mutemath Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) 1) Expressing clear interest in someone right away (flirting, kissing, etc.) even if you aren't sure of your level of interest and don't know them that well. Then continue to hang out with them and find out how compatible you are. or 2) Spending time (maybe multiple dates) getting to know someone and deciding if you like them before making a move. Which is usually more successful for dating and beginning relationships? One of my friends told me that I wait too long to figure out if I like a girl before expressing strong interest, and by the time I am interested they have already lost interest and moved on. My thoughts are that if they were really interested they wouldn't lose that even though I was slow to make a move, but if anything would hopefully know and like me more. Perhaps a bad approach, though. Thoughts? Edited January 13, 2010 by mutemath
alphamale Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 definitely #1...grab the chick then figure out the details later
melodymatters Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Well, don't GRAB me, but I need to feel a high level of interest to decide to continue on. Those dates where you feel like it's a job interview..ew..why bother ? There has to be a sense of fun, and flirtation and that anything can happen from here.....
sagetalk Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 1. will get you quantity and more 2nd , 3rd dates. But they will be dates with women you know almost nothing about and yet are in a physical romantic relationship with them. That can turn into trouble quick and lead to some nasty break ups. 2. will get you quality, but less 2nd, 3rd dates. Many will think you're boring or uninterested in them. IMO you're better off without the ones that think your boring for doing this. You're call.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 The two options you gave were black or white. How about gray? Somewhere in between? And you can flirt with somebody without grabbing them physically. Engage a woman in her mind, first. That's a huge turn-on.
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I'm a solid #2 guy... and I think its hurting me. I went on a third date tonight and we didnt kiss...though she was sick and I think we both kinda though better of giving a kiss at the end of the date... we had a nice quick kiss at the end of date 2 though.. All that being said, we already have plans for this weekend...and we are 'staying in'. so maybe we are saving it up for then;)
CaliGuy Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 #2 all the way, unless you're a player. Players take #1 because their interests isn't the future, it's "who am I waking up next to tomorrow." (Russian roulet with women -- no thanks! haha).
Peter Attis Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I prefer the (apparently banned) Scarcoon approach: go on one date, then wait two years before calling her back. No, but seriously, #2.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Ladies.. taking this as an example.. cheek or forehead? which would you prefer if illness prevents the lip option? Cheek. Forehead is fatherly, or something.
and.then.some Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) I kiss a lot of friends on the cheek, and vice versa,... I would say forehead. As for the original post... I would say somewhere between 1 and 2 depending on how you feel towards the person. I would not flirt heavily if you're still uncertain about your level of attraction and interest. I wouldn't try to move too fast, but I would try to make any present interest obvious. If a guy isn't obvious, I would assume he wasn't very interested. I went out with a guy who was very much a number 2 and I was convinced that he just wanted to be friends after a while. (Possibly just needed someone to talk to). He called a LOT, complimented me a lot, and we went out a lot, but he almost completely omitted touch. (We were going out 2-3 times per week for nearly a month, and talking on the phone at least once a day before he finally decided to try to kiss me.) When he finally did try to set the mood for a kiss I was taken by surprise. lol You don't necessarily have to rush in for a kiss, but when it's appropriate, touch is a pretty clear sign of interest. Edited January 13, 2010 by and.then.some
Bejita463 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Ladies.. taking this as an example.. cheek or forehead? which would you prefer if illness prevents the lip option? Why is her hand not an option? Some ladies dig that gesture. It has a gentlemanly quality to it that avoids the father/friend area of kisses. Well, unless you have really weird friends or a... unique father.
counterman Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 It has been called old-fashioned, kissing on the hand that is. But, I agree with you bejita, I think it is gentlemanly and very charming. I think somewhere between #1 and #2. A bit of playful teasing and bantering whilst getting to know the person and making a move after she responds to your interests with interests of her own.
Bejita463 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I come from a cold area.. we have these things on our coats called pockets that girls like to keep their hands in. *Yes I realize they wont always be in the pockets.. I just try to have contingency plans in case they are making hands not an option... unless I just pull her hand out of her pocket * Hug her first. Bam. Hands are out of the pocket.
skydiveaddict Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 definitely #1...grab the chick then figure out the details later I agree for sure #1 is the best approach
LondonS Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 definitely #1...grab the chick then figure out the details later yep #1. I doubt I,ll be interested in Long drama of someone making his mind up if he likes me or not.. too boring and no time..I normally tell guys if I like them or not straight fwd. works every time..
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