SoulSearch_CO Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I'm glad you guys got a chance to discuss this and I hope a resolution can come from this that brings peace to all involved. It's such a complicated situation. Good luck with your decision.
Angel1111 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Try telling that to any obstetrician. There are two distict heartbeats in her body right now. One is hers, the other the baby's. Value judgements aside, facts ARE facts Right. Facts are facts. And the fact is, Mother Nature herself gave the sole right to carry a child and give birth, to the woman. Therefore, if the woman CHOOSES to tell a man about any part of that process, that is purely her option because it's in HER body. Nature made it that way.
Lishy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have only just seen this thread OP have you spoken again since you told him? I hope you are ok
Angel1111 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I have only just seen this thread OP have you spoken again since you told him? I hope you are ok I'm wondering, too. He seemed to disappear after their conversation. Hope you're doing ok.
Lishy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I'm wondering, too. He seemed to disappear after their conversation. Hope you're doing ok. Angel you gave some great unbiased advice! I hope she is ok, she needs strength right now and support form him fingers crossed
Angel1111 Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 Angel you gave some great unbiased advice! I hope she is ok, she needs strength right now and support form him fingers crossed Thanks, Lishy!
Goodin Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I found out today I am 5 weeks pregnant. I am not in an exclusive relationship with this guy. I do not sleep with anyone else we are just not bf/gf...This is NOT a case of NO BIRTH CONTROL...the method we were using failed. I am not sure what to do...we have been growing to know each other for the last 5 months... I do not know if I am going to terminate the pregnancy or not...if I decide to terminate...do I have to tell him? Help... If I do tell him is it certainly the end of us? Yes, you have to tell him! The baby is just as much his as it is yours.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) This thread makes me sad too. I have been in this position. I told him. Initially, he was willing to do whatever I wanted. If I wanted to have an abortion, he would pay for it. He said if I had the baby he would be part of it's life. There wasn't any way his child would grow up without him. That was 11 years ago. I have a beautiful, funny daughter. She has never met her father. He bailed shortly after making the above statement. To the OP - if you don't want to know my opinion on abortion - read no further. Best wishes to you. Obviously I decided to have my child. I don't regret my decision one bit. And seeing how it was MY experience and MY choice, I think I have the right to express my opinion on abortion. Funny how all those in favor of abortion feel they can express their opinion on this thread but shout down anyone who disagrees. I considered abortion. You can't help but consider it when the pregnancy happens to you. Had I aborted the baby, I was certain I would be haunted by a voice in the night calling "mommy, mommy!" To this day, I am still certain of it. I once read "A woman has a right to do what she wills with her body. However, the body growing inside of a woman is not HER body, but is that of another human being, and she has NO right to terminate that LIFE!" I agree! We have become such an indulgent society, self-centered, and expectant of instant gratification, thinking inconvenience beneath us. Nine months of one's life is nothing when compared to one's lifetime. Good people are desperate to adopt, couples go to bed every night heartbroken that they can't have a child. What a wonderful thing it would be for a woman to give nine months of her life to give three other people a "life"time of happiness. Edited January 18, 2010 by txsilkysmoothe
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 18, 2010 Posted January 18, 2010 I found out today I am 5 weeks pregnant. I am not in an exclusive relationship with this guy. I do not sleep with anyone else we are just not bf/gf...This is NOT a case of NO BIRTH CONTROL...the method we were using failed. I am not sure what to do...we have been growing to know each other for the last 5 months... I do not know if I am going to terminate the pregnancy or not...if I decide to terminate...do I have to tell him? Help... If I do tell him is it certainly the end of us? Well, you're the woman... so you get to call the shots according to your priorities (so first figure out what those are): A- Do you want to continue the almost-relationship??? (then you do what it takes to preserve that first) B- Are you likely to have an abortion?? (rhetorical) (then that further reduces any self-perceived obligation to tell him) C- Do you want to have a child at this point in your life?? (then you keep the baby, and tell him, perhaps once you start 'showing') First figure out what YOU want. This really doesn't have much at all to do with him, or his rights, or morality. At least have a motive for any option you decide to put into play. Finally, you can always "tell him", but you can never "un-tell him".
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