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Girlfriend cheated with my best friend Should I save the friendship

bluestraps

By bluestraps
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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bluestraps Established Member

bluestraps

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What a mess I have on my hands. Old life , new life.

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Cant make paragraphs
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bluestraps Established Member

bluestraps

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Girlfriend cheated with my best friend. Should I save the friendship My instinct is to run far far away. But I feel like ruining things for my ex and my friend. I wonder if this will last. If my ex and my friend breakup can I go back to being friends with him.My posts are all over LS.. What do I do My friend, 10 + years did this to me ? . My ex girlfriend has cheated before and I took her back. I still love her and am staying away for now , no contact !!! With either of them. Now I think he was always less than a friend to me , Maybe He is just a user. Some of our mutual friends think he uses people for money, rides ect.. We go way back , have mutual friends. And now I wonder whos really at fault. My friend could have done the ethical thing and put our friendship before his primal carnal needs. Yea right !!!Although It seems that she was the one who was chasing, I think he also has some ulterior motives because he knows some of the history of my ex and I . He has been alone for some time, and he kind of always had a sneaky side to him. Basicaly she told him we were broke up. So I guess he just thought it was o.k. The act happened, and the next day my girlfriend called me and told me .Lets say I did not let this stand!!! The day was hard . I demanded we all 3 get togther, I tried to get her to drop him and get back on with our relationship. Its so dumb. I now regret making the mistake of us all three hanging out. They started geting closer about 9 months ago. He is not really her type, physicaly or in personality. Although they do have some things in common They never got together without me. And I completly trusted him and to be honest, her too. It gets me because if he only saw her as a friend Like I thought, he would not have done this . If seemed like a brother / sisterly relationship and its like he never showed any interest until recently ??. Maybe I didnt protect my relationship well enough. Also as all couples do we had our moments of lows, highs, and problems. But you need to be able to trust your partner in all situations. I am loyal as they come. I think I would be well advised and anyone else to stay away from any friend or girlfriend who does this. Its unforgivable. The thing is it's really making things very intense. People know about this. My parents know, Her parents know. I feel like everything has spun out of controll. I find myself finalizing the fact that our friendship / relationship is over. I really cant stay friends with him anyway because She now lives with him Both of them has made this situation the way it is I have tried to explain my situation the best I can .

Bryanp Established Member

Bryanp

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The answer is NO to both of them. First, your girlfriend is a serial cheater. She cheated before on you and you took her back. She now does it again with your best friend which is a double betrayal and moves in with him. Her actions show that she does not respect you at all. Your best friend clearly was no friend to you and his actions are despicable.. They are both selfish users.

 

For you to even think about taking her back is crazy. She cheated again on you and dumped you to move in with your best friend. Do you really need to have a piano fall on your head to see what kind of a person she is? You would have to be a masochist to even think about this. You need to find new friends and certainly a new girlfriend who would respect you and a relationship which is something your girlfriend clearly never did. I would never talk to both of them again. I wish you luck.

mark982 Established Member

mark982

Posted
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never speak to either again. your former gf's a ho simple as that. but for a friend to go behind your back, and to this to you speaks volumns about him.

DeSantos Member

DeSantos

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Something very similar happened to me years ago, and I said 'no' to the both of them and let them carry on their relationship and never looked back. The girl had cheated on me before getting with my friend and I had some sort of incline. Dude, you need to see this as a blessing in disguise, which really it is. You are now free of two people that have no respect for you, you may think that you really want this girl back but now just think of the uncertainty that your so called friend now has on whether this girl will be unfaithful. That weight is off your shoulders now. Dude, there are so many females out there that you can no advance to ! Your so called friend now has to contend with one that is already tarnished. I wish you well, and if you follow the correct advice then like the cliche says, time will heal all and you really will look back on it like I am and think, "thank the lord, that was a close shave" !

