lori22 Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I was looking at my xmm myspace and i think he is back with his w he has a DAMN shrine of pics of her as his layout and he wrote all this bullesh about her how in love he is it just made me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad I HATE HIM!!!!!! AND HER why would she take him back.I have so much anger in me right now i could just scream but i can't cuz im in the office AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.Sorry but I guess I hust needed to vent. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Vent away! At least you aren't mad at her, IMO. How long were you together? If you don't mind my asking. Sounds like he said somethings to you about his intentions with you and in the end, he didn't follow through. You know, though, its entirely possible that he didn't put any of those things up there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lori22 Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 We were together on and off for about 1 year and a half,then one day he just dumps me,my gut told me that would happen but my heart would not listen he told me he loved me was going to leave w for me,only to find out he and w were seperated living in 2 different homes but still legally m on paper which he NEVER told me i found out this info on my own Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 Wow. So he was separated and didn't even tell you that. He played the MM game on you to make himself more *attractive* to you, in his mind. Why would he not tell you that he was already separated? Unless he had been trying to get his W back all that time anyway. They are now back together, or is someone using his MySpace to communicate to you that the A is over? Sucks, either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lori22 Posted January 12, 2010 Author Share Posted January 12, 2010 The A has been over for awhile now i was just hoping he would come back because he's done it b4 plus i work with him so its kinda hard getting over him when i have to see him every other day and he acts like im not even in the room.But i am sure it was him on his myspace who did that or maybe even her i dont know it just was never there b4 and now it is i guess because they are back together Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I think there could be two reasons why he never told you they were separated. The first one being, he didn't want a commitment with you. By having you believe that he was still "in the marriage" you knew your place, and your place was mistress, affair partner, whatever label you want to put on it, but certainly not priority number one. The second reason may be that he was hoping for and working towards reconciliation all along. By having you believe he was still "in his marriage" he was free to wine and dine her, spend as much time with her as possible, be at her beck and call, all the while having you at his beck and call to fill the empty spaces. Either way, it sucks. Either way, he sucks for doing it, and you deserve so much better than that. So what if he made a shrine to her out of his myspace page? That doesn't change the fact that he was lying to her. That doesn't make him a better husband to her. That doesn't mean that things are all sunshine and roses between them. In MY EXPERIENCE, when people do things like that, it is more often their attempt to convince the rest of the world that all is well, when the truth is, that it is anything but!! Regardless, you know what kind of a$$clown he is now. Count your blessings that you found out now, before you invested another year of your precious life on him. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 So what if he made a shrine to her out of his myspace page? That doesn't change the fact that he was lying to her. That doesn't make him a better husband to her. That doesn't mean that things are all sunshine and roses between them. I think the bigger question here is, why the heck are you even looking at some married guy's myspace page when he's called it off with you? I get the part about hoping things could be different, but the fact of the matter is, he wasn't honest with you about not being free to be in a relationship with you because he was still married. And if he's okay about lying to you on that issue, he obviously doesn't care about you as much as he might say (or you might think) he does. you're needlessly flogging your heart when you do something like this – if he intended to be with you, he wouldn't be with her or anyone else. do yourself a favor and just let it go. He's not worth your energy anymore, and you deserve to be in a relationship where things are on an even keel. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted January 12, 2010 Share Posted January 12, 2010 I was looking at my xmm myspace and i think he is back with his w he has a DAMN shrine of pics of her as his layout and he wrote all this bullesh about her how in love he is it just made me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad I HATE HIM!!!!!! AND HER why would she take him back.I have so much anger in me right now i could just scream but i can't cuz im in the office AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.Sorry but I guess I hust needed to vent. Would you take him back? I think you would, that is why you are so upset. You even posted you were hoping he would come back.... so why are you being hypocritical about her taking him back when you wanted him back?? Why are you looking at his myspace? Because you were curious and wanted to know what is going on with him? IMHO - you need to move on from him. Looking at his myspace, facebook, etc all that stuff....it is just going to hurt you. Try to stay strong and not look at that stuff. I am truly sorry you are hurting. ((hug)) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 1)STOP looking at his myspace page. Everytime you do that, you're opening up a world of pain for yourself. It's like you're sticking PINS in your eyes, intentionally making yourself hurt more. The A is over. Be happy that you're free..TRY to grieve and heal, let go so you can find yourself again. To stay in the midst of memories and "hope", "wish" that he'll come back to you IS preventing YOU from truly healing and moving on. You'll stay miserable, bitter, upset, jealous, hurt.. All for what ??? Some MM who has NO intention of leaving his wife but is OK with you settling to be his OW on his terms, his time frame.. GET STRONG and GET MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let your ego and pride take over and get out into the world, LIVE your life! This guy, your exMM certainly is. Why are you still hanging onto him and the memories? It's over.. Time for acceptance so you can be happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Come on, guys. This is a rant! If she wants to look at his MySpace page and get upset over his loud and clear message to anyone looking for it, so be it. I mean that, Lori. I think he did it on purpose knowing that you are looking. I say be glad that you aren't his W. Who knows why they separated. But what she has gotten back doesn't sound like a prize AT ALL. Knowing what you know about his behavior towards YOU, if the roles were reversed and he stayed with you and left his W, would you feel good about him rubbing his STBXW's face in it? I wouldn't. I would feel like a pawn in his game. If you must look at his MySpace page, learn to laugh at the patheticness - which is your EX-MM. Don't join him in that pathetic state. He's no prize. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lori22 Posted January 13, 2010 Author Share Posted January 13, 2010 Well i guess i was asking for trouble looking at his myspace just curious thats all and needing to know whats going on in his life.I'm depressed and maybe im even a little crazy for feeling this way but i am still in love with him and im also hurting and hate him at the same time i could just break down and cry sometimes.I try to make these feelings go away i try to stay away from him at work i make myself get angry at him for what he did to me just so i can hate him and i do hate him but i also still love him. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 You hate him because you love him. Its a common phenomenon. If you didn't love him, none of this would matter. But because you love him and see evidence that he doesn't love you back, it hurts and makes you angry. Link to post Share on other sites
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