BettyBoo Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I have had a freind for 20 years. We have been through a lot together. However during our friendship she has lied to me about some important life issues. I have always forgiven her. However she was less than enthruiastic when I got engaged and eventually married. I thought that this was an adjustment period. However she had made some nasty phonecalls to family members and my husbands family which has caused a lot of trouble. I have ceased all communications with her but find myself having to pick up the pieces afterwards. I am still reeling from her deceitful hurtful behaviour. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how have you dealt with it?
H1N1 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I have had a freind for 20 years. We have been through a lot together. However during our friendship she has lied to me about some important life issues. I have always forgiven her. However she was less than enthruiastic when I got engaged and eventually married. I thought that this was an adjustment period. However she had made some nasty phonecalls to family members and my husbands family which has caused a lot of trouble. I have ceased all communications with her but find myself having to pick up the pieces afterwards. I am still reeling from her deceitful hurtful behaviour. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how have you dealt with it? I'm not trying to be sexist, but honestly, I think it's almost exclusively a female thing. I think women seem to compete with each other a lot more than men do, and unlike men, that competitiveness is somewhat concealed. Men compete but the competition is understood and typically, the feelings aren't as hard among men. Women, on the other hand, pretend to be friendly and act like it's all good on the surface, but for some women, when a good friend gets engaged before they do, it's on. Sounds like your friend was competing with you - whether you realized it or not - and can't stand the fact that she got "pwned".
Author BettyBoo Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Thanks for your insight. It may be a female thing I dont know. But it has been a very damaging and hurtful experience. My husband is shocked at her conduct and I feel it was all such a waste. I realise I was blind to her behaviour or chose not to see it when we got engaged/married. I just hope others can learn from my experience.
Jade 02 Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 Jealously or either that she is upset to loosing you too a man,and might be a bit ipset that you 2 will not be nimber one again,as she believed you two always were. Could be anything she sounds a lil wierd anyways to you for a long time,It's your time to move on now CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!! I have dealt with it with his EX calling EVERYDAY starting stuff because they have a son together,and my hubby has paid way more than he should of each month till he was 18,now son gets the money. Ex goes through me to get info about her EX husband HA SE YA!!! Sorry ya gotta deal with her,sounds like a Lifetime Moveie Network movie.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 I've seen guys (brothers) do equally as retarded things in terms of acting immature when one or the other got something the other wanted (like a gf, marriage, house, etc.) I've always chalked it up to jealousy. Losing a friend is just like breaking up in a relationship, and it hurts. That's ok, it's supposed to hurt. You will heal and move on like from any other break up you have been through in your life. I recently went through the same thing. She couldn't understand why I wasn't insanely jealous of her because she got married and I'm older and still single. It hurt for a few months when she walked out of my life, but now I can breath again. I'm not walking on eggshells trying to please her, and I'm DRAMA free. Phew!
blueyedgrl85 Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Ah, the case of the good ol' "green eyed monster" otherwise known as jealousy. You're not alone- I'm sure everyone has had a friend like her. You have done nothing wrong and even though it hurts because you have known her for so long, it is best to move on with your life. Your friend is insecure, jealous, has low self-esteem, incredibly self-absorbed, and has attention-seeking issues. She is trying to pull you down with her, since misery loves company. But it is best to cut ties and meet new people. You deserve to have better people in your life.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 I'm not trying to be sexist, but honestly, I think it's almost exclusively a female thing. Unfortunately, I have to agree. As my BF would say, "it's just b*tches being b*tches."
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2010 Posted January 16, 2010 However she had made some nasty phonecalls to family members and my husbands family which has caused a lot of trouble. CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE. She is no friend..Anymore. Maybe she was before, but her actions are diguisting and immature. You don't need her in your life, stirring up crap and problems. She sounds dramatic and petty, even more reason to get rid of her as she will suck you into her insecurities and issues.
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