paddington bear Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Help me out. I'm wondering what those of you in happy LTR's/marriages felt on first meeting and the first few weeks of meeting 'the one'. Did it make your day when he/she called you, did it throw you into the pits of despair when he/she didn't? Was there those butterflies and nervous, hyper feelings, lack of sleep etc? I'm asking because after a couple of unrequited situations where I had all the above and more, where you are racing on emotional energy, on a rollercoaster. All those feelings which I have associated with the first beginnings of love. But maybe I have it wrong...I'm wondering if what I felt was more of an obsession, or a crush. I'm wondering if the emotions were heightened only because they were for the wrong person, so to hear from them was extra good, because you didn't really expect it, because these people didn't offer that solid dependable, 'I like you and I ain't going anywhere' security. Anyone I've spoken to in an LTR has said it was just easy, they knew the guy liked them and there was no bull***t, no waiting for him to call etc. A friend of mine tonight is going to be going on a date with a guy who she likes but said 'but I'm not all ecstatic when he calls, and I'm not in a depression when he doesn't, so that probably means I don't like him'. But maybe (since we've both been single a long time) we've both got it mixed up and that those initial butterfly, nervous feelings of expectancy are more bound up with obsession rather than real, solid love. Maybe because we think that is 'love' or 'lust'. And when those massive highs and lows aren't there, we discount people that we shouldn't. Thoughts? Experiences? I'm so confused these days that I don't know what is normal or not any more.
Jade 02 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Well I met my man,at a party at a huge house with sliders on the beach,I pulled in his driveway,and all you could see is ocean. As I pulled in his driveway I saw this old pick ip Jeep big tres,and a winch on front,and I thought to myself now he'd be my kinda guy. Well I entered the house a dude rolling a joint looked ay me and said yes,I said oh I was invited here to a brithday, the dude sais yep its my birthday,but everyone took a ride on the boat,so we talked he was strange,but funny I LMAO( I know I din't take any hits) All of a sudden this didu 6foot 3" comes out the bed room looks like he just woke up,and we ended up talking,Laughing our asses off having fun,It was time to go he yelled his number to me,and I called it,he asked me to come to the same house,I did,Come to find out THAT WAS HIS JEEP PICK UP,AND HIS HOUSE OMG I never had nothing like this. He was a huge drunk,but sober in a prgram,now,and we went sex crazy for gosh six months,and we still are good,and it has been 15 years since i meet him I had all the feelings your talking about:),and still do
bac Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Most often these emotions are your own fantasies with which you replace the reality. Some people are more prone to highs and lows. Some people have really bad highs and lows all the time because they have the borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder. The best way to go is to be in touch with reality. In other words, you might want to get to know the person better before you have your beautiful fantasies about the perfect love with the perfect guy. It helps a lot to talk with a guy. It helps a lot to let him talk about himself. Because if you do that, you will see the real guy and his real potential for being the guy of your dreams.
D-Lish Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 When I met my ex husband, we had a date, and then we fell into a crazy romance. I never doubted how he felt about me from the first date- it was always comfortable and easy. I never had feeling of insecurity or jealousy, I never had to wonder when he was going to call because he was so consistent.
aerogurl87 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I've only felt one of those really intense love "highs" with one person, my ex. We met online and for some reason from the moment I talked to him (which consisted of him typing two sentences to me) I felt drawn to him. I didn't know why, but I did. One week after our initial conversation, I ended up being in a LDR with him although we had never met. Three months in we finally met and I felt that instant connection once again. Nothing felt wrong about being with him, it was like we had been best friends our whole lives. Problem was he's bipolar and sometimes he'd have his episodes which I put up with (to his surprise). I still love him as much as I did 6 months ago when we first broke up. We went NC for almost 4 months, up until 2 days ago when I broke it with a text. Come to find out we both love each other still, so although I'm usually a skeptic when it comes to "true" love and "soulmates", when I'm around him I can't help but feel those things may be real.
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