Ruby Slippers Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 If you have to ask a guy ANYTHING, it's a lost cause. They should be the ones asking YOU all the questions, trying to pin YOU down - not the other way around! Men don't respond well to female inquiries like that, especially at the beginning of a relationship. The man should be the open book, and you should be the mystery. Men DO respond to women who are moving AWAY from them, not toward them. My advice - be a little more distant with him - nice, but nonchalant, a little DISTRACTED, your focus definitely NOT on him. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Don't call him. Don't ask him any questions. Just try this for a few days, and see what happens! Yep. 100% correct. Most of them, as soon as they've "got" you, start to get bored.
shadowplay Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 If you have to ask a guy ANYTHING, it's a lost cause. They should be the ones asking YOU all the questions, trying to pin YOU down - not the other way around! Men don't respond well to female inquiries like that, especially at the beginning of a relationship. The man should be the open book, and you should be the mystery. Men DO respond to women who are moving AWAY from them, not toward them. My advice - be a little more distant with him - nice, but nonchalant, a little DISTRACTED, your focus definitely NOT on him. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Don't call him. Don't ask him any questions. Just try this for a few days, and see what happens! That sounds manipulative. The relationship will flop if you have to play games to get a guy interested. Also any guy who only responds to this kind of behavior won't be worth it. I used to do this, so I know from experience.
Author pandagirl Posted January 14, 2010 Author Posted January 14, 2010 If you have to ask a guy ANYTHING, it's a lost cause. They should be the ones asking YOU all the questions, trying to pin YOU down - not the other way around! Men don't respond well to female inquiries like that, especially at the beginning of a relationship. The man should be the open book, and you should be the mystery. Men DO respond to women who are moving AWAY from them, not toward them. My advice - be a little more distant with him - nice, but nonchalant, a little DISTRACTED, your focus definitely NOT on him. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Don't call him. Don't ask him any questions. Just try this for a few days, and see what happens! Though I don't necessarily believe in these gender roles, I am by nature the one who is more distant. My emotional makeup doesn't lend itself to being an open book. I only let my guard down when there is PLENTY of evidence to do so, which will take months of consistent behavior on his part.
singleguy123 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 We like each other very much, but we have only been dating for a month, been on about 7 dates. There is no pressure to jump into a serious relationship right now. I only want to know where is head is at at this point in our dating relationship. For instance, the conversation today could've been: me: "Are you still logging into the dating site because you are looking or want to date other people?" him: "Yes, I am still open to meeting other people." However, he said he was not looking. Not as good as saying: "I will take down my profile immediately," but no need for that yet. Baby steps. I do not think guys spend time checking messages for the same reasons women might. Men rarely even recieve emails, so unless they are sending them, there is absolutely no reason to still be on an online dating site. I mean seriously...A guy is looking on an online dating site but not looking?
thegreatmoose Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Men DO respond to women who are moving AWAY from them, not toward them. My advice - be a little more distant with him - nice, but nonchalant, a little DISTRACTED, your focus definitely NOT on him. Don't volunteer any information about yourself. Don't call him. Don't ask him any questions. I'd respond all right, by breaking up. These games don't work on mature men.
phineas Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 (edited) I'd respond all right, by breaking up. These games don't work on mature men. Yep. A mature secure man is content with his own company. A man with options won't waste his time with a flake. Someone that gets close then pulls away would be viewed as a flake to me or a game player. Edited January 14, 2010 by phineas
BWLoca Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I understand the logic behind waiting for the guy but...personally, I don't care to sit around waiting for him to make a decision. I don't think there's anything wrong with stating what you want/your expectations.
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