enigmaroxie Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I don't understand why my boyfriend is on dating websites when he tells me that he loves me. When I found out and let him know, he told me that he unsubscriped to all these websites. Now, checking things out, he just changed his screen name and went to different websites. Whats wrong with this picture. I seem to feel that he is looking because he doen't want to be with me anymore. He says this is not true, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, He's just looking for someone else. Kind of like a job that you dont want to be at anymore, so you look until you find one better. To me, this is the most cruel thing to do to anyone. His only worry is that I invaded his privacey. Does this truly mean he's not happy anymore, should I just overlook it, or should I do what I keep thinking to do, and just break up with him before I really find out sometime bad?:lmao:
PrettyinInk Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 how long have you been together? if he was on them before he met you, then maybe he just never canceled his memberships. are they new? did he subscribe after you got together? he should not be upset about an "invasion of privacy" unless he is guilty. based on the information i have so far, i would break up with him if i were you, it sounds really shady.
sean1970 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I assume he has a picture on this other site..? Yeah, if he is active on dating sites, that is a bad thing... Get your track shoes on and run.
sunrae Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I dont know if I would call it "cheating" if he hasnt hooked up with anyone or dated anyone from that site.. But if you are in a committed relationship, then he should have no reason to be on one. Somethings not right there. Ive been on dating websites before and have made myself "invisiable" before the membership has expired, so no one could see my profile or contact me..
MarcMann Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 he just changed his screen name and went to different websites. Well technically he hasn't cheated... yet. But his activities online are definitely suspicious. I think it would be fun to give him the same treatment. Join some dating websites and put your picture up there. And then show him all the emails you get. You could do it as a couples thing. Or you can help him out with his search online. Create some dating profiles for him and tell him you found a perfect girl for him. And then show him a profile of a girl that is way below your looks. Seriously, you should tell him that you're okay with him setting up a dating profile online. Because he is going to need it, since you're going to walk out.
norajane Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 When I found out and let him know, he told me that he unsubscriped to all these websites. Now, checking things out, he just changed his screen name and went to different websites. Regardless of whether he is cheating (yet) or not, he has proven himself to be untrustworthy and a liar. There's your big red flag that he's not a good guy and he's not concerned about whether he hurts you or not. It's not in your best interests to continue dating an untrustworthy liar, but if you do, any future heartbreak he causes you is on you. He's shown you his true colors.
Brokenhearted_girl Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Believe in what you saw. Believe in what you feel. This will save you a lot of heartache and stress in the future.
Hop_prophet Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 This is a form of cheating IMO. He is actively searching for others behind your back when he is in a committed relationship. How do you think he would react if some hot chick chatted him up when you weren't there? My guess is he would not enforce any boundaries at all. At the very least he lied to you and continued his disrespectful behavior. Either way it looks very very bad. You don't have to tolerate this.
GrayClouds Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Is it cheating? Does it matter. You deserve better and as soon as you understand that you will kick this looser to the curb.
LovelyDaze Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I don't understand why my boyfriend is on dating websites when he tells me that he loves me. When I found out and let him know, he told me that he unsubscriped to all these websites. Now, checking things out, he just changed his screen name and went to different websites. Whats wrong with this picture. I seem to feel that he is looking because he doen't want to be with me anymore. He says this is not true, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking, He's just looking for someone else. Kind of like a job that you dont want to be at anymore, so you look until you find one better. To me, this is the most cruel thing to do to anyone. His only worry is that I invaded his privacey. Does this truly mean he's not happy anymore, should I just overlook it, or should I do what I keep thinking to do, and just break up with him before I really find out sometime bad?:lmao: Don't listen to any dismissive comments. If you are in a committed relationship, you are not on a dating website to make "friends" You need to flat out tell him what you know now and ask flat out if he wants to discuss things so you two can work it out or do you need to leave him alone so he can enjoy chatting with his new gal pals? Whether it's cheating right now or not makes no difference. What does make the difference is that your bf is being insensitive to your feelings and is mainly concerned with keeping his dating profile with or without you knowing. It is time for you to not be afraid to lose him, you need to be afraid of losing yourself. Think carefully, if you don't mind your bf having flirtatious,sexual conversations(and possible hook-ups) then by all means, sit on your hands and hope that he loves you so much, he just stops doing it. But if you know you deserve real love by any means necessary, stand up. Tell him that this is not acceptable in a committed relationship and you are hurt. His reaction should be the decider on what course you need to take.
norajane Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 But if you know you deserve real love by any means necessary, stand up. Tell him that this is not acceptable in a committed relationship and you are hurt. His reaction should be the decider on what course you need to take. It sounds like she already did that once. And he told her he unsubscribed to the sites, but then just went out to new ones with a different name. He's already had his chance to make good, and he chose the lying and deception path. Why give him yet another chance? I wouldn't. He already made his choice twice - when he was on the first set of sites, and then when he signed up for the second set after she caught him and talked to him.
albertaguy Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 From me, a guy, I think he is quietly exploring his options. He may honestly be wondering deep down if you are the right one. There is no reason he should be on a dating site. There are plenty of sites out there looking for strictly friend relationships and nothing more. A form a cheating? I don't think I'd technically go as far as cheating however it is definitely unacceptable. I can be honest and say I've done the same thing. Not exactly the same type of situation, but I have been in a situation with a girlfriend and I was browsing dating websites briefly because I believed that my current relationship was on the rocks and I guess I felt like I was trying to get a head start in case I needed to move on in the near future. Not the right thing to do I know, but that's how I felt.
Silver_star Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Hes guilty of cheating, or having intent to cheat.
Silver_star Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 If he was a decent guy he would tell u he is unsure and take a break to pursue "other options". Its not fair to go fishing when he already has one in the bucket...ones enough! lol, im sorry that was lame, but i couldnt think of another analogy.
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