acac2323 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I think anout the EA everyday, even in this healing stage. Been 2 and a half months since d day...I am the h of the cheating spouse. I know she is showing me that she desperately wants to move on and is very sorry and ashamed of what she did. By actions and words... I am trying very hard to move on, but I still have thoughts of wife with om during their EA...Quality time they spent together(lunches, dinner), thousands of texts, late nite phone calls lasting for hours. All while I am deployed...I just cant get over how she could do it...Especially when I didnt see anything AT ALL coming...I know she has needs and felt like she wanted more, but to get it from a total stranger as opposed to her husband of 16 years??? Still blows me away... Just trying to cope has been harder than I thought...I go home in 40 days from this deployment. Hopefully by then I will have healed more... Done deploying thats for sure...I just wish I could stop the roller coaster.
GrayClouds Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 It is competely normal to be on that ride. Does not make it any more fun but your working through a great deal of emotions still and has to grieve a lose of trust. And the grief cycle runs on its own timeline. It help that the spouse is trying hard in action to make up for her discression. I suggest you really focus on those action to buld your confindence. And be honest with yourself and her that this is going to take a great deal of effort and support from each other. It will take time. Be kind to yourself and her. I wish you well.
gaudi Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Rollercoaster is exactly what it is mate. I've been great for a few days, telling myself and those around me what I'm going to be doing for myself to move on, coming on here and posting advice to those who need it. Then all of a sudden I can be driving and a song that reminds me of her comes on and it just takes me right back to missing her all over again. I've been NC for a month exactly today, I'm still not going to break it. But a rollercoaster is what it is. Stay strong mate.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Yep! Been on a roller coaster 6 months now, I have phases where I think I'm ok, then it comes crashing down again, pretty exhausting really:rolleyes: Hope the ride will stop at some point, but I might need to step off the ride first, if I can find a way.
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