bigapplejen Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I keep encountering guy that are not into me, but continue to talk to me and string me along. Last guy in the summer strung me along for 7 months prior and i was the one to end it. And when i said that i felt he wasnt that interested in me, all he could say was " I am sorry that you feel that way" No denying the fact at all. Now, its a New Year and i dont want to make the same mistakes. Can someone tell me the signs that a guy is into you, and what red flags to watch for that will tell me that he isnt so that i can cut him off sooner rather than later? I keep getting BS artists that just bs their way out of lies, and give lame excuses. Thanks.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Can someone tell me the signs that a guy is into you, and what red flags to watch for that will tell me that he isnt so that i can cut him off sooner rather than later? guy asks for your phone number then calls you. you go out on some dates. if he hasn't tried to get you in the sack by date #4 then write him off
Chicago_Guy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I keep encountering guy that are not into me, but continue to talk to me and string me along. Last guy in the summer strung me along for 7 months prior and i was the one to end it. And when i said that i felt he wasnt that interested in me, all he could say was " I am sorry that you feel that way" No denying the fact at all. Now, its a New Year and i dont want to make the same mistakes. Can someone tell me the signs that a guy is into you, and what red flags to watch for that will tell me that he isnt so that i can cut him off sooner rather than later? I keep getting BS artists that just bs their way out of lies, and give lame excuses. Thanks. If he calls when he says he will, wants to see you, doesn't routinely cancel dates, returns phone calls, introduces you to his friends at some point, and generally opens up to you he's probably in to you. Do you do the same things when you are dating a guy whom you really like? A lot of women don't like it if the guy is showing more interest in them than they are in him, so guys almost have to hold back until the woman makes her feelings clear.
Chicago_Guy Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 guy asks for your phone number then calls you. you go out on some dates. if he hasn't tried to get you in the sack by date #4 then write him off I don't agree with that at all although there should be some romantic progression. Some guys are more likely to push for sex right away if they don't really care about the girl.
hopesndreams Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 Forget the trying to get you into the sack bit. If a guy is interested, they will keep eye contact, ask many questions and want to know when they can see you again.
MyNameIsJonas Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 guy asks for your phone number then calls you. you go out on some dates. if he hasn't tried to get you in the sack by date #4 then write him off Date #4 is a bit too absolute. I would say that if you are ready to get physical with him and he isn't responding, and you think it's too early to ask about it, then yes, move on. Getting back to the original question, assuming he has your number and you have been on some dates, the more universal signs are: - He returns your calls in a fairly timely manner, or if not, has a valid reason why. -Wants to know more about you and your life (asks about your day, asks follow up questions to points you say when you are talking). -Physical flirting and touching. -Eventually tries to cheer you up if you state a downer comment about yourself. Some men, myself included, will do a small jab when a woman states a comment like this, then smile, recant, and make said "cheer up" comment. -Initiates physical contact after a few dates. Some guys are slower than others and note I did not say sex. The above are basic universal signs as one guy is different from another one. Just don't get wrapped up in set intervals or time periods (if he hasn't done X by Y then he's gone). You will drive yourself mad and single over thinking stuff like that.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 No one can string you along unless you let them. If a guy isn't showing appropriate interest, make the decision to move along. You have complete control over how people treat you- never forget that and you should do okay.
Author bigapplejen Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 If he calls when he says he will, wants to see you, doesn't routinely cancel dates, returns phone calls, introduces you to his friends at some point, and generally opens up to you he's probably in to you. Do you do the same things when you are dating a guy whom you really like? A lot of women don't like it if the guy is showing more interest in them than they are in him, so guys almost have to hold back until the woman makes her feelings clear. Yeah i am pretty upfront. The last couple guys were just flakes, and i was pretty clear about what i wanted/looking for and so was he or so i thought.
Author bigapplejen Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 No one can string you along unless you let them. If a guy isn't showing appropriate interest, make the decision to move along. You have complete control over how people treat you- never forget that and you should do okay. I confuse mistreatment with over reacting.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I confuse mistreatment with over reacting. I think it's a matter of learning how to trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it's probably not right. If you have to ask someone how they feel about you because it isn't clear to you- something isn't right. That's when it's time to take control and let things drop.
Author bigapplejen Posted January 11, 2010 Author Posted January 11, 2010 I think it's a matter of learning how to trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it's probably not right. If you have to ask someone how they feel about you because it isn't clear to you- something isn't right. That's when it's time to take control and let things drop. Yeah i recently had to do that because i was like oh no way in hell am i going through that hell again. It was like dejavu. I though maybe i was over reacting as i give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But i felt sick to my stomach almost about it, so i knew i was right.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 if he hasn't tried to get you in the sack by date #4 then write him off to clarify i said "tried to"
Anela Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 I think it's a matter of learning how to trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it's probably not right. If you have to ask someone how they feel about you because it isn't clear to you- something isn't right. That's when it's time to take control and let things drop. Right. I've dealt with this, and I think it's finally over, between me and the guy I've been dealing with (whatever it was that we had - I'm still scratching my head over his behaviour). He once told me that he loved me, and then started to backpedal. I made the stupid mistake of becoming hopeful, every time things made a turn for the better/more interesting, but I couldn't take it anymore.
harmfulsweetz Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 You waited 7 months?? Oh dear...you really need to understand what you will accept and what you won't. A guy who is into you will: 1)Take his time to spend with you 2)Call when he says he will, or pretty close to the time 3) Introduce you to his circle of friends 4) Physical contact That's my way of thinking anyway. If you get a gut feeling that he just isn't feeling you, it's because he generally isn't. I'm not saying place a time limit upon men showing their interest, but if your gut says that by a certain time nothing has come of it, move on. I once dated a guy (who ended up being my bf for three years) who seemed to be totally messing me about, we would date once a week, text most nights, yet he wasn't willing to go exclusive. Then around two months into dating, he asked to be exclusive. Some guys take longer, but he was damn lucky he hadn't waited another day because I was ready to move on...(bearing in mind, I'd asked several times what we were because I was confused).
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