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Posted

First time poster, but i need some advice.

 

This is my second serious relationship. My gf and i have been together for 1.5 years. We fell for each other very quickly in grad school and thought it was meant to be. Her family loves me, my family loves her. She spent christmas with my family and then i spent New years with her, no fights, no nothing. on the second night back to school, she and i make passionate love. The next morning, she says she needs space and then goes on about all the things wrong. She starts bringing up fights from 6 months ago, my resistance to hang out with her friends all the time, that i give her a hard time all the time, and etc.

 

She still insists that i have treated her better and am better than any other relationship (which is the truth because she had very defunct past ones). She says that it is to deal with what makes her unhappy in our relationship and fix it or get out before we go any furthur. At first she wanted no contact, and i broke down that first night and made a fool of myself. She said she cried the whole day and that she wanted just space and still be in contact. She keeps saying to not hate her and not fall out of love with her. Here is the problem, she is in all the same classes, i am in, because she scheduled her classes that way. Her birthday is this weekend and she wants me to go to her home town with her and act like everything is normal to her friends and family, because she cant have a happy birthday without me.

 

Everytime i contact her, i get upset and she never can ease the pain. She seems almost apathetic at times on the phone but when i see her in class, she looks like hell. It has only been 2 days and i need help. Do i continue to contact her, or tell her she needs to feel what life is like without me, do i go to her parties this weekend, or do i stay at school?

 

Her family has a history of mental illness and she was raised by her mom and 2 crazy aunts. Could it be that she is just emotionally bat **** insane and i should take this as a giant red flag?

 

I know she loves me and i know she cares, and i know i love her, but i used to think that was all that mattered. Thanks in advance

Posted

She's probably just too young to know what she wants, but she also feels bad about breaking up with you. If I were you, I would not go with her to her birthday party. She ended it with you - she needs to realize the full implications of that. If she wants space, then give it to her. That's the only way she's going to figure out whether she wants to be with you or not. And in class, just ignore her unless she talks to you, and don't sit near her.

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