aerogurl87 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) My ex and I broke up almost half a year ago. At first we decided we were going to stay friends until he found out I was seeing someone new and then he lost it and we ended all contact with each other. That's been almost 4 months ago. So two days ago, I was talking to my friend and telling him how I missed my ex, still loved him, and was curious to as he was. So my friend convinced me to text him, telling me there was no harm in that. Decidedly I texted him "happy new year" and a few seconds later he texted me back "who is this" (I changed my number and never gave him my new one). So I told him who I was and I was actually expecting to get either a verbal assault of some kind or for him to tell me to never contact him again. Surprisingly he just asked how I was. So we texted back and forth some for a few hours. He told me about what he'd been up to and I told him what I'd be doing. Then came the shocker. Almost out of nowhere he told me he still loved me and had thought of me everyday we didn't speak. I was speechless and I felt my stomach go into knots. I couldn't believe he still loved me after everything that had happened between us and I was pretty sure he'd moved on since me. So basically he ended up telling me that he had tried in vain to forget me and that he missed me alot. Yep, I was pretty happy. So today I texted him again to see what he was up to. He was nice and we talked briefly about the past and all the pain we'd put each other through. We both apologized to each other and told each other we forgave one another. I voiced my concerns over his actions in the past, and he tried to reassure me that he'd changed for the better since our breakup. But then when I asked him what he wanted, he said he wasn't sure, and that's where I'm confused. Yesterday he told me that I better not hurt him again which I took as a sign that he wanted to see if we could work things out again. But today, when I asked him what he wanted, he said he's unsure. I love him and I want to take things one day at a time, but at the same time I feel like he's distancing himself from me. I know he's afraid of getting hurt, but I'm trying my best to be as vunerable to him as possible. I still trust him, although he hurt me really bad when we broke up. He says he trusts me again, but he said that before as well and that turned out to not be true. I really want things to work out between us because I love him more than anyone else on this planet. But I don't know if it will work. My friend says to give him some time, and he'll eventually come around. I want to do that, but at the same time I want to talk things out with him. I can still sense some resentment and anger when we speak, although it's not nearly as much as was there before. I know he's scared, I mean I'm scared. I don't know what will happen or if we'll ever get together again. I guess I can only take things one day at a time and see what happens from there. In the meantime any advice on how to help him maybe open up more to me would be helpful. Edited January 13, 2010 by aerogurl87
carhill Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 So I'm clear, this guy's done and you're back to considering the LDR ex. If correct, moving a tad fast aren't we? At the rate you're going, I'd be halfway to the altar again before the ink is dry on my divorce papers. What's the rush?
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 So I'm clear, this guy's done and you're back to considering the LDR ex. If correct, moving a tad fast aren't we? At the rate you're going, I'd be halfway to the altar again before the ink is dry on my divorce papers. What's the rush? Yes carhill, the ex is done and we've agreed to stay friends. I never fell out of love with my ex, tried to convince myself that I was but it never happened. I know I can't jump back into "best friend mode" with him but I want to get to know him again. I want him to learn to trust me and be more open to me so we can see if things will work this time.
carhill Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Here's a key question...... did you love your ex all the way through this last boyfriend? If you did, IMO, you need to work on yourself, if you want this love with the LDR ex to work and be healthy. My advice would be to remain in touch, and progress *slowly* back to a healthy intimacy level. If you dive in, spewing ILY's and having sex, it'll blow up. Mark my words here. Others will tell you to dive in. Up to you. Having listened to the wisdom of the LS ladies with regards to my situation, I'll be curious how they respond here.
Author aerogurl87 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Carhill I think your right. I want us to get back to being good friends first and foremost and then see where things go. Oh but we kind of already told each other we still love each other, so yeah I guess that's one mistake, lol.
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