Crazy Magnet Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I am currently dating a PhD student from UC Berkeley. I only got a bachelor's. I don't know what she sees in me. Besides the obvious... I mean c'mon! I find that overly educated women to be attractive. I however, do not like it when they are arrogant about it! This is a lot like me and my new bf. I'm getting my PhD from a top 10 school, and he has a BA...incidentally from the same school. I personally don't care that I'll have a higher degree, and he doesn't care either. He's just as smart as I am. The difference in degrees only represents different career paths. That's my take on it anyway. That said, I can't make it work with a guy who only has high school. They just never "get" the driven/school oriented part of me.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 That said, I can't make it work with a guy who only has high school. They just never "get" the driven/school oriented part of me. Yep, I agree with this. They have the attitude that education is a waste of time and going to school is BS. Therefore we are completly incompatible.
Author Vintage79 Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 I was going to say the exact same thing about men, I don't care about titled I care about those qualities mentioned above. Vintage79 I think you are stuck in labels and certificates, which is fine for you if it works, personally I think that's kind of stupid. Some of the most neurotic unstable people I know in terms of relationship material, also happen to be MDs and PhDs, and if they are in the mental health industry, FORGET IT! Read the MD thread about the woman who likes to be pissed on. A title doesn't mean they are better human beings it just means they studied harder to get a better career. Well, I don't explicitly screen for the degrees I mentioned...I mean, what do you do, walk into a bar and ask them if they went to Princeton for Undergrad than got a Harvard PhD - good luck. For me it's really how the person thinks - do they need the degree, absolutely not, but such an education generally fosters, or at least self selects individuals for certain ways of thinking - I'm think I'm drawn to a particular thought process, that's just highly concentrated in select groups in individuals.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Well, I don't explicitly screen for the degrees I mentioned...I mean, what do you do, walk into a bar and ask them if they went to Princeton for Undergrad than got a Harvard PhD - good luck. For me it's really how the person thinks - do they need the degree, absolutely not, but such an education generally fosters, or at least self selects individuals for certain ways of thinking - I'm think I'm drawn to a particular thought process, that's just highly concentrated in select groups in individuals. You know Vintage that under 1% of people over 25 has a PhD in the US. That includes men too. Then if you go on to narrow this to PhDs from Harvard or similar, well I do not like your chances.
meerkat stew Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 More into level of accomplishment in whatever field and enjoyment of work, less into paper on the wall. Degrees themselves are so overrated, it's what you go out and do with them that matters.
CaliGuy Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Personally I love INTELLIGENT women. Doesn't matter if she is overly educated or not. If she can carry on an intelligent conversation, that's a turn on to me.
Johnny M Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 More into level of accomplishment in whatever field and enjoyment of work, less into paper on the wall. Degrees themselves are so overrated, it's what you go out and do with them that matters. Exactly!!!
meerkat stew Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 My degree only got me in debt I feel bad for contemporary college students, and especially for parents. My entire four year college education in the 80s, including -all- expenses cost under 25k at a private university. Could have gotten out under 10k at public. Three year law degree cost six times that in total expenses only twelve years later.
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 My degree only got me in debt I was on scholarships so at least I didn't burden my parents with my (earlier) education.
lord alfred douglas Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I feel bad for contemporary college students, and especially for parents. My entire four year college education in the 80s, including -all- expenses cost under 25k at a private university. Could have gotten out under 10k at public. Three year law degree cost six times that in total expenses only twelve years later. Yeah tell me about it I'm 35 so when I first started college it wasn't bad, but I went back and finished late and then started a graduate program in LIS that I never finsished and I owe like 16 K that never seems to go down My grandfather came to Chicago from Cuba....barely literate...worked in a factory for like 6 years and then got a small business loan and opened a liquor store He paid off that loan within a year and retired a millionaire less than 20 years later Why isnt that kind of stuff taught in school?
fral945 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 In regards to you thread title, most of the time, yes, an overly educated woman is a turn-off to me (I'm going to assume you are talking about a formal, university education in this thread). IME, they tend to be more career driven and less relationship and family oriented. In more cases than not they tend to have an inflated sense of self worth because of their education. I won't say I'd never date an overly educated women, but I generally shy away from them. Do guys prefer to date women who are more educated than themselves, or less educated? I prefer to date someone around my education level. Not too much smarter or too much dumber. Education is somewhat important in that I probably wouldn't have a lot in common with either a high school graduate or a PhD, but as long as they have the other, more important qualities I look for, then I could probably deal with either one. Thinking about the men I know, most of them chose women who were not as educated (as far as degrees are concerned). My parents would be the exception in that my mom has a masters and dad has a bachelors. But my mom got her masters later in life, so when they were dating and married they were on fairly equal grounds as far as education goes. Generally speaking, I don't think men put as much importance on education as women do.
phineas Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 My buddy dated a psych major. She analized all his friends err I mean put us all down by telling us we were children & neanderthalls. He brought her to my place for the footbal game & she walked around my apartment pointing out which of my stuff was toys. She did it to my buddy also. I sort of zoned her out when she got to the bikini torso universal remote with the flip up top & the nipple channel up/down buttons. We were in our early 20's. either she was educated beyond her inteligence or she was just crazy. He wound up kicking her to the curb when he tried to get some play on the 3rd date & she was asking where he thought their relationship would be in yr.
