Justtoodangtired Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Well, I tried. I really, really tried. However, I couldn't do it anymore. The hurt and pain were too much. He connected with the OW from his past on Facebook and after their encounter and I confronted him, he still would spend hours at a time on there. I just couldn't watch it. And I can't get over the pain of knowing he could be with another woman. I KNOW I was always there for him. I was a good partner. I certainly wasn't perfect. But I was open, honest, faithful and I loved him. I admitted when I made mistakes and apologized for them. I guess what I finally relaized is that whenever things were going rough I was always the one going to him to try and make things right and wanting to work things out. He never did. I know now, he will never pursue me. He will never say I am with fighting for. He just dosn't want it and that is what I deserve. Someone who thinks I am worth it. And wants to be with me and loves me. This is devastaing to me and crushes my heart. I struggle every day, missing him. But I have to start over. I want love and believe someday I can find it. I only wish he would've been the man I thought he was and would've wanted me as much as I wanted him. I will keep coming here for strength and taking it one day at a time. Its all I can do right now.
on1wheel Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Bravo...good for u. U deserve better; all of us that have been cheated on do. If you don't mind me asking a couple of questions: - did u2 have kids? - if so, how old? - how long were u together b4 the A? I just want to know, as my W had an A 2 yrs ago, I stayed for my 19 month old babies sake, yet I still suffer EVERYDAY; some worse than others. There are 2 types of people in this world I believe...those who are selfish & those who are selfless. The latter of the 2 types can truly be in-love; as to be so means putting the other persons needs ahead of your own. Obviously cheaters are the first group. It's always about them...what they want, what they need, their happiness...it's that simple I'm afraid. Anyway, I am sooooooo proud of you for doing what I could not; not if it meant having my duaghter be the product of a broken home. I will leave this Earth knowing I loved fully, thought of others before my self & was the best Father & Husband I could be. What will she or ur Ex be able to say of themselves???
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I'm sorry that your hurting over your decision. BUT you will feel better about it soon. alot better than you would having stayed with him, it would always be something that drove you crazy. You deserve to be free from lies, you deserve to be loved, respected, you deserve to trust in someone fully again. and IT WILL HAPPEN. You sound like you have alot to offer someone who actually deserves you. I hope that you find comfort and peace in your decision. The hurt will ease soon, stay strong!
Author Justtoodangtired Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Bravo...good for u. U deserve better; all of us that have been cheated on do. If you don't mind me asking a couple of questions: - did u2 have kids? - if so, how old? - how long were u together b4 the A? I just want to know, as my W had an A 2 yrs ago, I stayed for my 19 month old babies sake, yet I still suffer EVERYDAY; some worse than others. There are 2 types of people in this world I believe...those who are selfish & those who are selfless. The latter of the 2 types can truly be in-love; as to be so means putting the other persons needs ahead of your own. Obviously cheaters are the first group. It's always about them...what they want, what they need, their happiness...it's that simple I'm afraid. Anyway, I am sooooooo proud of you for doing what I could not; not if it meant having my duaghter be the product of a broken home. I will leave this Earth knowing I loved fully, thought of others before my self & was the best Father & Husband I could be. What will she or ur Ex be able to say of themselves??? First, I should say he is not the father of my two children. My kids are from my first marriage. But we both had two kids we brought into this relationship. We were together for four years before this happened. But I knew it was coming, as it started out with porn sites, then singles websites where he had profiles, then craiglist, and finally this OW from his past whom he met up with again through facebook. I KNOW I was and AM the giver in relatioships and especially this one. I took very good care of him in every way. No, I was not perfect, for when I get hurt, I wihdrawn for a time and then let it build and then explode wih anger and tears. But this was too much to bare. The sad thing is I miss him so much. I'd give anything to have him even want to fight for me. To come to me and say he doesn't want to lose me and be willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. However, he will never do it and that is why I had to let him go. And believe me this is not the easy route. I now have to raise my kids alone and I have to find a job after not working for years. I barely put one foot in front of the other. I try and sleep a lot because right now its too painful to do anything. But I know I will find myself again. I just need time to figure out how to heal. I hope I can continue to be strong because I do believe their is real love out there and I want it! I deserve it and my kids would rather be froma broken home than live in one. That's the one thing I know right now!
Gabriele Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Good for you!! You hang in there! Good for you for having the self respect to know you deserve to be loved and fought for! And you are setting a good example for your kids too. It is a hard road either way I think.....staying or leaving, but you have obviously done what is right for you. I hope you have some support to get you through this tough time. hugs... Gabriele
StillFighting Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I know this is not an easy decision, I am happy that you were able to make it and do what you need to for yourself and your kids. Take care of yourself. It is okay to love your husband still, but more important to respect yourself. Positive thoughts...
Maybeitsjustme Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Hi I really feel for you. my partner and i have been going through a really rocky patch but decided to give it ago, I then find msn addys and a dating website account going back 21 months. My head says theres more but i love here and for whatever reason she still here!. I really wish you well the thought of missing her is keeping me in it and I can totally understand what you must be going through I really do. You have done the right think and even if my suspicions with my partner are wrong ive been lied to big time and i should i think be doing the same as you but at the moment you've got more balls than me. I wish you luck going forward and rest assured you have done the right thing and you will find that totally loyal trusting and loving person, takecare and be kind to yourself
Jeff1962 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 You sound like a good person. I hope you find what you are looking for beyond your wildest dreams.
Recommended Posts