Space Ritual Established Member

Space Ritual

Posted
Posted
Girlfriend cheated with my best friend. Should I save the friendship My instinct is to run far far away. But I feel like ruining things for my ex and my friend. I wonder if this will last. If my ex and my friend breakup can I go back to being friends with him.My posts are all over LS.. What do I do My friend, 10 + years did this to me ? . My ex girlfriend has cheated before and I took her back. I still love her and am staying away for now , no contact !!! With either of them. Now I think he was always less than a friend to me , Maybe He is just a user. Some of our mutual friends think he uses people for money, rides ect.. We go way back , have mutual friends. And now I wonder whos really at fault. My friend could have done the ethical thing and put our friendship before his primal carnal needs. Yea right !!!Although It seems that she was the one who was chasing, I think he also has some ulterior motives because he knows some of the history of my ex and I . He has been alone for some time, and he kind of always had a sneaky side to him. Basicaly she told him we were broke up. So I guess he just thought it was o.k. The act happened, and the next day my girlfriend called me and told me .Lets say I did not let this stand!!! The day was hard . I demanded we all 3 get togther, I tried to get her to drop him and get back on with our relationship. Its so dumb. I now regret making the mistake of us all three hanging out. They started geting closer about 9 months ago. He is not really her type, physicaly or in personality. Although they do have some things in common They never got together without me. And I completly trusted him and to be honest, her too. It gets me because if he only saw her as a friend Like I thought, he would not have done this . If seemed like a brother / sisterly relationship and its like he never showed any interest until recently ??. Maybe I didnt protect my relationship well enough. Also as all couples do we had our moments of lows, highs, and problems. But you need to be able to trust your partner in all situations. I am loyal as they come. I think I would be well advised and anyone else to stay away from any friend or girlfriend who does this. Its unforgivable. The thing is it's really making things very intense. People know about this. My parents know, Her parents know. I feel like everything has spun out of controll. I find myself finalizing the fact that our friendship / relationship is over. I really cant stay friends with him anyway because She now lives with him Both of them has made this situation the way it is I have tried to explain my situation the best I can .

 

 

Delete both of them from your life today.

seibert253 Established Member

seibert253

Posted
Posted
never speak to either again. your former gf's a ho simple as that. but for a friend to go behind your back, and to this to you speaks volumns about him.

 

^^^^^

This

No further comment is necessary

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bluestraps Established Member

bluestraps

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Only thing is we have one mutual friend . He is someone I do trust and I do consider as a life long friend. So now I possibly will always know what the outcome is with my ex and ex friend. It is something I will in one way or another face. In many ways I cant help waiting to see what eventualy becomes of them.

 

It was very much a surprise. I must note that it's more than just cheating . At this point she felt he is what she wants. Its not as she thought she could do this and still have me.

 

My friend had the nerve to tell me that he would help me get through this. The actions I have taken since this started should indicate that I neither forgive them nor plan to give them the advantages that my friendship can offer.

mark982 Established Member

mark982

Posted
Posted

you're going to have to tell your dreind that you don't want to know anything about them. i do agree with you that it's more than the cheating. it's about the lack of respect, and destroying the trust you had in them. hold you're head up high and move on.

paleblue Established Member

paleblue

Posted
Posted
delete both of them from your life today.

 

plain & simple.

AAlike Established Member

AAlike

Posted
Posted

Chalk one more up for the excommunication camp.

 

I am generally a little more lenient than many in this forum, but there is really no way to sink lower than to mess with a friend's girlfriend. I remember back in my single days I ran into a friend's ex once - I always thought she was kinda cute and she had dumped him over two years ago at the time (and with good reason, honestly, I love the guy but he was a pretty big slacker which I know frustrated her). They hadn't even spoken in a year and a half, and she was flirting with me extensively, I mean no subtleties. yet I still refrained from pursuing anything just out of respect for my friend, even though I would not have been doing anything that was clearly disloyal. I can't even imagine doing something like that while they were still together!!

donnamaybe Established Member

donnamaybe

Posted
Posted
never speak to either again. your former gf's a ho simple as that. but for a friend to go behind your back, and to this to you speaks volumns about him.

 

Agreed, and agreed.

AAlike Established Member

AAlike

Posted
Posted
Agreed, and agreed.

 

I don't know that the Notorious K.I.M would agree that she's a ho...haha...

 

but to close, there are millions of girls in the world. I don't think that it's too much to ask to eliminate friends' current and former girlfriends from one's dating pool.

phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
Only thing is we have one mutual friend . He is someone I do trust and I do consider as a life long friend. So now I possibly will always know what the outcome is with my ex and ex friend. It is something I will in one way or another face. In many ways I cant help waiting to see what eventualy becomes of them.

 

It was very much a surprise. I must note that it's more than just cheating . At this point she felt he is what she wants. Its not as she thought she could do this and still have me.

 

My friend had the nerve to tell me that he would help me get through this. The actions I have taken since this started should indicate that I neither forgive them nor plan to give them the advantages that my friendship can offer.

 

If one of my friends did that to another friend he'd be dead to me.

 

In fact this happened more than 15 yrs ago in my group of friends & NOBODY talks to the guy that stole anothers GF.

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