hopeless4u Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 So I'm feeling a little angry tonight, maybe because my heart is still broken and I need to vent or maybe because xMM is still talking bull****!! It's been obvious to me over the last month that xMM has protected himself and his family. He has promised his W he will do all he can to work on their M and he is I'm sure but he forgot to tell her he is still in contact with me(still lying). I have no problem believing he is filling her with the words (he's very good at words) she needs to hear but he is also saying to me he needs to know I'm ok.....bless.....such a nice guy, isn't he?? He has asked me if him contacting me is stopping me getting over him, if it is then he will stop but TBH every word that comes out of his mouth is helping me get over him.....I do love him and I always will but every day that passes I loose a little bit more respect for him....the crap that comes out of his mouth is unreal sometimes. I know he will be exactly where he is right now in 10, 20, 30 yrs time, he'll still be making excuses and he'll still be 'making do' with his life. Sorry if this sounds confusing but isn't that what LS is all about....It was in my head and I needed to vent...... Be kind:o
I Miss the Kiss Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Girlfriend, you won't get any unkindness from me! Although my xMM is not contacting me (which is another story all together), he is most definitely feeding his W the lies. No question. She even told me so when she called me the other night. I feel the same way you do... The bulls**t he feeds her is worse than what he fed me... But there he shall remain. He's her mess now. (((hugs))) I totally know how you feel
Author hopeless4u Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Girlfriend, you won't get any unkindness from me! Although my xMM is not contacting me (which is another story all together), he is most definitely feeding his W the lies. No question. She even told me so when she called me the other night. I feel the same way you do... The bulls**t he feeds her is worse than what he fed me... But there he shall remain. He's her mess now. (((hugs))) I totally know how you feel I'm there with you too, it makes me so mad sometimes. We have spoken and he knows how I feel, I hide nothing from him. He just talks the talk and the more he talks the more I dislike him. I never realised before and I could never see what a doormat he is.....its embarrassing for him it really is. I actually want him to carry on like this because it helps me get over the pain in my heart that is constantly there for him. I look at it and I see it for what it is, if he truly meant what he said to me over the last 2 years then he will not be happy with his life but if he hasn't got the balls to walk away then he deserves to just make do and die with regrets.......his choice.
temple Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 It's slightly worrying when on the one hand they're ''so confused'' but on the other, they're so verbose, isn't it... if it's anything like what I'm going through, it seems the more you tell them to go away, the more they attempt to string you along.
awkward Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 In time it will get easier. Take care of yourself by living your life. You will make it through this tough period. The most important thing is not let this relationship destroy your emotional well being. It's time to let go. Do it for yourself.
fooled once Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 So I'm feeling a little angry tonight, maybe because my heart is still broken and I need to vent or maybe because xMM is still talking bull****!! It's been obvious to me over the last month that xMM has protected himself and his family. He has promised his W he will do all he can to work on their M and he is I'm sure but he forgot to tell her he is still in contact with me(still lying). I have no problem believing he is filling her with the words (he's very good at words) she needs to hear but he is also saying to me he needs to know I'm ok.....bless.....such a nice guy, isn't he?? He has asked me if him contacting me is stopping me getting over him, if it is then he will stop but TBH every word that comes out of his mouth is helping me get over him.....I do love him and I always will but every day that passes I loose a little bit more respect for him....the crap that comes out of his mouth is unreal sometimes. I know he will be exactly where he is right now in 10, 20, 30 yrs time, he'll still be making excuses and he'll still be 'making do' with his life. Sorry if this sounds confusing but isn't that what LS is all about....It was in my head and I needed to vent...... Be kind:o I know you THINK you will always love him, but I bet you really won't. Once you allow yourself to STOP talking to him and to heal, you will get over him. Why won't you go NC? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by using you as a sounding board? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by telling you things about HIS marriage? Why? Hope ((hug)) please let go of him. Yes, you will hurt, but you will also heal.
silverplanets Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I know you THINK you will always love him, but I bet you really won't. Once you allow yourself to STOP talking to him and to heal, you will get over him. I agree .. after 4 months of NC I know I am beginning to doubt if I ever was in love with her ... or more rather that I ever saw the REAL her to be in love with ... I saw who she wanted to come across as a lot of the time I think ... Why won't you go NC? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by using you as a sounding board? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by telling you things about HIS marriage? Why? I agree as well .. if at all possible you need to put yourself first now .. he has made his intentions clear (or lack of them to you) and he should respect your right to accept that and move on ...
