CD111 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Well hello all, I have been dating a guy for a few months. We both have very busy schedules so really there are only a few times a week we can see each other for a few hours. Literally 4-6 hours each week. Which doesn't really bother me if we spend some quality time together. However, recently he has been blowing me off. A great example is tomorrow. We both have tomorrow night free and on Sunday we said that we would do something. Then I get a text today that said he won't be free till 9 pm due to a sporting event. WTF? Either it's working on his truck, having guys night out, sporting events or whatever. Really I am beginning to feel like a third wheel to him and all of his other engagements. Recently we had a relationship talk about what we wanted and expectations. He told me he was committed to me, wanted to continue growing within our relationship and wanted to spend more quality time with me, but his actions just don't reciprocate his words. I really don't think I am being too needy, but I do have some needs and for a relationship to grow people need to spend some quality time together. Maybe I haven't asked him the right questions....like what he is actually expecting out of this relationship. Any thoughts
sagetalk Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 If he's cheating on you, then he's lame. If he's not, then you're being a little needy. Go do your own thing too, he's not God. Go out with your friends, go out with your family, it's not rocket science. If you like him, he likes you, and he's not cheating on you, I don't see the problem. He likes to do alot of stuff including being with you.
OnlyJake Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 There's another thread I skimmed through recently where a girl's bf was making small last minute changes similar to those and the responses were that he was inconsiderate, disrespectful, and that she had taught him that it was OK to walk all over her. So I suspect that you will get some of those responses. I think that there's nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with friends. However, it's pretty ****ty for him to make plans with you and then be like oh hey fyi btw ps we can't hang out until 9pm cuz I'm chilllin with my buddies instead. I don't think you should have a "discussion" with him about this at this point. I suggest that next time you two make plans you make concrete plans - we're going to do X activity (even if it's just going over to his place) at X time on X day. And he better stick to that. If he doesn't, cross that bridge when you come to it. That advice is based on the assumption that you're OK with only seeing him occasionally. If you need more time and attention from a guy you're dating then that, maybe it's time to start seeing other people.
Author CD111 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 I am OK with the current time arrangement. I definitely don't sit at home and wait for him to call. I am definitely pretty busy during the week and weekend. Maybe I am being a little bit too needy, but at the same time I do think it's disrespectful to get blow off like that too. I agree and do think that arranging a specific time will help the problem as well.
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