sassygurl129 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 A little background information...I've been with my bf for almost 4 months now. We met online and when we first met, he was new to Calgary and I knew he didn't know anyone here. I also knew he talked to few girls from the site. He told me he's only met me and ever since we got serious he stopped talking to the other girls. We spend our weekends together, and whenever he's at work he'd email me and when he gets home we chat via MSN. On Wednesday night and Saturday late afternoon he would tutor for a mutual friend of ours, except he'd always be late causing my BF to be late (because my bf doesn't have a car.) So the story is, there's this girl that he claims to have only chatted a few times with on MSN and has never met her, this girl is also on his facebook and comments on his pictures and status all the time. He told me a few times that she's annoying and he ignores her, but she doesn't get the point. I finally convinced him to block her on MSN. A couple days ago this chick posted on his facebook wall and said, Chic: "Hey long time no chat, how are you? Hope all is well let's chat soon. Take care." My bf: "I am good, just been busy with work and hanging out with my gf." Chic: "FUN!!!!! Let's go out for a coffee soon." I replied: "Can I come?" Chic: "What do you think?" Me: "I don't know? I think you should invite your bf too! Should I do the honour to invite him? <her facebook status is "in a relationship"> Chic: "Do the honour." Me: "Cool! What's his contact?" Chic: "What? The invisible one?" I got a bit pissed off at my bf because he refused to make it stern with her that we're together and that he will not go out with her. He keeps saying that he feels bad, and said something about "shooting at the red cross." I trust him that he's not cheating on me. So today he deleted her off facebook and the post that she made. I went back later on to check her profile, and to my surprise she changed her status to "single" and posted her status as, "Finally it's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I am confused if it is just a coincidence that she became single after my bf deleted her or is my bf hiding something from me. Please help! Thanks.
temple Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 It sounds like your boyfriend just liked the attention he got from her. If he were cheating there's no way he would have let her be so open on his profile. It's just flattering to him that there's someone else who likes him. I really don't think that he's cheating on you. Oh, and she sounds completely crackers.
Author sassygurl129 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Thanks temple. Should I bring up the fact that she listed herself as single and the over thing to him at all?
temple Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 You could, but make sure it's in a light-hearted way. He's already admitted she's annoying so it wouldn't be as though you're in danger of 'dissing' one of his friends. However, there's not much point to doing this. She's out of your life now, no point bringing her back in.
New_Life08 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 He made it clear to her that he had a gf. He deleted her because he didn't want that drama on his FB. I think in respect for you he should have set her straight in private, and let you know and see that he did so. That is what strengthens trust. This idea of not hurting feelings is a cop out ..... deep down they like the attention.
likestolaugh Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 sounds like you manufactured a situation, and then got angry at your bf for it. I only see one response from him, which says this: My bf: "I am good, just been busy with work and hanging out with my gf." He said he was busy and has a gf. let it go.
make me believe Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Yeah, you should let this go. Your bf told her in a public forum that he has a gf. That is a good thing! It was pretty immature and unnecessary of you to comment and say "Can I come?" when she invited him to coffee. You don't need to piss on your territory like that -- it makes you look super insecure, and you don't even know if your bf was going to accept her invitation! The "single" and "finally it's over" thing is kinda strange, but if you bring it up to your bf make sure you don't do it in an accusing manner.
Hop_prophet Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 What makes you think he is hiding anything? His behavior was straight forward and respectful to you in every way. It seems like he already told you about this woman and directly stated to her that he had a girlfriend. I think you jumped the gun and refused to let him show you anything. It would be suspicious if he went for coffee with this girl without telling you, but he did nothing of the sort. He did exactly the opposite and deleted her from his FB. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Author sassygurl129 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Well I have to agree with you guys that he probably liked the attention even though he said he didn't. As for his response it was through my "encouragement." He keeps saying over and over that he feels bad and making excuses like that she's simple minded. My "encouragement" derived from when I said to him if she didn't mean anything to him, why do you feel bad for her or guilty to state that you have a gf? I am ok with him having friends of the opposite sex, as a matter of fact I keep encouraging him to go out more often with his colleagues and expand his social circle. It just baffles me when he keeps making excuses to keep this girl around. A girl that facebook stalks him and disregards his relationship status and crosses the line. As for my respond, "Can I come?" Is what it is. I was trying to see what her reaction to my statement would be, and of course she didn't care about it. Nonetheless, thanks for all your comments. I won't bring anything up and just forget about it. What worried me in the first place was her status change after. It made me wonder if he had lied about the past with this girl, and if he did I should be more aware and concerned if he does it again in the future.
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