DiscoChick Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 There is such a thing a overly educated. For example, what about those people who have Bachelors degrees in 3 unrelated fields? It shows indecisiveness and inability to commit to something. I find it weird that you don't know me, yet know so much about me! I call it exploring. I just keep hitting walls at the end of the programs. It isn't until that final semester that I go, "Oh, sweet God, I should have done something else." But I also hate not finishing things! I feel determined to finish the program to prove to myself that I'm not quitting because I am lazy. I'm working on my second bachelor's, but by the time I finish school in a few years, I'll have more degrees than I'll mention in conversation. On topic: I want him to be as educated or more educated than I am. This just means he has to have some interest in different cultures and be willing to explore things he finds interesting...oh, and he has to use standard English. It annoys me when a guy tries to talk to me and he constantly calls me "Ma," "sweetie," "baby," or "cutie." Just don't...
temple Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) I'd say that it generally wouldn't bother me if a guy was not as educated as myself. However I would definitely want someone as intellectually curious. It doesn't matter to me whether or not they have a certificate to prove that. Edited January 12, 2010 by temple
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I find it weird that you don't know me, yet know so much about me! I call it exploring. I just keep hitting walls at the end of the programs. It isn't until that final semester that I go, "Oh, sweet God, I should have done something else." But I also hate not finishing things! I feel determined to finish the program to prove to myself that I'm not quitting because I am lazy. I'm working on my second bachelor's, but by the time I finish school in a few years, I'll have more degrees than I'll mention in conversation. On topic: I want him to be as educated or more educated than I am. This just means he has to have some interest in different cultures and be willing to explore things he finds interesting...oh, and he has to use standard English. It annoys me when a guy tries to talk to me and he constantly calls me "Ma," "sweetie," "baby," or "cutie." Just don't... Haha it's purely coincidental and again just my personal opinion BTW I am extremly annoyed when guy uses shorthand in correspondence with me. If he writes c u soon, or I have something 4 u or anything along these lines (even in a phone text message), I am majorly turned off.
anne1707 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 There is such a thing a overly educated. For example, what about those people who have Bachelors degrees in 3 unrelated fields? It shows indicisivness and inability to commit to something. Not strictly true. I know that for me, I have qualifications that have enabled me to develop my career but have since gained more just for personal interest/devlopment. I have therefore been able to commit to my career development yet have also been able to commit myself to learning new things that are completely unrelated to my work.
torranceshipman Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 The problem is not their education but rather the air of superiority that such women often carry themselves with. Although I'm quite well educated myself, I simply cannot stand people who think education makes them superior to the 'unwashed masses'. On top of that, many (but not all) 'overly educated' women lean towards feminism, which is a huge turnoff in and of itself. I don't think you have the right conceptualization of feminism (unless you are referring to the militant extremist type). Liberal feminists just want general equality for men and women, respect both sexes, and respect themselves. Whats such a turn off about that?-unless your preference is for a doormat, or if you are a misogynist, but I'm guessing you're not. Feminism is horribly misinterpreted in the media/society at the moment, but I'm not jumping on that bandwagon. As for the original question...I have a PhD and so does my boyfriend - we are very happy about that, as we like to talk about a lot of geeky stuff , and its a turn on for both of us really...but both of us have exes that we loved that didn't have particularly advanced educational qualifications. It's all about the person - and neither of us think that having a degree makes anyone a better person - it just means you've aggregated more info about a certain topic- nothing more.
Johnny M Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I don't think you have the right conceptualization of feminism (unless you are referring to the militant extremist type). Liberal feminists just want general equality for men and women, respect both sexes, and respect themselves. Legal equality between men and women has long been achieved. In fact, some would argue that the pendulum has now swung the other way and women have more rights than men (especially when it comes to things like matrimonial disputes). Respect for oneself is a general concept that is independent from feminism (you don't need to be a feminist to respect yourself). And respect for both sexes is a pretty vague concept that can mean just about anything. All of this is a long way of saying that liberal feminism is a redundant ideology in the 21st century in the same vein as abolitionism, republicanism and anti-colonialism are redundant ideologies. The women who chose to identify themselves as 'feminist' are either the militant type or have been living under the rock for at least 20 years.
Lizzie60 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 It all depends.. you can have High School only and be very successful in life.. I don't think it has anything to do with intelligence... to some degree... although... I can hardly see a neuro surgeon (male or female) dating a 'house cleaning lady' or a car mechacic... not that s/he's not intelligent.. they are simply not on the same 'level' of education... and that's quite normal... as they 'highly educated' people will find partners in the same circle of people... IMO
Mary3 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Most educated women tend to be feminists who are completely incapable of having a lasting and successful relationship. A man is better off marrying a waitress or a woman who is less educated and successful than he is. Is your wife educated ?
Woggle Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Is your wife educated ? Yes but she is far from a feminist.
sagetalk Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 It's only a turn off if she's a stuck up snob about it.
wheream_i Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 My ex-gf was (is) extremely intelligent and it turned me on to no end. I just loved to hear her talk about anything. We've been broken up for about three years now but occasionally she will message me or comment on something on Facebook, something that has absolutely nothing scholarly or serious about it and she will ruin the whole thread or post with her rantings against anything not line with her political leanings or anything that can be taking as anti-feminist. Quite ****ing annoying now actually. I wouldn't say she is over-educated, just too smart for her own good.
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