greengoddess Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 What are some of the more colorful lies that you know your cheating husband/wife told to the affair person. Here's a fun one. As he's out at an afternoon drink with her on the day of his anniversay, he says oh we're not even celebrating our anniversary. It's nothing to celebrate. you can drive by our house and we'll be there. Reality, He sweetly gets an overnight sleeepover for the kids at grandmoms and tells his wife he wants to just have a romantic celebration at home just the two of them. Then he comes home with champagne diamond earings and king crab legs for dinner and has a wonderful celebration for his anniversary. The wife is happy, the ow/om is happy married man is home and not celebrating. Another one. A fun family vacation. Ow is told this is not a vacation. We are going away just for the one childs sport tournament. We are going to have a miserable time together. Shows ow separate hotel room bills when he comes home and says see we don't even sleep in the same room. Reality - Awesome family vacation. Separate adjoining rooms are suggested since the kids are old enough to be in an ajoining room and husband and wife would like to have sex freely and daily without sneaking into the bathroom while the kids are asleep. Ow/om's reality are often times much much different than what the reality of the marriage is. What are some of the more creative lies you know were told?
carhill Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Since the AP is, and IMO especially significant in hetero relationships, of the same gender as the BS, it's a methodology of divide and conquer. The absolute last thing a WS wants is for the AP to see both the reality of the BS and of the marital dynamic from the gender they identify with. This 'humanizes' the dynamic. Some I've experienced: Alcoholic (they both were) Verbally and Physically abusive (never saw a mark, and words don't leave marks so no evidence) Cheating (heresay) Distant and uncaring (OK, sure) Lazy, worthless (successful person in the community) Come to think of it, all that was one BS IMO, the most creative and believable IME was that the BS's own AP died and was so distraught over the death and their connection so as to make the marriage untenable, but yet they kept going because of the kids.... The clear imperative is that the AP shall be shielded from the authentic marital dynamic so as to, with attraction to the WS, see that person in an unflinchingly positive light. The truth, as the judge often says, is somewhere in the middle TBH, I'm thankful for a life lesson I wouldn't wish upon my stbx or my worst enemy.
reboot Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 YOU missed MY point. I was asking Greengoddess what good she thinks will come of a thread like this. I'd suggest that anytime you have a problem with the content of a thread, you simply don't open it.
jennie-jennie Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I'd suggest that anytime you have a problem with the content of a thread, you simply don't open it. I'd suggest that anytime you have a problem with a post, you simply ignore it.
jennie-jennie Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 It's just a snitty little attempt at the knife twist, and an ugly one at that. Who would revel in the fact that their so-called "man" is leaving his wife to cry alone on her 50th birthday? And, moreover, want to stay with such a.....? Who wants to stay with a lying and cheating WS like Greengoddess'? Is that something to brag about? That your husband is such a liar?
reboot Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I've been absent from here for a long time now. But I see some things never change.
LifesontheUp Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 It's just a snitty little attempt at the knife twist, and an ugly one at that. Who would revel in the fact that their so-called "man" is leaving his wife to cry alone on her 50th birthday? And, moreover, want to stay with such a.....? But she doesn't stay with him though...........he won't/hasn't left his wife for her.
reboot Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Had she started the thread in the OM/OW forum, you might have something to bitch about....
Author greengoddess Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 One of the things I find most fascinating about the affair dynamic is why the ow/om stay and wait and wait. The bs is clueless to the lies and they believe their spouse and many times think all is well. I also think the ap is clueless to the lies, believes the marriage is over and that the cheater would never lie to them. They only lie to their wife. The manipulation the cheating spouse perpetuates is amazing. In both my examples you can see the married man expertly managed to keep both the wife extremely happy and the ow in the status quo of waiting for a dying marriage to end. Fascinating isn't it. I'd love to hear more stories from the betrayed spouses.
LifesontheUp Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I don't get the issue here as this has been posted in infidelity
theycallmeprincess Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I am just giving her harsh love, baby, just like you BS do on the OW/OM forum. i usually don't advocate cruel, needless remarks, but I have to be honest...When I read this reply thinking "Yeah! You go girl!!!"
reboot Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Quite frankly, I have no problem at all with tough love, for a BS or a WS or a OP, or anyone else that needs it. But this thread was obviously meant to be just a bit of fun. I guess some people are simply way too bitter to have fun.
