mimidarlin Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 We had our first counseling session today. I had a horrible feeling he would no show or have a work "emergency". He went willingly and to my surprise he opened up a lot with the counselor. He didn't say anything new to my ears really but he didn't hesitate to share. I was so worried that counseling would be meaningless because last time he had difficulty sharing. I don't know if we have any hope of reconciling. I know that I am willing to do the work. He knows he emotionally distanced himself from me and he doesn't see a way back. He is willing to give it a shot but he doesn't know what to do. The counselor wants to see us once a week for few weeks but my husband wanted to do twice a week. It wasn't possible but is him wanting that a good sign? My biggest challenge will be patience. My counselor said this was the biggest mistake that is made during the reconciliation time. Trying to rush...wanting answers...having difficulty coping with separation and smothering our partner. This all makes it easier for them to walk away. We aren't implementing NC at this time. I am trying to not initiate contact as much as possible. I miss him so much but I need to give him space. I need space as well. I'm functioning better day to day. There is less crying and I can still joke with my students. It's a challenge to focus on having patience and not pressuring. I have a beast inside that is so angry over the EA and him not taking steps forward. I want to hit something hard or throw things and break them. Where is a Greek restaurant with those little plates when I need one?
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