carhill Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Do guys prefer to date women who are more educated than themselves, or less educated? TBH, as I've dated the gamut, I'd prefer a lady with a good solid primary education (like college-prep) and a great EQ and comparable IQ, and preferably one who's self-employed. What I've noted about women my age with college degrees is that they're very specialized, and, personally, I find a generalist to be more compatible; someone with a broad experience and education and a quick-thinker. Think Swiss Army knife When younger, I put no weight whatsoever on education. Life and marriage taught me a few things...
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Not strictly true. I know that for me, I have qualifications that have enabled me to develop my career but have since gained more just for personal interest/devlopment. I have therefore been able to commit to my career development yet have also been able to commit myself to learning new things that are completely unrelated to my work. I was thinking more about people in their 20's who have 3 unrelated degrees and next to no work experience.
Mr White Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Over- or under- educated, this is a variable that just doesn't matter that much for the quality of the relationship. Qualifying for a good relationship requires an entirely different set of credentials.
Mr White Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 The problem is not their education but rather the air of superiority that such women often carry themselves with. Although I'm quite well educated myself, I simply cannot stand people who think education makes them superior to the 'unwashed masses'. Yep, nobody is more deserving of love just because they are more educated (or prettier, or richer, or more anything) than the next person, but that's a point easily lost when people become angry when they're not given all the love and affection in the world just because they've stayed longer in school.
Ninita Posted February 22, 2010 Posted February 22, 2010 Wow, why is feminism a problem? I've never heard that one before. In fact I've heard guys say the complete opposite, that is nice to be with a girl who has high self-esteem and respects herself, rather than one that thinks all she is valuable for is her looks and how much a guy likes her and so she's insecure all the time. Besides feminist girls believe in equal partnership and in my experience (with feminist friends) that is good for their boyfriends too because in general they are not going to demand impossible things (which they wouldn't be willing to give themselves) or just want a guy to make them look popular. Besides they have opinions but they'll also really respect a good guy when they find one because that has ideological value for them. This is what my friends' boyfriends say at least. And I don't doubt they are right. Then again, people who don't know much about this tend to think that being feminist means you hate men and don't shave your legs, which is complete BS of course.
Woggle Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Wow, why is feminism a problem? I've never heard that one before. In fact I've heard guys say the complete opposite, that is nice to be with a girl who has high self-esteem and respects herself, rather than one that thinks all she is valuable for is her looks and how much a guy likes her and so she's insecure all the time. Besides feminist girls believe in equal partnership and in my experience (with feminist friends) that is good for their boyfriends too because in general they are not going to demand impossible things (which they wouldn't be willing to give themselves) or just want a guy to make them look popular. Besides they have opinions but they'll also really respect a good guy when they find one because that has ideological value for them. This is what my friends' boyfriends say at least. And I don't doubt they are right. Then again, people who don't know much about this tend to think that being feminist means you hate men and don't shave your legs, which is complete BS of course. To most men feminist is synonomous with misandrist. The original definition of feminism is a great thing but what it has been perverted into is something no self respecting man will support.
Lindarose84 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I'm a JD and my bf doesn't even have a BA. We're WORLDS apart. At first I thought it would bother me in terms of conversation topics but now I realize I was being completely foolish to think I only had to date men who were my "educational equivalent." Thinking back, the men I actually dated with the JDs and the MDs and the MBAs were pretty arrogant and condescending of others who may not have had the same privilege to obtain the same education. Couldn't deal with the ego on these guys. Major turn off. Not to mention, the topics of conversation were pretty much always work oriented which got boring fast. I find that with my current boyfriend, I don't take myself too seriously nor do I feel like I have to prove something. He accepts me as I am. He does love telling his friends and family about how he's dating a lawyer who went to these fancy schools I'm flattered by that. So obviously he doesn't care about dating an "overly educated woman." On a side note, I don't know if I'd want to marry someone that was "overly educated." Can you imagine that debt we'd both bring into the marriage?? At this point, my debt alone is enough.
Wallace1 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Intelligence comes in many forms, and is not accurately reflected in which school's seal is on your diploma. The level of formal education someone has is irrelevant to me, but rather its the content and spirit of their thinking that I'm interested in. That said, if someone isn't at least close to an intellectual equal, I've found it very difficult to sustain a long term relationship.
Mary3 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 To most men feminist is synonomous with misandrist. The original definition of feminism is a great thing but what it has been perverted into is something no self respecting man will support. Is your wife emotionally intelligent ?
