ratatashley Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I'll try to make this quick as I really would like usable advice. My boyfriend & I have been dating for 4 years; I'm 22 and he's 26. Porn has been a major issue in our relationship considering I'm not as secure with myself as I would like, and his looking at other women does not help. We have gotten in several fights about this, especially after I found emails to women he tried contacting off craigslist for sexual favors. But that is a separate issue. Sort of. My boyfriend currently lives with his 19-year-old male roommate who is breaking his lease to move elsewhere for work. He needs a replacement. We have already discussed me moving in, but would also like someone else to fill up the old roommate's room for financial reasons. It has been difficult finding someone, but today he called me to say a girl emailed him on Craigslist who is interested. She's my age, goes to the School of Architecture, works at a local coffee shop, was born in his home-state (PA) and also works part-time as a Disney princess at parties. Again, I know the insecurity is my own issue, but I'm really uncomfortable with her as a possible roommate- despite not even having met her face-to-face. Any advice? He's offered to dismiss her if I'm this uncomfortable, but then I just feel like an irrational jealous girlfriend. I'm just so nervous about her prancing around in skimpy clothes or flirting with him while I'm not around and turning into his biggest temptation. She was hired as a princess, for heaven's sake. I know prior forums say "if he's going to cheat, he will cheat" and that I can't do anything about it, but, should I still go out of my way to make sure we don't interview her as a possible roommate? And, even if she seems decent, should we accept her? I want our relationship to work.
D-Lish Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I found emails to women he tried contacting off craigslist for sexual favors. But that is a separate issue. Sort of I got stuck on this issue myself. That should have been his one strike he's out moment.
OnlyJake Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 First off, clearly you're insecure in the relationship because you caught your bf trying to cheat on you. He may also have cheated on you, and you just never found out, but I'm sure you've thought of that. Second, if you're not comfortable with a female roommate, just say so, who cares how you look? You have reason not to trust him. If you want, go ahead and interview her, just make sure that you find an excuse for why you don't want to live with her afterward. Of course, it would be better just to not interview her at all. But, you have to live with her also, and you have to be comfortable with your living situation, so don't even worry about pleasing your ****ty-ass bf.
alphamale Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 We have already discussed me moving in, but would also like someone else to fill up the old roommate's room for financial reasons. why don't u move in and pay rent?
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 We have gotten in several fights about this, especially after I found emails to women he tried contacting off craigslist for sexual favors. A leopard doesn't change his spots. Trust me. I ran into this BS with my XH and gave him one too many freaking chances to shape up. I wish I had walked and walked for good after his first ****-up. This should not ever be forgivable, IMO. a girl emailed him on Craigslist who is interested. She's my age, goes to the School of Architecture, works at a local coffee shop, was born in his home-state (PA) and also works part-time as a Disney princess at parties. Given his history, I would not find a female roommate acceptable. He clearly has no self-control and one day, this will come back and bite you in the ass and you will wonder WHY you went along with this. If you truly are set on being in relationship with this douchebag, then you need to set firm, immovable guidelines. One of them would be not even coming close to it appearing that cheating is easier. It will be if this chick moves in. No, no, and no. And if he gives you grief about it, find a real man.
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