the car on his cell and she checks her mail. His frickin' W-2 shows up in my mailbox, so I tell her to give it to him. She just stares at me, then walks away. He starts to get out of the car so I throw it at him and say, "here, you fu*%in' sociopath." And I walk away. I was doing so good- N/C and focusing on myself. Then I flipped out and blew it when I saw that. She litereally lives 2 apts. down from me. I don't know how to deal with this. Plus I'm humiliated all the other neighbors are seeing this. I need any words of support/advice you can give. My lease is up in 3 months and I am moving then, but how do I cope now? How do you cope ?? Exactly as LisaUK said, you hold your head up high because you're the one who has the dignity in all of this. I thought I was hurting, I haven't seen my EX in almost 6 weeks now. God knows how I would be handling it if i was getting that kind of s**t rubbed in my face, and on your own doorstep!!! You stay strong, keep your head, (you didn't break NC, you just reacted how any of us would) and you will come out of all this the better person.
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