Woggle Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Is your wife emotionally intelligent ? Yes she is.
Shannie Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 ...many (but not all) 'overly educated' women lean towards feminism, which is a huge turnoff in and of itself. Haha...clearly, you're a tosser. I guess strong women must frighten you a bit. Bless.
Woggle Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Haha...clearly, you're a tosser. I guess strong women must frighten you a bit. Bless. Why would any self respecting man not be turned off by women who have an axe to grind with men. This whole being afraid of strong women thing is some stuff women bring out when men don't want to deal with the drama that certain women bring.
blind_otter Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Personally, I haven't really experienced that, but my college degree is a respectable one that takes a lot of work. I think it all depends on the person. There are men and women that think their degree makes them better than someone else, but I've met plenty of arrogant pricks that barely made it out of high school, too. I've encountered it all over the place. I live in a university town, though, so a lot of people who are on, shall we say, permanent moratorium, tend to settle here, accumulating degrees and student loan debt and arrogance while never actually achieve much of anything in real life. Personally, though, regardless of the level of education - I require than anyone I associate with obtained an education from the "School of Hard Knocks". If you haven't lived life in the real world, I have nothing to talk about because I've had a tough row to how in real life. I've got a degree, am in the works to take some post-bacc classes and go back to grad school....but to be honest with you, real world and real life experience are more important to me. I think anyone who had a more sheltered, protected life, even if they are book smart, would not be able to relate to me well.
Knittress Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Why would any self respecting man not be turned off by women who have an axe to grind with men. Seriously, guys. Feminist does NOT necessarily equal b**ch! Maybe she just feels she ought to pay her own way and maybe open doors for YOU every once in a while.
Shannie Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Why would any self respecting man not be turned off by women who have an axe to grind with men. This whole being afraid of strong women thing is some stuff women bring out when men don't want to deal with the drama that certain women bring. That's true, but "strong woman" doesn't necessarily equate to crazy bitch with an axe to grind. It certainly shouldn't do! As far as I understand it, it just means a woman who can look after herself. And not all feminists have issues with men...I consider myself a feminist, but I don't dislike men - I just want to paid the same when I do the same job as a man, etc. I only take issue with things that are clearly misogynistic, such as saying that a woman wearing a short skirt who gets raped "had it coming" or was "asking for it". As for the drama - men shouldn't have to deal with it from women any more than women should have to deal with it from men. It's just a stupid way to behave.
Mary3 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Why would any self respecting man not be turned off by women who have an axe to grind with men. This whole being afraid of strong women thing is some stuff women bring out when men don't want to deal with the drama that certain women bring. Here we go again : I don't know alot of women who sit around saying " God I hate men. I would love to rub their testicles in honey and feed them to the ants. "
threebyfate Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 "I would love to rub their testicles in honey and feed them to the ants. "Hey, don't disparage other people's sexual needs! (Classic Loveshack, no? ) I strongly encourage people to read up about third wave or new wave Feminism. It's all about doing it for yourself, rather than the victim's attitude of "he or society done me wrong". The mission statement is more like the Nike slogan of "Just do it", with the emphasis on taking personal action towards self imposed goals. It's a lot of common sense, in that the more you achieve your goals, the more you gain confidence in yourself, as an individual and as a woman. That dovetails quite nicely into the thread topic of women who believe and strive towards education. There's no such thing as an overly-educated woman or for that matter, an overly-educated man. Most often, you're going to find that educated individuals gravitate towards each other, since they have similar beliefs towards mind expansion. So, if you're an educated woman, there will always be educated men who find you attractive. For that matter, there will always be men in general, who find a woman who seeks knowledge, attractive. Turn that around and you're also going to find educated or non-educated men who don't find an educated woman attractive. It's all part of the attraction process, where preferences are usually driven by foundational values and also, insecurities of each individual. And for that matter, there isn't an adult individual in this world, who doesn't have insecurities or baggage of some kind.
Mary3 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 I never gave it much thought as to who I was in terms of a feminist or not...Not totally sure what a feminist is exactly. I just know I like being independant and have been since a young child. That was born inside me . I think you are either born clingy and needy or very self intertaining and independant ( hence artist ) like me. ( Don't throw rocks , I realize there are certain degrees of independance and dependancies in the other direction ) But I never sat around and gave all this as much thought as Woggle . All consuming Woggle is just not good . Why not focus on other aspects of your life instead of all the fem-nazis that might want you impotent ?
