9Lives Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Well I was with my ex for 4 years. Alot happen and I made some mistakes along the way that could have prevented some of the issue we had. Me being very self centered and not really respecting him. It was definately not all my fault or anything but I did do something that was not good. Anyway, on Dec 20th we reconnected. We had been broke up for 2 months but we were off and on all year long. He was very nice and we talked about everything that happen between us. We spend new years eve together talking about everything. I apologized for everything and I told him I didnt want him out of my life. We didnt bring it in together. We have been in communication and it has been good. he has been calling and texting me. It is not one sided at all. I know that he has forgiven me and that he is over it. He is currently seeing someone but I dont think it is that serious. they got together on one of our "off" times. Anyway, We hung out last Friday and had a very good time. Talked to him over the weekend but very short on Sunday. I havent talked to him since then. It is Tuesday now. I havent called or anything cause I really dont want to be pushy or run after him. I want to let him figure things out on his own so that is why I havent called him. My understanding is that it is best to let them come back on their own. I love him with all my heart and I have been pushy in the past but I really dont want to do that again. I just wonder how you deal with this kind of situation. We are not mad at each other. We have been getting along well. He has been calling and text me but this week so far, i havent heard from him. What would you do? Everything in me says, let him come to me. But my insides, I just want to hear his voice and be around him.
Caleb Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Well first off, I'd like to say I'm sorry for what you're having to go through. Me and my g/f of four years just broke up about a week ago. I feel your pain. I'm trying to do the no contact thing myself right now and I couldn't agree more when you say you just want to go be with them and hear their voice. At the situation you're in, I would say wait it out a few more days. Maybe till the end of the weekend and then send a short text if he hasn't got ahold of you by then. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, I hope for you and me, this is true.
Author 9Lives Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Well first off, I'd like to say I'm sorry for what you're having to go through. Me and my g/f of four years just broke up about a week ago. I feel your pain. I'm trying to do the no contact thing myself right now and I couldn't agree more when you say you just want to go be with them and hear their voice. At the situation you're in, I would say wait it out a few more days. Maybe till the end of the weekend and then send a short text if he hasn't got ahold of you by then. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, I hope for you and me, this is true. Well i called him this morning and I didnt get a answer. Now I feel bad. I am giving this whole thing until Jan 17th and then I am giving up hope. I am so happy trying to make something work that may not be meant to be. It is torture. I have done everything I can to win his love and it just doesnt seem to be working. I may be being impatient but it just to hard to keep trying and wish and praying and then nothing happening. I have been so good to him and been there for him on every turn and it just doesnt seem to get any better. I hurts alot. I cant even concentrate alot of days. 17th is my last day for all this nonsense. what will be ..will be
Author 9Lives Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 He called me back after all. I am so up and down with this relationship that it aint even funny. Just crazy from one moment to the next. not good. Im gonna have to do something
gaudi Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Are you sure he's definitely what you want. Just with you saying you're up and down with the relationship. It sounds a bit like you guys are on and off with each other, a strong committed relationship takes 2 strong committed people. I think if you decide you really do want him, it's going to have to be a case of telling him so, and then seeing where he stands, if it ain't to be, then it could be time to let go............best of luck to you.
Author 9Lives Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 yes I have told him what I want and he is not ready for a commited relationship. I know that. I think I just forgot that until you just made me remind myself of that. He will spend time with me and stuff but not ready for more. I forgot.
gaudi Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 If thats the case then, I think you need to be looking elsewhere. It happens, I'm starting to look elsewhere myself now, for similar reasons.
Kizzyfur Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Are you sure you don't just want him now because you don't have him? This could be an issue. Some couples do get along better after they have split up. Maybe y'all would be better off as just friends or just letting it go completely, especially if he is seeing someone else.
sunshinee Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 if u keep calling him and seeing each other he won't be serious about you and he''ll never want to come back for good.I'm in a similar position.he's gotta lose you to miss u
Author 9Lives Posted January 15, 2010 Author Posted January 15, 2010 if u keep calling him and seeing each other he won't be serious about you and he''ll never want to come back for good.I'm in a similar position.he's gotta lose you to miss u I honestly believe you. I feel that way today. I am going to give it a shot! You are right
oneheart Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 It sounds so hard and I feel sad for you but I don't understand how him seeing someone else doesn't seem to be an important part of the picture that is bothering you here? This doesn't sound like it is ever going to be what you want. Do you know what you really want? It sounds to me like you deserve the best.... (and like someone advised me)... go and get it! xx
Kizzyfur Posted January 17, 2010 Posted January 17, 2010 it may just be that he is confused and at a point where he's trying to work out if he's ready to commit or not. Men are like that. We're more complicated than we look you know:D Though I am not a man I can second that. It took my fiancee two years and a one night stand with his ex-girlfriend to realize what he really wanted.
Author 9Lives Posted January 18, 2010 Author Posted January 18, 2010 It sounds so hard and I feel sad for you but I don't understand how him seeing someone else doesn't seem to be an important part of the picture that is bothering you here? This doesn't sound like it is ever going to be what you want. Do you know what you really want? It sounds to me like you deserve the best.... (and like someone advised me)... go and get it! xx Im still dealing with him but honest to God I feel like I need therapy. My life is so hard with or without him. I have got to figure out what else makes me happy cause sometimes I just want to kill myself. it sounds really bad but i hate what I have done to myself and that I cant stop loving a man who is not worth my love.
Recommended Posts