eljako Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Hey guys - have read advice on the site a few times - 1st time posting though.. My situation: Met a girl about a week ago - friend of a friend of a friend... We got to talking via facebook then msn, and did some chatting / flirting and seemed to hit it off. During the course of our conversation she told me she is a commitment-phobe. To be honest I didn't pay much attention to it because I find women have a lot of strange things to say when getting to know someone, looking for reactions, etc (no offense ladies). Maybe though it is a serious problem of hers - who knows. Anyway we decided to meet up for a beer. (1st date and her idea) We hit it off pretty well, spent most of the night laughing and joking around. I was my normal funny cocky self, she is much the same really. This time during conversation we talked about how we are both independant and not needing a relationship, we both agreed how it's important not to settle especially at our ages (26 and 24)... I liked this because quite frankly - needy women are a turn off for me. Anyway we left the bar, she didn't want to go home yet - wanted to go somewhere else. We just went to a sports bar for nachos...anyway this part probably isnt important lmao... After that I drove her back to her car at the original bar, leaned over and kissed her. If i had my time back I wouldn't have waited till the end of the night but whats done is done. Anyway she kissed back, seemed to enjoy it a lot. Then before she got out she kissed me again. Told me she had a great time. I think she said she looked forward to seeing me again but I can't confirm that 100% (Ladies - I know I should listen better.. lol). She waved goodbye from her car and drove away. I thought it was a great date, so the next night at around 1030 I texted her just to ask how her day went. Normally I would probably wait a cpl days then call - but the basis of our relationship b4 we went out was texting and msn conversation every day so i figured it was just normal. long story short - she didn't reply, and I was stupid enough to text her again today (the next day) said something along the lines of whats up - I dropped u a line last night but you were prob gone to bed... she didn't reply to that either. Anyway I am not gonna just text her again. But I am confused as to why she wouldn't reply. She is extremely busy, owns her own marketing company and works 70 hr weeks. But I don't think she would be too busy to reply to a text... We had talked about me cooking her dinner sometime soon. I could call / text her with a specific date and time for her to come over for dinner. I guess this would be a good indicator or how she feels.. Any advice on what to do next? Besides simply letting it go, if I wanted to do that I obviously wouldn't have bothered writing this post, haha. Thanks guys!
temple Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Unfortunately the only thing left to do is to let it go. You've left '2 balls in her court' so to speak... It's up to her to respond to you. To be honest your story suggests she does like you so I can't understand why she wouldn't respond in time - maybe she's playing hard to get...even though she's already kissed you, lol. The whole 'commitment-phobe' thing...just a ruse
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Unfortunately the only thing left to do is to let it go. You've left '2 balls in her court' so to speak... It's up to her to respond to you. To be honest your story suggests she does like you so I can't understand why she wouldn't respond in time - maybe she's playing hard to get...even though she's already kissed you, lol. The whole 'commitment-phobe' thing...just a ruse this^^^ I would say she is interested for sure...... you CANT text her again. ITS 100% in her court now.....
bac Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 I guess if a girl starts with statement that she is a commitment-phobe, she is not into you for some reason which has nothing to do with chemistry and a real meeting impression. It could be your job, income, age or smth else). Of course, it is just speculation. She might be a player as well. Therefore, she knew that you are wrong for her, but she wanted to have some fun at that night for some unknown reason. I guess if she stated that she works 70hrs, she might be just really busy or wants to train you to accept her a commitment-phobe lifestyle. You should not be surprised with her strange behavior because she gave you several clear hints at the begining.
Author eljako Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 I ended up leaving it alone, and she did text me back last night - said she had left her phone at a friends house and asked how I was doing. We exchanged a text or 2 and I asked her if she wanted to have dinner at my place saturday night. She said she was going out of town for the weekend, but how about next week. I was out with another girl last night so I didn't reply till late but said sure sounds good or something. I guess I'll wait it out and see if she bothers texting me again soon. I don't want to spark another conversation I have done that already, feel like if shes interested she should come to me this time. Will see how it goes! Maybe she doesn't want the dates to be too close together because of her commitment issues. She said she had fallen for a few "*******s" in the past so perhaps she doesn't want to get attached. I guess she will want to date someone else b4 me again and that's perfectly ok. Thanks for the advice guys!
Author eljako Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 I guess if a girl starts with statement that she is a commitment-phobe, she is not into you for some reason which has nothing to do with chemistry and a real meeting impression. It could be your job, income, age or smth else). Of course, it is just speculation. She might be a player as well. Therefore, she knew that you are wrong for her, but she wanted to have some fun at that night for some unknown reason. I guess if she stated that she works 70hrs, she might be just really busy or wants to train you to accept her a commitment-phobe lifestyle. You should not be surprised with her strange behavior because she gave you several clear hints at the begining. I don't think it would be the other issues, we earn similar incomes and I am 2 years older than her, both have our own place, etc etc - even drive almost the same car, haha. As for the player comment - could be true although I didn't quite get that vibe from her. If this is the case well it wouldn't be a complete waste.
Author eljako Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 Unfortunately the only thing left to do is to let it go. You've left '2 balls in her court' so to speak... It's up to her to respond to you. To be honest your story suggests she does like you so I can't understand why she wouldn't respond in time - maybe she's playing hard to get...even though she's already kissed you, lol. The whole 'commitment-phobe' thing...just a ruse Yes that's what I figured about the commitment phobe thing, lol. She maybe making excuses in advance for herself.. in case she doesn't want to move too fast, or forward at all? Thanks for the help
alphamale Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Any advice on what to do next? yes don't do anything....the ball is in her court
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