PrettyinInk Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 The problem is not their education but rather the air of superiority that such women often carry themselves with. Although I'm quite well educated myself, I simply cannot stand people who think education makes them superior to the 'unwashed masses'. On top of that, many (but not all) 'overly educated' women lean towards feminism, which is a huge turnoff in and of itself. I think most educated women lean towards "women's rights" which often times is confused with feminism; education breeds awareness of the gender inequalities that are still prevenlant today just my opinion.
1_trick_pony Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Sadly I think the term and notion of feminism has been hijacked with the thought of Femi-Nazi. I have an advanced degree, a career and consider myself a feminist because: - I want the right to have control over my reproductive choices. -I want the choice of who I marry and date, or if I marry or date at all. -I want equal protection under the law. -I want to have a voice in my local, state and federal government. -I want the right to work and earn my own money. -I want the right to make my own choices with the money I earn. -I want equal pay for equal work. -I want equal consideration for jobs that I can perform as well as anyone else. -And personally being an athlete I strongly support title IX It's easy to say this is already law and these things can be taken for granted, but not everyone lives in progressive societies, countries, religions or even households where these are not considered inalienable rights. I consider myself a feminist and I also take great satisfaction taking 'traditional' female roles, having dinner ready for my man, doing his laundry, having dinner waiting for him, etc. The point is not not doing those types of things, it's having the choice to do them and who you do them for.
Mary3 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Sadly I think the term and notion of feminism has been hijacked with the thought of Femi-Nazi. I have an advanced degree, a career and consider myself a feminist because: - I want the right to have control over my reproductive choices. -I want the choice of who I marry and date, or if I marry or date at all. -I want equal protection under the law. -I want to have a voice in my local, state and federal government. -I want the right to work and earn my own money. -I want the right to make my own choices with the money I earn. -I want equal pay for equal work. -I want equal consideration for jobs that I can perform as well as anyone else. [/s]-And personally being an athlete I strongly support title IX It's easy to say this is already law and these things can be taken for granted, but not everyone lives in progressive societies, countries, religions or even households where these are not considered inalienable rights. I consider myself a feminist and I also take great satisfaction taking 'traditional' female roles, having dinner ready for my man, doing his laundry, having dinner waiting for him, etc. The point is not not doing those types of things, it's having the choice to do them and who you do them for. I agree with all you want above. In the case of a man like Woggle : I am sure he wants to be paid the same as others. Wants to decide on a Vasectomy or not. Wants all the same rights as all Americans ( assuming he is American ). So if he wants equal things and women want equal things then whats the problem Woggle~ness ?
Woggle Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 No woman deserves to be raped and people should be according to their quality of work and not their gender. Here is where I differ with feminists. If a woman physically assaults a man she should be held accountable just like a man is I feel that fathers or at least a positive male role model are important in the lives of both boys and girls I don't think that all men deserve to be treated like garbage because your father cheated on your mother I feel that relationships should be based on mutual love, respect and admiration and not on fighting a gender war I don't think that a woman degrades herself by treating her man well. All these things seem like common sense to me but whenever I have expressed these views in front of a feminist I get called a misogynist.
anne1707 Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 No woman deserves to be raped and people should be according to their quality of work and not their gender. Agreed Here is where I differ with feminists. If a woman physically assaults a man she should be held accountable just like a man is Agreed I feel that fathers or at least a positive male role model are important in the lives of both boys and girls Agreed I don't think that all men deserve to be treated like garbage because your father cheated on your mother Agreed I feel that relationships should be based on mutual love, respect and admiration and not on fighting a gender war Agreed I don't think that a woman degrades herself by treating her man well. Agreed All these things seem like common sense to me and to me but whenever I have expressed these views in front of a feminist I get called a misogynist. Problem is, Woggle, is that you might well class me as a feminist (amongst other things ) yet I certainly would not class you as a misogynist for having these beliefs.
hats Posted February 23, 2010 Posted February 23, 2010 Just skimming the thread but... IMO it's usually not about arrogance or intelligence or feminism, etc. It's about being in a relationship where a man feels respected for his competence. I think that's a big part of what makes relationships emotionally fulfilling for men. And there's few things that are tolerated less than a woman (or anyone for that matter) who makes a man feel incompetent (whether fairly or unfairly, intentionally or unintentionally). I think men are just much more sensitive to that than women are. So I would say that if a women is much smarter than the man it's not necessarily the fact that she is so smart, it's just that it's much more likely that he'll frequently feel incompetent and most men can't/don't want to deal with that.
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