ladydesigner Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 xMM/MW do you always look after yourselves?? So I'm feeling a little angry tonight, maybe because my heart is still broken and I need to vent or maybe because xMM is still talking bull****!! It's been obvious to me over the last month that xMM has protected himself and his family. He has promised his W he will do all he can to work on their M and he is I'm sure but he forgot to tell her he is still in contact with me(still lying). I have no problem believing he is filling her with the words (he's very good at words) she needs to hear but he is also saying to me he needs to know I'm ok.....bless.....such a nice guy, isn't he?? He has asked me if him contacting me is stopping me getting over him, if it is then he will stop but TBH every word that comes out of his mouth is helping me get over him.....I do love him and I always will but every day that passes I loose a little bit more respect for him....the crap that comes out of his mouth is unreal sometimes. I know he will be exactly where he is right now in 10, 20, 30 yrs time, he'll still be making excuses and he'll still be 'making do' with his life. Sorry if this sounds confusing but isn't that what LS is all about....It was in my head and I needed to vent...... Be kind:o (((Hopeless4u))) I hope things start to get easier for you I am a XMOW who was dumped by the XOM and these endings are horribly painful for everyone. I truly believe all 3 of you are probably in deep pain. The best thing to do is go NC you need to send him a NC letter. I know everyone preaches it, but it really does work. My XOM used to contact me like a friend and then say things which I felt were "leading me on again." I should not have been having an A in the first place so Karma has definitely dealt me my card. Really the NC hurts like hell at first but then you start to see things clearer and maybe even begin to realize, like myself, that the person who I thought I had fallen in love with was actually NOT who I thought he was. Good luck and may peace be with you.
Zarah Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I think it's great that you are able to be realistic about the kind of person he is and that he is not going to improve because it will help you move on. You don't want him lying to you and if he does have a way with words there is no way to tell when he is sincere or when he is bull****ting. You may very well always love him, but in this case it is good to focus on the bad if only to get over him.
me003 Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I have tried NC and did it, but then again he comes and just when I am getting closer to healing he calls or emails or mails, or breaks NC. He then choses the words that take me a few steps back in my healing process. I have sent the letter, the email, had the talk and he knows I want NC to heal and hopefully get a REAL and healthy relationship. He claims how he can't leave without me yet he stays in his M because it is not the right time now. When I first came of LS I thought all the stories here were made because there was no way my XMM could be like the MM here. I was SOOOO wrong and the posts here were right. I feel stupid at falling for his charm and words, I was at a low period in my life which is no excuse, but he rescued me and became this GOD prince. I believed that he had all the best intentions for me. How I wish that I could have seen all of this then, but I was so devestated at the time that anyone would have fallen for his words and charm.
ladydesigner Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I feel stupid at falling for his charm and words, I was at a low period in my life which is no excuse, but he rescued me and became this GOD prince. I believed that he had all the best intentions for me. How I wish that I could have seen all of this then, but I was so devestated at the time that anyone would have fallen for his words and charm. Yes Masters of Manipulation THEY ARE:laugh: I believe we all fall for those words and they are that just words.
Author hopeless4u Posted January 16, 2010 Author Posted January 16, 2010 I know you THINK you will always love him, but I bet you really won't. Once you allow yourself to STOP talking to him and to heal, you will get over him. Why won't you go NC? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by using you as a sounding board? Why do you allow him to continue to disrespect you by telling you things about HIS marriage? Why? Hope ((hug)) please let go of him. Yes, you will hurt, but you will also heal. Hey FO, I don't think complete NC will make any difference to how I feel and LC does make it easier at work. I have told him he can't lean on me anymore and that I will move on. TBH I think he needed it more than me, he's in a bad place at the moment and as much as I know I shouldn't care, I do. I do still think about him but I don't wonder what is happening with them, I can't change what he does or says to his W, he chose to stay there so he has to deal with the fall out. I am feeling much better than I was, going out to a party tonight;) and looking forward to it.
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