singlelife Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 We were in love and she is my soulmate. I broke up in the summer and we remained friends. We are very close friends and tell each other most everything. She would call every now and then to see how I was. Well today she calls me after no contact for like 4 months and tells me she is getting married. I told her I was happy for her and she deserved to be happy. My question is why tell me. Is that normal. You would think she would tell me over the last four months she was dating someone and everything is great. It was weird. Almost like she was keeping it from me all that time but there was no reason to. We talked about other guys she was dating and girls I was sleeping with. What's up with that.
alphamale Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 What's up with that. u broke up with her and shes letting u know what you "missed out" on...
boogieboy Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 She thought you wouldnt be able to handle that she was more in love with this new guy than she was with you. But dont worry, if she is getting engaged after 4 months, she'll be broken up before the wedding happens.
sparkle Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 erhaps she still loves you and cares about you as a friend, and thought that it was better that you hear it directly from her rather than through the grapevine...and that you will be happy for her, as a friend. And maybe she didn't mention anything before because dating someone is not as big of a deal as marrying someone - she didn't think you needed to know then.
start-fresh Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 u broke up with her and shes letting u know what you "missed out" on... Oh, definitely this. I get a sense from your post that you are hoping she's secretly in love with you or something and trying to shock you to your senses. I'm pretty sure that's not it. I would say she's gloating.
TheLoneSock Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Yes, she's definitely gloating. Just remember, OP. YOU dumped HER. In other words you found reason enough to end it with her, and you do not want to be with her - regardless of what she does with her life afterward. Like alpha said, she's trying to make you feel like you "missed out" on something. Realize that you aren't missing out on anything but a bunch of drama and financial problems. She's gloating now, but wait another 6 months. Also, IMO you should stop talking to her. You don't remain friends with exes, and if you do you don't talk weekly about other guys she's banging. You're obviously troubled by this if you're posting about it in confusion. Cutting her out of your life would be a huge benefit to you.
StalledGirl Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 My ex got in touch with me and never mentioned the fact that he is engaged. His messages were nasty but i'd have thought he would have gloated as he mentioned how "it was a breath of fresh air" being with someone new. Put it down to mindgames and move on. I swear people who become engaged so quickly have a screw loose 90% of the time:laugh:
tami-chan Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I agree with Alphamale, she probably just wants you to feel like "damn, the one who got away...what was I thinking? ".... How do you feel about it, though? are you upset? do you feel like you "missed out?"-you were in love with her at one point, after all. It looks like her telling you about it is bothering a bit...why?
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 We were in love and she is my soulmate. I broke up in the summer and we remained friends. We are very close friends and tell each other most everything. She would call every now and then to see how I was. Well today she calls me after no contact for like 4 months and tells me she is getting married. I told her I was happy for her and she deserved to be happy. My question is why tell me. Is that normal. You would think she would tell me over the last four months she was dating someone and everything is great. It was weird. Almost like she was keeping it from me all that time but there was no reason to. We talked about other guys she was dating and girls I was sleeping with. What's up with that. Oh god I would ignore her, she isnt your soulmate, she isnt marrying you, she isnt your friend, forget about her, and erase her phone number dont be a chump. getting engaged after 4 months, shows you her mindset, she doesnt love you. Dont kid yourself.
aerogurl87 Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 OP if she thought you two were soulmates then the situation would have been like this. She would've called after 4 months, told you she still loved you, and that she thinks you two should give things another go. What she did was just her way of trying to get back at you, like "ha! You didn't want me but he does and now you have to miss out!" Move on with your life and don't look back.
Author singlelife Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Yeah I see what you guys are saying. I thought we were cool but it seems not. I thought we were closer than that and that did hurt. I probably should just leave her be.
Author singlelife Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 The other thing is she lives in another state about 4 hrs away. Since I didn't talk to her she could have cut off contact forever and I would not hae ever know. This is like all other girls do I am sure. So yeah I guess she wanted to gloat. Whatever.
b52s Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 u broke up with her and shes letting u know what you "missed out" on... Actually, she might be telling you this hoping you would tell her not to go through with it, and her marry you! It is possible....happened with my dad.
Author singlelife Posted January 12, 2010 Author Posted January 12, 2010 Well I sent her an IM telling her how I felt. I didn't mention this but I don't want to be her bf and it is best that she found someone. The reason I broke up is that my ways aren't good for a relationship. She wanted to move down but I wouldn't let her. I felt my ways would have ended it eventually and no since i having her change her life for me. I told her I was still happy for her but honestly a peice of me is hurt. But I will get over it. She hasn't responded yet and I don't really want her to I just wanted her to know how I felt. We always had honest communication so that's why I did it. Anyway I guess chapter closed on that. Back to my fun loving ways.
Author singlelife Posted January 13, 2010 Author Posted January 13, 2010 She hit me up. She said she really liked my message and said that i didnt have to tell her that because she already knew i would feel that way because she knows me in and out. she went on to tell me that we are soooo tight. then she said that she is not even sure she and this dude will make it but its what she wants. we talked for about 20 min. it was established that we still cared for each other and i gave her advice on how to make her relationship work wih her new man. she thanked me for my support. i felt good about the situation. anyway what ya'll think of that.
start-fresh Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 She hit me up. She said she really liked my message and said that i didnt have to tell her that because she already knew i would feel that way because she knows me in and out. she went on to tell me that we are soooo tight. then she said that she is not even sure she and this dude will make it but its what she wants. we talked for about 20 min. it was established that we still cared for each other and i gave her advice on how to make her relationship work wih her new man. she thanked me for my support. i felt good about the situation. anyway what ya'll think of that. I think that's great as long as it's what you're happy about as well. If you are doing any of this with hopes of you two being together though, just realize she no longer sees you as a man. Personally, talking to this girl like this if I was even remotely interested in her romantically would make me feel like crap. I kind of cringed reading it.
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 13, 2010 Posted January 13, 2010 Bulllcrap. dont fall for it. there's so many red flags over what she said to you. dont contact her and move on!!!! She doesnt even know if it'll last with the guy??? Then why is she marrying him? WTF? You missed out, so move on.
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