Aslan Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Hi there, Was reading 8 pages of "dumping" thread started about 6 months ago, and would like to post a personal experience on the NC theory. Hope we can restart the debate... I'll try to keep it as short as I can, cause it's a triple story in one. Three women in the story. Part One (First Ex) About 13 years ago, I was "dumped" by my first ex.She dumped me because I didn't love her. Well in this case she did have good reasons. It was a 4 year relationship where I started off very quickly and then braked as I noticed she wasn't the woman of my life. I was a COWARD and didn't have the courage to face the truth with her. I was unfaithfull with her with a 17 year old girl I met and even thought of leaving her for this new girl. Finally she left me, I lost interest in the 17 year old and went nuts trying to recover her. Second parts were never good, so this time it lasted six months, I went back to being uncomfortable and all I really missed was having her around, she noticed this and dumped me a second time. Went crazy this time (500 sms a day, 50 calls, stalking etc), until I decided NC. Well in this NC, my first ex started dating another woman (yeah) and I healed and realized I didn't love her. Part Two (Second ex) This one is like "Gone with the wind" movie. Two years after my NC with my first ex, and after dating 5 or 6 women (rebounds,married or with boyfriends...) I met a co-worker. She had a boyfriend, and I used all my (bad) charm to get him kicked out quite quickly (I'm not proud of it, I just fell head over heals in love, and didn't respect). First problem, she was in love with him and not with me. She was hooked on me, but not in love, she didn't even feel attracted to me, just that she loved being with me. I did'nt ming that at all, but paid dearly during the next years. Second problem, she did'nt come running to my arms, she left her boyfriend and started dating others apart from me. She even went back with her boyfriend a few time. When I THOUGHT she dated others I started NC (bit difficult when one works together) and with her it worked everytime she dumped me. Problem was she missed me but didn't love me.This went on for a few years, and then suddenly she sends me a teddy for San Valentine with her voice recorded saying she has fallen in love with me. From then on I started going backwards, like with my first ex, difference here was that this one was what I considered the woman of my life.But suddenly when she was in love, I started seeing seeing flaws I never bothered to see before. She dumped me end of 2008 saying she left me because I didn't love her.I tried to get back,changing what she didn't like about me, but first quarter of 2009 she asked for space and time. I went into slight NC. After a few months I decided to start dating. First with emotional firewalls... and I was sort of starting to forget her, but not really. Part Three (Third ex (short term)). I met another coworker, and on the first date I decided to play a dirty trick, let my second ex know I was dating someone. did'nt tell her directly, but via some family. This backfired on me. WHY? After my second date with this NEW girl, I suddenly felt emotions I HAD NEVER felt before. Hell, I was going crazy. I forgot my second ex (9 years together on/off) in two dates. I asked the NEW girl in my life to marry me after the third date. Yeah, I'm crazy. She left me after three weeks because she need SPACE. And my second ex started calling by... So, at this stage I'm looking for a Psychiatrist to sort my head out. I keep seeing the NEW girl daily, even more than when we were going out, but my second ex is there too. No, I was'nt sleeping with either of them. End of September, the NEW girl decides to give me a second chance. From being hopelessly in love with her, I now become MADLY in love with her. I keep cornering her, wanting her at all hours. She starts worrying about my second ex being around so much. I tell her there is no problem on my part. But two months later, she dumps me again needing SPACE (she did warn me a few times). So she starts dating a new guy and tells me that she does this cause she doesn't want feel the pain of "losing/dumping" me, but that this guy is 340km away so he does give her SPACE. So Year 2010, and guess what? my first ex still sms me with kisses and love (although she is now gay), my second ex now tells me that after 6 months almost NC that she is hopelesly in love with me and wants me to go live with her. And my third ex says she feels hooked on me, but doesn't love me, although her sixth sense tells her we will be together some day. Hope this is good input for a debate.
gaudi Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Don't take this as judgemental please. But did you ever get to talk to a Psychiatrist ?? If so what did they say ??
annxxdisaster Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I'm slightly curious what you want to debate.
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