ladydesigner Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I am both a WS and BS and I can attest that I never lied to my XOM. He knew I was married, knew my marriage wasn't the strongest, and knew that my H had cheated on me and well knew I was vulnerable. I never once told my XOM that we were doing one thing and exactly the opposite was happening. I was very honest with him. My XOM was the real liar. He use to say if he had to make a choice it would be me (not that it would have mattered I was never planning on leaving my marriage for him and I never promised that to him). My H on the other hand I am sure has told his XOW many lies about us but is still here with me. I believe he still loves me and wants to stay for the kids. I am sure he was seeking the same passion I was seeking, but I have now realized we need to keep recreating that passion. Being together for 14 years and 2 kids takes a lot out of you. We are both to blame for letting our marriage get to this point but we are now both at the point where we would like to give it another go or we will end no doubt about that. I feel sorry for the OW who keep hanging on that has got to be miserable to not have been chosen as the MAIN WOMAN that he is with. To me I wouldn't consider it to be ego boosting at all for either side in reality. My own affair and my H's A were the worst things that have ever happened. It is not something to be proud of.
herenow Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 MM spends wife's 50th birthday on a "business trip". Wife is at home crying because all the kids forgot her birthday. MM does call her - inbetween all the great sex he and I are having and the nice dinner we ate at the restaurant. I remember thinking here he is going down on me on her birthday! Greengoddess, what good do you expect will come from a thread like this? We all have stories we can tell that will hurt the other person in the triangle. I guess the lie here is that he told his wife he was on a business trip when he was really with an OW. That seems to answer the topic of this thread. My question is: How great could the sex have been if he stopped to call his wife? And why were you thinking about his wife when he was going down on you? Personally when I'm having great sex, that's all I can think about. But that's just me.
eeyore1981 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 MM spends wife's 50th birthday on a "business trip". Wife is at home crying because all the kids forgot her birthday. MM does call her - inbetween all the great sex he and I are having and the nice dinner we ate at the restaurant. I remember thinking here he is going down on me on her birthday! Greengoddess, what good do you expect will come from a thread like this? We all have stories we can tell that will hurt the other person in the triangle. LOL! I see others find this offensive, but I don't, because at least his wife doesn't know how crappy he is treating her, but you are aware of how crappy he is treating you, as he does it right in front of your face. If I had great sex with a man, and then he had to go call the other woman in his life he is intimate with before we went to dinner, I would give him a nice kick out the door. The only way I would be with a man who is dividing his time and attention between me and another woman is if I didn't know about it. :laugh:
herenow Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 LOL! I see others find this offensive, but I don't, because at least his wife doesn't know how crappy he is treating her, but you are aware of how crappy he is treating you, as he does it right in front of your face. If I had great sex with a man, and then he had to go call the other woman in his life he is intimate with before we went to dinner, I would give him a nice kick out the door. The only way I would be with a man who is dividing his time and attention between me and another woman is if I didn't know about it. :laugh: Agree! Great minds thinking alike.
ladydesigner Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 My question is: How great could the sex have been if he stopped to call his wife? And why were you thinking about his wife when he was going down on you? Personally when I'm having great sex, that's all I can think about. But that's just me. Very good point. I used to feel bad when I made a call to my H during the time I was spending with my XOM. I felt dirty for hiding something and then felt guilty towards the XOM.
NoIDidn't Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 One of the things I find most fascinating about the affair dynamic is why the ow/om stay and wait and wait. The bs is clueless to the lies and they believe their spouse and many times think all is well. I also think the ap is clueless to the lies, believes the marriage is over and that the cheater would never lie to them. They only lie to their wife. The manipulation the cheating spouse perpetuates is amazing. In both my examples you can see the married man expertly managed to keep both the wife extremely happy and the ow in the status quo of waiting for a dying marriage to end. Fascinating isn't it. I'd love to hear more stories from the betrayed spouses. It is fascinating to see the lengths they go through to do the double talk. My H told the OW that we had "the talk". That he was going to initiate it. Well, it was half true. We had "the talk" that *I* initiated because I was tired of his half-assed attempts at being married to me and wanted to know what was going on. He asked me "why I stayed with him", and I told him I wondered too. As the conversation became more heartfelt, he told me to forget about his thoughts of things not going well and that he would try harder. She didn't get that part. He only reported back that we had the talk, and that I was "ready" to divorce yet. Its the half-truths that are what really piss off both the Spouse and the OP, because it didn't have to be that way. But the MP is showing them both that they want BOTH, not either/or.
eeyore1981 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I don't know what lies my H told his thing, but here's some of the whoppers she told him. "I divorced my H because he got drunk and passed out all the time, and I just couldn't take it anymore." Reality: Her H divorced her because he came home early and caught her in bed with her boss. "I moved in with my parents so they could spend more time with my daughter." Reality: There was mold in her refrigerator and she had a meltdown for some time. Her dad said they were trying to have her hospitalized. And my favorite. "I have a 26-year-old boyfriend." Reality: Unless his name was '26-year-old boyfriend', it is highly likely he was a figment of her imagination. No one I can find ever saw him or knew his name. Including her own father, who is the one who originally told me he thought she made him up.
bentnotbroken Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 IF his lips were moving, he was creative lying. It all came out in the wash.
Recommended Posts